Backpacking Korea - Itinerary

Day 1
Singapore > BeiJing > Incheon Airport
17 December, 12am > 17 December, 1150am
I was so excited I felt that I could hyperventilate anytime.
But the transit at BeiJing was... yawns. It was so early and I forgot to bring RMB so I had to rot around for 3 hours before my next flight to Incheon.

Reached Incheon Airport earlier than expected. I was supposed to meet Grace at the subway near our hostel but she gave me a shock when she popped out from no where when I came out from the exit. Thank god she came else I have no idea how was I going to drag my luggages into the trains and carrying up the stairs. The subway stations are crazily crowded with freaking rude people who just push you upside down and they have so many transit stations with long flights of stairs. If she hadn't picked me up, I'll probably take 3hours instead of 1.5 hours to reach our hostel.

Left the luggages in the hostel and went for lunch. I had 'Udon with various stuff'. Its...ermz...really with various stuff - eggs, udon, rice cake, squid, crabmeat, hotdog blah blah blah. Maybe thats our version of rojak.

Met Esther and headed down to Myeongdong for shopping and then to N'Seoul tower. That was really the highlight. It was beautiful at night! Couples should all go there!

Day 2
Woke up early in the morning and went for a day trip to DMZ - Demilitarized Zone. Its the world's most heavily fortified border. Its cool but very strict. But we got to see North Korea from the Dora observatory. North Korea sounds so mysterious and the discovery of the 3rd tunnel would totally freak me out if I'm a Seoulite. Its only a freaking 52km away from Seoul and the North Koreans could have infiltrated Seoul within...say hours? Don't know... just...a very interesting experience.

After which, Esther went back and I visited the Leeum Samsung Museum of Art. Love it. The kinda art I like. But it was a waste cause I only spent say...30minutes there cause I'd to meet Grace. Rushed off to Jamsil station and met Grace in Lotte World. Ermz...it was very expensive because we only sat 3 freaking rides. We had to queue for an hour for each ride and it was really...quite...dull.

Headed back to Hyehwa station, which is near our hostel and caught a Korean movie with no subtitles at 12am. As usual, I fell asleep because I was really...dead tired. Reached the hostel at 3am and I collapsed on the bed.

Day 3
Visited Chengdeokgung (palace) which was really nice! They filmed 'Jewel in the palace (Da Chang Jing)' there I think. It was a guided tour through the secret garden. Grace, Esther, Didia (A French guy whose name I can't really remember)and I headed to the war memorial museum but it was kinda late to go in so we just walked around there. It was not too bad, there were quite a number of exhibits.

Next, we went to COEX mall, an underground mall which was overated. Shopped around and headed back to Hyehwa.

Day 4
Woke up early in the morning and took a sub down to the bus terminal. Took a bus down to Daegu, which was around 3 hours South of Seoul. It was.... ermz... odd to me. Because its sooo different from Seoul. Took quite a long time to find for the hostel we wanted to settle down in. The hostel was quite heavenly as compared to Golden Pond (Seoul). We had the bathroom and room all to ourselves. Ermz, but it looks like a love motel with dull lightings, pink furnishing and porno tapes along the corridors. But other than that, it was not too bad because we even had a TV in our room!!!!

Spent the rest of the afternoon exploring Daegu and settled down in a nice lil cafe for the rest of the night.

Day 5
Woke up early (again!!!) and took a bus to Haeinsa temple, up in the mountains. The temple was made famous as the home of the Tripitaka, one of the National Treasures of Korea. More than 80,000 wooden scripture blocks were carved in the 14th century by Buddhist monks, after the Mongols had destroyed an earlier set carved in the 13th century. Its very quiet and serene there and thats what I like bout it.

Headed back to Daegu in the evening and as usual, settled down in a nice cafe and spent the rest of the night there.

Day 6
Took a bus further down South to Gyeongju and visited TImuli Park, Anapi pond etc etc and the place looks very surreal! Its the oldest town in Korea and its really...old. Alright, at this point, I must say I'm very tired of typing with this tiny laptop of mind. ARGH! Ok, thats besides the point. ANyway, in short, the place is filled with huge tombs of the Shilla era. And to cut everything shorter, we explored further and spent the rest of the night walking around and sitting in cafes.

Day 7
Returned to Seoul and we headed our seperate ways from then on. I went down to the Chongeakchong (spelt something like that) river and saw the lightings, walked to Insadong, walked round and round and realized I was back at the river after 3 hours. Continued to walk and reached Myeongdong and ate street food every hour. Thats where all my money went to). Coincidentally met Grace on the streets of Myeongdong and took the sub back to Golden Pond, put down our stuff and went for coffee.

Day 8
Grace left for Singapore at 5am and I spent the earlier part of the day exploring more of Seoul. Went to Kyobo bookstore and left all my money there. Randomly walked and visited Dongdaemun, walked along the streets and walked passed Hongik and back to Hyehwa which was really kinda far. Stopped by some random museum and explored a lil more before going back to Golden Pond, packed my luggages and bid farewell to our hosts. Dragged the luggages to the subway station and met Esther there. To my horror, she had a huge box of chocolates with her and both of us dragged/carried our stuff down and up the staircases, squeezed with everyone in the trains.. got real pissed by the Koreans cause they were so rude and pushed us left right left. arggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh We figured out no one would undertsand if we start splurting vulgarities at them since they don't know english so to vent our anger we started to do so. ahhahahahah and they probably think that we were just talking among ourselves.

