Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Finally, access to the internet!
Gosh, it has been nothing but inconvenient without the internet and where else to leech it from but Jo's hall. This is my 3rd time here ever since my return, mainly to do up my CV and probably/hopefully to watch her study.
Just came back from cruise this morning - pretty boring yet pretty interesting in some sense. Ok, Dad just called and I better get going. He says I'm nomadic and I better appear in front of them more often before I get barred from going out.
Gosh, it has been nothing but inconvenient without the internet and where else to leech it from but Jo's hall. This is my 3rd time here ever since my return, mainly to do up my CV and probably/hopefully to watch her study.
Just came back from cruise this morning - pretty boring yet pretty interesting in some sense. Ok, Dad just called and I better get going. He says I'm nomadic and I better appear in front of them more often before I get barred from going out.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Time after time - The feeling of being discredited
Luck vs Hard work
What proportion of your success is based on luck and what is based on your own hard work?
Basically, how much of it is deservingly yours, how much of it can you claim credit for?
Sometimes you can go on about how the world is unfair and whinge about the 'if onlys', sometimes you work your ass off and all you get is a dismissal because your success supposedly flowed from your 'luck', your 'connections' and blah blah blah - anything but your hardwork.
Sometimes they say the apple never falls far from the tree. Maybe what I have now is only because of what my family have given me.
Yes, luck is significant but hard work is essential. I do not deny how luck can make a difference but I am adamant that hard work balances it out. Luck tilts the balance, robs some from certain opportunities but hard work and determination makes them available again. Although I must agree that the amount may be disproportionate at times.
Yeah, I know many might think: what do you know? Your life has been pretty smooth-sailing. I may not know all that much but I am no stranger to hard work. I have worked my ass off through my life to fight for what I want - whether you see it or not - because I believe that even if I might have lost in intelligence, in wealth, in looks etc which are not within my control, there is still something which might be able to push me through. And you know what I think the best thing is? This gem is available for everyone, its only whether you want to seize it. The doors are never all close, its always up to you to decide if you want to utilize your determination and hard work. Its not others' fault that they are doing better than you, maybe you have not done what you could have.
When others do rise above you, yeah, they might have been luckier but not just lucky. More often than not you do not see the hard work that they have gone through. Some conceal it on purpose, some just do not boast about it but whatever it is, do give credit to them. Because as lucky as they can get, they are nothing without some effort put into it.
The feeling of being discredited is never good. Be a lil nicer and award them with what they deserve. They might have been lucky, but what are the chances of always being lucky. There should be something more than that. Maybe it is hard work.
Time after time
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback
Warm nights almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me
I can't hear what you've said
Then you say: "Go slow."
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
After my picture fades
And darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time
If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time
You say: "Go slow."
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time
What proportion of your success is based on luck and what is based on your own hard work?
Basically, how much of it is deservingly yours, how much of it can you claim credit for?
Sometimes you can go on about how the world is unfair and whinge about the 'if onlys', sometimes you work your ass off and all you get is a dismissal because your success supposedly flowed from your 'luck', your 'connections' and blah blah blah - anything but your hardwork.
Sometimes they say the apple never falls far from the tree. Maybe what I have now is only because of what my family have given me.
Yes, luck is significant but hard work is essential. I do not deny how luck can make a difference but I am adamant that hard work balances it out. Luck tilts the balance, robs some from certain opportunities but hard work and determination makes them available again. Although I must agree that the amount may be disproportionate at times.
Yeah, I know many might think: what do you know? Your life has been pretty smooth-sailing. I may not know all that much but I am no stranger to hard work. I have worked my ass off through my life to fight for what I want - whether you see it or not - because I believe that even if I might have lost in intelligence, in wealth, in looks etc which are not within my control, there is still something which might be able to push me through. And you know what I think the best thing is? This gem is available for everyone, its only whether you want to seize it. The doors are never all close, its always up to you to decide if you want to utilize your determination and hard work. Its not others' fault that they are doing better than you, maybe you have not done what you could have.
When others do rise above you, yeah, they might have been luckier but not just lucky. More often than not you do not see the hard work that they have gone through. Some conceal it on purpose, some just do not boast about it but whatever it is, do give credit to them. Because as lucky as they can get, they are nothing without some effort put into it.
