A see-how-much-you-can-read Post

Hmm...where should I start...

Work
My current internship has been pretty...intriguing and entertaining - in many different ways. Haha. The Public Relations field is full of... interesting people. The people I have been working with are very different from those who I have worked with. Don't get me wrong, they are a nice bunch, enjoy fun, food, work and life. Since its an Australian based company, and also because of the nature of the job, they are largely westernized and have a strong aesthetic sense.

Anyway, I had a unique opportunity last Wednesday to go for a fine dining experience. Our clients are chefs who specialize in traditional Italian and French cuisine. We held an editorial night for them and invited journalists and editors from the media for a culinary experience - hoping in return they would feature our clients on their specific publication.

It was a 4-course dinner with Beetroot with caramelized onions, Aglio Olio, Osso Bucco (amazingly delicious) and Tomato sorbet & Basil panna cotta. Each course was served with an appropriate wine to supposedly complement the taste of each course. If you don't already know, Huiling is a hopeless drinker yet eager to know how to drink, she took the risk of trying. First up was Champaign for the mingling session. Everyone was complementing how ______ (they practically exhausted all words possibly found in the dictionary to describe good wine) the Champaign was but when I tasted it, I was trying not to let my eyes pop out. Then there was Sauvignon Blanc (for Beetroot), Gewurztraminer (for Aglio Olio) , Shiraz (for Osso Bucco), and some ice wine for the Sorbet and Panna Cotta. I thought I was fine after taking in the somewhat negligible amount of wine but when I was on my way home, I could feel my world spinning.

Birthdays

Edmund's birthday at Costa Sands - the theme was 'geek'.

Ed, you put our friendship into test by making cool me dress like that. Hahhahaa.

I cannot stop laughing when I saw this picture. Look at Juan!!! Thats like...classic man!

And I felt damn cheated when I saw this! I thought we agreed to look blur in this photo (I must have misunderstood)! Gosh I look retarded.

Anyway, Happy 21st Birthday Ed! You've been a great pal, remarkably kind and nice, happy, and funny at the most unexpected time - I'm thankful having you as an ODAC mate!

May you have a happy and fulfilling year ahead. You might also consider playing less PS. Haha

Shingaling's birthday at Aranda Country Club - the theme was 'masquerade' (right?)

I don't see any photos uploaded on facebook yet so that got to wait. I reckon it should turn out well since we had really cool masks.

Her party became a traumatising night. The Odacians somehow got hold of The Scream's masks and that was seriously unnerving. They scared me sooooo many times. I wonder if there is bad blood between the Odac guys and me. Why must they always, unfailingly do something to me on everyone's birthday. I got splashed with water during Ed's and I got Taupoked during Shing's. HELLO WHERE GOT GUYS TAUPOK A GIRL ONE! Ok, the only 'welfare' I got before getting taupoked by around 5 guys was 1 pillow on top of me. Luckily the weight was concentrated on my legs and the person directly on top of me.

Predicting that I might get wet by the Odacians within the next hour, I ran for cover by going home! Nah la, I would have stayed over and have HTHTCOT (finally remember what that means) with them if not because I had work the next day.

It was fun, and heres to wish you a Happy 21st Birthday Shingaling! I shall not reiterate what I typed previously for Ed less you say I plagiarized. (Technically, I can't plagiarize what I wrote, can I?) Haha nah, but Shingaling, you really have been a great friend to ODAC. I think its apparent to all of us that you've put in much time and effort in keeping us together, and we thank you for that. ODAC is close to all of us yet we have to inevitably move on to the next phase of life. Despite all of that, I think we remain surprisingly close, and I think we owe majority of that to you. Thank you and may you be happy.

Chinhao's birthday at his own house

Again, I do not have any photos. I met Jo and Spenc at SengKang to walk to Chinhao's place. There, I met my JC classmates and finally, Shiling. We played Wacko and haha, its actually quite fun but very tiring because I kept losing. I honestly think I did not lose that many times. Doesn't mean that they cannot figure out which name I called means I did not call a name.