The feeling of being discredited is never good. Be a lil nicer and award them with what they deserve. They might have been lucky, but what are the chances of always being lucky. There should be something more than that. Maybe it is hard work.
Time after time
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback
Warm nights almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after
Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me
I can't hear what you've said
Then you say: "Go slow."
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
After my picture fades
And darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time
If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time
You say: "Go slow."
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost, you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time
Friday, November 14, 2008
Reflections I
Its definitely not the most appropriate time to be doing this on the eve of my final paper but I think I can afford to, considering that I'm almost done with revision and the myriad thoughts in my mind have been nothing but distracting.
Responsibility vs Personality
I think people often get away with stuff using the excuse that 'this is who I am' and the other party, without thinking might just accept it thinking thats just she/he, it is an inherent personality which she/he can't change and we shouldn't interfere with it.
But wait a minute, isn't it too easy for him/her? To brush his/her responsibility off just because 'that is just me'. Damnit, I can easily be a bitch and maybe later pretend to be apologetic and pretend to feel helpless for what I've done because 'that is just me'.
Come on, it can't be that easy, there must be something called responsibility to tilt the scale back to balance. Sadly, responsibility isn't an inherent personality for everyone. Its subjective and some smugs would probably go on and on about them being responsible in this and that when in actual fact, they are nothing close to that.
Responsibility isn't something you talk about or show. Its something which flows from what you do. Its not something you think you are, its something people say you are. It is not gauge by you but by a reasonable standard. (I really do not like to bring in that law-ish test but I think that is most fitting)
In short, you cannot be certain that you are responsible just because you think you are. You might be sometimes but that doesn't apply to all situations. And, you act because thats the way you are ain't the best reason to explain what you have done - its really an artificial excuse which provides no justification in your actions. Alright, maybe it does a lil, but still, there is something called self-control. I can't go around murdering anyone I hate just because 'thats the way I am' - you don't expect yourself to be acquitted with that 'defence'. There is something called self-control which people practise to keep things in order. You do not own the world and your actions do not contain to yourself. As much as you want to stay true to yourself, you got to know you are not alone in this world. And as much as you said you've practised self-control and are indeed, a responsible person, look around to see the consequences of what you've done before claiming that.
Again, its all about the balance.
Do you have that? Or was it something you thought you had?
Responsibility vs Personality
I think people often get away with stuff using the excuse that 'this is who I am' and the other party, without thinking might just accept it thinking thats just she/he, it is an inherent personality which she/he can't change and we shouldn't interfere with it.
But wait a minute, isn't it too easy for him/her? To brush his/her responsibility off just because 'that is just me'. Damnit, I can easily be a bitch and maybe later pretend to be apologetic and pretend to feel helpless for what I've done because 'that is just me'.
Come on, it can't be that easy, there must be something called responsibility to tilt the scale back to balance. Sadly, responsibility isn't an inherent personality for everyone. Its subjective and some smugs would probably go on and on about them being responsible in this and that when in actual fact, they are nothing close to that.
Responsibility isn't something you talk about or show. Its something which flows from what you do. Its not something you think you are, its something people say you are. It is not gauge by you but by a reasonable standard. (I really do not like to bring in that law-ish test but I think that is most fitting)
In short, you cannot be certain that you are responsible just because you think you are. You might be sometimes but that doesn't apply to all situations. And, you act because thats the way you are ain't the best reason to explain what you have done - its really an artificial excuse which provides no justification in your actions. Alright, maybe it does a lil, but still, there is something called self-control. I can't go around murdering anyone I hate just because 'thats the way I am' - you don't expect yourself to be acquitted with that 'defence'. There is something called self-control which people practise to keep things in order. You do not own the world and your actions do not contain to yourself. As much as you want to stay true to yourself, you got to know you are not alone in this world. And as much as you said you've practised self-control and are indeed, a responsible person, look around to see the consequences of what you've done before claiming that.
Again, its all about the balance.
Do you have that? Or was it something you thought you had?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Each person is at each moment capable of remembering all that has happened to him and of perceiving everything that is happening everywhere in the universe. The function of the brain and nervous system is to protect us from being overwhelmed and confused by this mass of largely useless and irrelevant knowledge, by shutting out most of it. According to such a theory, each of us is potentially Mind at Large.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
As lazy as Huiling
HOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am done with Contracts, Macroeconomics and Torts!
HOOOOYYYAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
I'm relieved that its over not because I do not like them just that it was the most hellish/traumatizing/stressful/draining exams I ever took in my entire life. Not kidding.
When I saw my exam timetable, I knew I was gone:
6/11 Law of Contract (2:15pm - 5:30pm)
7/11 Macroeconomics (9:15am - 12:30pm)
8/11 Law of Torts (2:15pm - 5:30pm)
What perfect dates - to squeeze my 3 core papers in 3 days, 2 out of which are full year papers. So.not.funny. Still trying to be ambitious, I was determined to read all my cases (~500 pages for torts, ~400 pages for contracts). I became a hermit the week preceding the exams, never stepping out of the house. The housework accumulated, the toilet paper and food depleted but Momo was flustered, trying to save her sorry ass by cramming and churning out pages and pages and pages of notes - almost finishing 1 cartridge of ink within a day.
As usual, my time management skills were far from perfect. Rather, I was (also as usual) too stubborn to just read the damn summarized notes. I spent practically ALL my time on contracts, allocating close to nothing for Torts and Econs. I felt that contracts was too important to neglect or do badly, a challenging paper thus a good test of ability, I like it, I like my lecturer, and I attended quite a bit of lectures for it. It was a bad choice I know because the subsequent days after contracts were seriously LIKE HELL and I have never felt so tired/desperate/hopeless/helpless etc before. But then again, I know if given another chance, based on my character, I would have done the same so no regrets.
Basically, after contracts I was beaten and the thought of having to study Econs (freaking 11 topics) after a draining 3hour paper, within 1 night and drag myself early next morning to sit for the other paper was blooodddyyy demoralizing. The desire to do well in that paper adds further to the burden. Anyways, its beyond words to describe my frustrations. The table was acting like a magnet that night, pulling my head down and I finally gave in around 1plus 2am.
The second day of battle didn't come any easier. I was so tired during the exam I hardly put an effort to think. I was contemplating to sleep for half an hour during the paper and wake up later so I can have a lil more concentration but I was darn scared that I would oversleep so I pushed on. Uh, but I reached my maximum endurance level and left half an hour earlier. (I knew the worst is yet to come, I had to complete 1 year of torts within 1 day).
Ok, part 3 of the battle was by far the most horrid and traumatizing one. I have never cursed so much in my life, so afraid to fail yet so desperately wanted to do well. I remembered when I saw the pile of notes I had to read at 1am, tears welled up and I was on the verge of giving up. By then, I was already ridiculously tired after 1 week of slogging. Anyway, I cursed like no other and collapsed in bed at 2am, completing only unintentional torts. I woke up at ~8am the next morning and chionged intentional torts. O.M.G. it was so pressurizing I never knew that I could speed read THAT fast. I completed 6months worth of work in 4hours. Rested a lil and went through the structure and format of the exam and off I went, feeling like I'm 1% prepared.
But it didn't go all that badly, or rather, thats what I think, you never know till the results are out. I might have addressed the wrong issues and totally screw it up but something to be proud of is... I WROTE 30PAGES!!!
And after this whole traumatizing experience, I went to the High Court and voted for the very first time! I was a lil reluctant initially because I did not know about the electorates well enough to make a sound decision but then again, thats when democracy fails - when people like me any how vote. No lah, not really any how but not technically serious as well.
Next was spring cleaning. My apartment was FILTHY. It was sooo disgusting I had to clean something up even I was already half-dead. So I did till my back was screaming in pain and I ended my day watching some elections-related programme.
Ok the next 2 days, Huiling has been ridiculously lazy and greedy, so much so she refused to get out of her house although she had heaps of errands to run. Maybe because the house feels so clean now she must enjoy every bit of it before it gets dirty again. I woke up, ate rice and mushrooms stuffed with mincemeat for breakfast, an hour later, rice with egg and went back to sleep. Then we headed down to mission bay for ice cream and then I had tom yum for dinner. Next morning I woke up to have tom yum with rice and headed back to bed.