We left pretty early and Yekwai gave us a leave home. I am very sure ChinHao will never ever come across this blog but in view of consistency, I will still wish him a Happy 21st Birthday over here! (Haha I bet you guys think I am damn insincere. But not true, he really will never know this blog's existence)

University stuff
Ok, are you still with me after my droning paragraphs above? If so, good! Be prepared for more:
My results are all out - the ones I thought I would flunk did pretty well, the one which I thought I could score did exceptionally poor. I was so shock when I saw my contracts grade such that I did not even feel a tinge of sadness. I was boiling mad - I don't understand which part could have gone wrong, even if I did, was it that serious to warrant a B-!!! My tests grades were above average, I studied exceptionally hard for it, I enjoyed the paper, I came out of the examination hall feeling confident yet the final grade could not even reflect anything similar to that! I kept refreshing the window thinking that they must have made a mistake in the grades and maybe correct it thereafter but they never did so I finally resigned to that grade.

BUT to my anger yesterday, I realized I was 0.1 mark from getting honours. This was what i received from my course adviser:

Dear Huiling,

All students who completed Part II in 2008 and get the GPA >= 75 (B+) will be invited into Honours Programme.

Unfortunately, you are not eligible this year. Your GPA is 74.90, slightly lower than the requirement. As the number of invitations is limited, we just invite students with GPA: sharply 75 up.

0.1 MARK! I AM THAT CLOSE!!! Its not even HALF A MARK! I could not let Honours go just like that. So I spent 2 hours coming up with an email to persuade her that she should let me get into the programme. It was a page long, telling her how much I wanna do it and blah blah blah. Thank god I got an appraisal from the previous law firm I worked with last year which hopefully would be of some use. Seriously, after all the reasons I have given her to just overlook a mere 0.1 mark, and if she still refuses to let me in, I have nothing to say.

Also, I received an email from the partner of WP saying that they have significantly reduced the internship places this January (Carol said many other law firms have been cutting down a lot on pupillage and internship places too, probably because of the economy). But from what I've gathered from his email was that I needed to prove to him that 1) I am intending to work as a lawyer in Singapore after I graduate. 2) My conjoint degree is recognized in Singapore. 3) The route I have to take to sit for the bar in Singapore.

Sigh, it seems as though I could have a chance to work with them if not for the economy. There is still a slim possibility since he bothered replying and a pretty long one too. Plus he is one of the partners there and hopefully he can see my desire to work with them. Fingers cross - I've already sent an email to check with the Dean and law society to confirm the relevance of my degrees. I hope I'm able to get 2 good news this coming Monday.

Family
Are you still with me? Woa, I'm impressed. Haha.
My mom confiscated my Sim card yesterday for no apparent reason. She probably quarreled with Dad and decided to vent her anger. Since I was late for work, I left the sim card on the table and ran off to work. I was supposed to meet Carol for lunch but without my sim card in my mobile, I can't retrieve anyone's number. So during lunch, I rushed to the nearest convenience store to get a prepaid card. 7/11 required my ID which I didn't have on me so I thought going directly to the Starhub retail store would be able to solve that problem.

I took a train down to Raffles Place (nearest Starhub) and tried buying off them. Unable to contact Carol, I started panicking and that darn sales person was moving 1/2 the speed of any average person. I asked impatiently if that was the place to buy a Sim Card and he said yes but I have to wait because he is meddling with some stupid system. I flared up and demanded to buy it immediately because I was needed to contact people urgently and I have to get back to work soon. He then asked for my ID and I said I have none. He thinks I'm a foreigner and said that he can't sell it to me based on IDA requirements. I started 'quarreling' with him, and narrated how I came all the way from Tanjong Pagar and blah blah blah. Saying that its ridiculous because I can't get any contacts out of my phone. I was so frustrated and said, ' SO HOW?! If you don't want to sell it to me, how am I going to get my contacts out of my phone?! How to call? HUH? This is ridiculous you know. I take a train from Tanjong Pagar and I have to rush back for work now. This is urgent. I NEED TO CALL NOW.' If you know me, I am not usually like that and would not be that confrontational to people who are just doing their job. But I was so agitated then - thinking that if my mom wasn't in her crazy mood, I wouldn't have to go through all that trouble. At last that guy lent me his sim card so I could retrieve the numbers. That wasn't the end but its too long to type. Anyhows, my 1 hour launch break became a 1hour marathon.

Ok, I really should end. Haha else I would go on and on and on about soo many other stuff. But basically, I have learned a lot this year. A lot, which I hope I would remember and stay with it.

concealed

Finally, access to the internet!
Gosh, it has been nothing but inconvenient without the internet and where else to leech it from but Jo's hall. This is my 3rd time here ever since my return, mainly to do up my CV and probably/hopefully to watch her study.