I am recovering.
Then again, I actually have not finished my exams. Haha.
I am done with Contracts, Macroeconomics and Torts!
HOOOOYYYAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
I'm relieved that its over not because I do not like them just that it was the most hellish/traumatizing/stressful/draining exams I ever took in my entire life. Not kidding.
When I saw my exam timetable, I knew I was gone:
6/11 Law of Contract (2:15pm - 5:30pm)
7/11 Macroeconomics (9:15am - 12:30pm)
8/11 Law of Torts (2:15pm - 5:30pm)
What perfect dates - to squeeze my 3 core papers in 3 days, 2 out of which are full year papers. So.not.funny. Still trying to be ambitious, I was determined to read all my cases (~500 pages for torts, ~400 pages for contracts). I became a hermit the week preceding the exams, never stepping out of the house. The housework accumulated, the toilet paper and food depleted but Momo was flustered, trying to save her sorry ass by cramming and churning out pages and pages and pages of notes - almost finishing 1 cartridge of ink within a day.
As usual, my time management skills were far from perfect. Rather, I was (also as usual) too stubborn to just read the damn summarized notes. I spent practically ALL my time on contracts, allocating close to nothing for Torts and Econs. I felt that contracts was too important to neglect or do badly, a challenging paper thus a good test of ability, I like it, I like my lecturer, and I attended quite a bit of lectures for it. It was a bad choice I know because the subsequent days after contracts were seriously LIKE HELL and I have never felt so tired/desperate/hopeless/helpless etc before. But then again, I know if given another chance, based on my character, I would have done the same so no regrets.
Basically, after contracts I was beaten and the thought of having to study Econs (freaking 11 topics) after a draining 3hour paper, within 1 night and drag myself early next morning to sit for the other paper was blooodddyyy demoralizing. The desire to do well in that paper adds further to the burden. Anyways, its beyond words to describe my frustrations. The table was acting like a magnet that night, pulling my head down and I finally gave in around 1plus 2am.
The second day of battle didn't come any easier. I was so tired during the exam I hardly put an effort to think. I was contemplating to sleep for half an hour during the paper and wake up later so I can have a lil more concentration but I was darn scared that I would oversleep so I pushed on. Uh, but I reached my maximum endurance level and left half an hour earlier. (I knew the worst is yet to come, I had to complete 1 year of torts within 1 day).
Ok, part 3 of the battle was by far the most horrid and traumatizing one. I have never cursed so much in my life, so afraid to fail yet so desperately wanted to do well. I remembered when I saw the pile of notes I had to read at 1am, tears welled up and I was on the verge of giving up. By then, I was already ridiculously tired after 1 week of slogging. Anyway, I cursed like no other and collapsed in bed at 2am, completing only unintentional torts. I woke up at ~8am the next morning and chionged intentional torts. O.M.G. it was so pressurizing I never knew that I could speed read THAT fast. I completed 6months worth of work in 4hours. Rested a lil and went through the structure and format of the exam and off I went, feeling like I'm 1% prepared.
But it didn't go all that badly, or rather, thats what I think, you never know till the results are out. I might have addressed the wrong issues and totally screw it up but something to be proud of is... I WROTE 30PAGES!!!
And after this whole traumatizing experience, I went to the High Court and voted for the very first time! I was a lil reluctant initially because I did not know about the electorates well enough to make a sound decision but then again, thats when democracy fails - when people like me any how vote. No lah, not really any how but not technically serious as well.
Next was spring cleaning. My apartment was FILTHY. It was sooo disgusting I had to clean something up even I was already half-dead. So I did till my back was screaming in pain and I ended my day watching some elections-related programme.
Ok the next 2 days, Huiling has been ridiculously lazy and greedy, so much so she refused to get out of her house although she had heaps of errands to run. Maybe because the house feels so clean now she must enjoy every bit of it before it gets dirty again. I woke up, ate rice and mushrooms stuffed with mincemeat for breakfast, an hour later, rice with egg and went back to sleep. Then we headed down to mission bay for ice cream and then I had tom yum for dinner. Next morning I woke up to have tom yum with rice and headed back to bed.
I am recovering.
Then again, I actually have not finished my exams. Haha.
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