Just came back from cruise this morning - pretty boring yet pretty interesting in some sense. Ok, Dad just called and I better get going. He says I'm nomadic and I better appear in front of them more often before I get barred from going out.

And when I thought everything would turn out fine, everything came crashing down.

Time after time - The feeling of being discredited

Luck vs Hard work
What proportion of your success is based on luck and what is based on your own hard work?
Basically, how much of it is deservingly yours, how much of it can you claim credit for?

Sometimes you can go on about how the world is unfair and whinge about the 'if onlys', sometimes you work your ass off and all you get is a dismissal because your success supposedly flowed from your 'luck', your 'connections' and blah blah blah - anything but your hardwork.
Sometimes they say the apple never falls far from the tree. Maybe what I have now is only because of what my family have given me.

Yes, luck is significant but hard work is essential. I do not deny how luck can make a difference but I am adamant that hard work balances it out. Luck tilts the balance, robs some from certain opportunities but hard work and determination makes them available again. Although I must agree that the amount may be disproportionate at times.

Yeah, I know many might think: what do you know? Your life has been pretty smooth-sailing. I may not know all that much but I am no stranger to hard work. I have worked my ass off through my life to fight for what I want - whether you see it or not - because I believe that even if I might have lost in intelligence, in wealth, in looks etc which are not within my control, there is still something which might be able to push me through. And you know what I think the best thing is? This gem is available for everyone, its only whether you want to seize it. The doors are never all close, its always up to you to decide if you want to utilize your determination and hard work. Its not others' fault that they are doing better than you, maybe you have not done what you could have.

When others do rise above you, yeah, they might have been luckier but not just lucky. More often than not you do not see the hard work that they have gone through. Some conceal it on purpose, some just do not boast about it but whatever it is, do give credit to them. Because as lucky as they can get, they are nothing without some effort put into it.

The feeling of being discredited is never good. Be a lil nicer and award them with what they deserve. They might have been lucky, but what are the chances of always being lucky. There should be something more than that. Maybe it is hard work.

Time after time

Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback
Warm nights almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after

Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me
I can't hear what you've said
Then you say: "Go slow."
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

After my picture fades
And darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time

You say: "Go slow."
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time

Reflections I

Its definitely not the most appropriate time to be doing this on the eve of my final paper but I think I can afford to, considering that I'm almost done with revision and the myriad thoughts in my mind have been nothing but distracting.

Responsibility vs Personality
I think people often get away with stuff using the excuse that 'this is who I am' and the other party, without thinking might just accept it thinking thats just she/he, it is an inherent personality which she/he can't change and we shouldn't interfere with it.

But wait a minute, isn't it too easy for him/her? To brush his/her responsibility off just because 'that is just me'. Damnit, I can easily be a bitch and maybe later pretend to be apologetic and pretend to feel helpless for what I've done because 'that is just me'.

Come on, it can't be that easy, there must be something called responsibility to tilt the scale back to balance. Sadly, responsibility isn't an inherent personality for everyone. Its subjective and some smugs would probably go on and on about them being responsible in this and that when in actual fact, they are nothing close to that.

Responsibility isn't something you talk about or show. Its something which flows from what you do. Its not something you think you are, its something people say you are. It is not gauge by you but by a reasonable standard. (I really do not like to bring in that law-ish test but I think that is most fitting)

In short, you cannot be certain that you are responsible just because you think you are. You might be sometimes but that doesn't apply to all situations. And, you act because thats the way you are ain't the best reason to explain what you have done - its really an artificial excuse which provides no justification in your actions. Alright, maybe it does a lil, but still, there is something called self-control. I can't go around murdering anyone I hate just because 'thats the way I am' - you don't expect yourself to be acquitted with that 'defence'. There is something called self-control which people practise to keep things in order. You do not own the world and your actions do not contain to yourself. As much as you want to stay true to yourself, you got to know you are not alone in this world. And as much as you said you've practised self-control and are indeed, a responsible person, look around to see the consequences of what you've done before claiming that.

Again, its all about the balance.
Do you have that? Or was it something you thought you had?

Each person is at each moment capable of remembering all that has happened to him and of perceiving everything that is happening everywhere in the universe. The function of the brain and nervous system is to protect us from being overwhelmed and confused by this mass of largely useless and irrelevant knowledge, by shutting out most of it. According to such a theory, each of us is potentially Mind at Large.