Finally, we reached Esther's hostel and Meiping and her Taiwanese friend, Tim was there. They went to Jonggak but both Esther and I had been there before so we walked around the streets near her uni. Bought a tub of baskin robbins and they bought Tiramisu cake and we had a lil christmas celebration later at night.

Day 9
Slept for a couple of hours and got up at 5am to catch the airport bus. It was bloody cold and Esther walked me out to the bus station.Reached Incheon airport at around 7am and obviously, took a flight back, transiting at Beijing for 5 freaking hours which was painful. I was so darn sleepy but can't just randomly sleep and I didn't kno what to do in the airport. But at last, I couldn't stand it, I just sat at a corner and hugged my bag to sleep. And my flight was delayed for round 2 hours. So I waited for...SEVEN FREAKING HOURS!!!! argh. China airlines was...boring. No entertainment system and I either just stared at the ceiling or sleep.

And...finally, I'm back in SINGAPORE!!!!!
Ok, I've yet to upload any photos cause my miniature laptop is really giving me problems and the internet connection here ain't fantastic. So, later!

south korea

Finally, I am back in vibrant Seoul. (Daegu and Gyeongju seems as though they have been left out in all types of advancements in the world).

I reckon this is a trip which really really exposed me to very very extremely different places/things/food/people. Although I felt very uncomfortable (I still feel a lil surreal now)I guess I've learnt a pretty substantial amount.

My idea and my parents idea of the trip was traveling and sticking together but it didn't exactly turned out the way I'd expected. The hostels we stayed were substandard and the one in Gyeongju was...really...one of a kind.

There were many occasions which made me kinda...speechless. Like...ermz.............

Ok am I making this sound bad? Its not that bad its just that I found it odd because its very different from the trips I've been to. But it pushed me out to learn more, do things which I wouldn't do given a choice, realized that traveling alone is really no big deal and that Huiling should grow up now.

I knew these all along:
1) Everyone is different
2) Huiling shouldn't think so much
3) Huiling is not very street smart
4) There are all kinda people out there

But I realized these during this trip:
1) Everyone is SO different - They think I am weird and I think they are odd. We cringe at each other's perspectives and can never deceipher nor understand what the opposite side is thinking.
2) Huiling really should STOP thinking so much and lead life as it is.
3) Huiling should learn how to read maps and have a better sense of direction. She would stop relying on random people on the streets for directions because due to that, she reached the same spot after 3hours of walking.
4) Really, there are really ALL TYPES of people out there. Although I know it, I still wonder how they lead that kinda life (city girl's point of view) and they probably be wondering how I lead my life

In short, this trip is kinda a realization trip. Not really fun per se (considering the odd places we visted, the dodgy hostels and buses we took) but its kinda the first time I traveled alone for a day or 2 in a foreign country without knowing their language and just randomly walking around.

Although I felt a lil demoralized and frustrated at times, I reckon I've a lot to improve on and....
Open-mindedness is really the crux of backpacking.
I must say that I haven't reached that level of open-mindedness and still cringed at the thought of traveling alone and being very hesitant about many stuff. But oh wells, I hope my next trip would be a better one after this experience. I thought I was relatively well prepared but apparently not.

My cracked heels, cold sore on my lips etc really spoilt a large part of the trip and me dwelling on certain things did in fact make the trip less enjoyable.

But after this experience, I realized that really, the world ain't small. Don't wonder so much bout how people lead their lives, what they eat, what they wear etc. Just know that they are very different and none is superior than the other. I guess I should stop living in my own small lil world and be more receptive bout other stuff. And...I should stop being so paranoid traveling alone. Its not that dangerous as it sounds.

So Huiling! Pack up your past into a small lil box and chuck it into the corner under your bed. There is a whole new world out there for you to explore! You have no time dwelling in your past and being so caught up bout you and your random senseless thoughts! Remember that!

updates in korea

this is my 3rd day in seoul and all i can say is that............
i'm really so freaking tired and drained.
its quite frustrating at times when things don't work out and the language barrier can be really a pain.

its thrilling but very draining. the weather is cold and very dry here and my heels have been cracking in an unprecedented rate and my skin is peeling. it makes walking tough and makes me a lil moody plus the lack of sleep and difficulty in communicating.

grace is sick and i'm very annoyed with my cracked heels and peeling skin. hope things would get better.

on a lighter note, it was pretty interesting traveling free and easy, kinda feel as if you are really living in the country as a resident not just a tourist. I'm only here for 3 days but I feel as if its been ages cause we've been traveling from morning till night with all the koreans, such that i feel that we are kinda a part of them.

its actually not as intimidating as i thought it would be. Went to several places alone, went to the night market at 1130pm alone, and its not as scary as i thought it would be. although i don't know the language, i reckon they kinda understand my actions.

well, we're leaving seoul tomorrow and heading down to gwangsangbuk. hopefully everything would be fine.

KOREA

ok i'm in the airport now and leaving for seoul transiting in beijing very soon.
i just wanna say that i'm so freaking nervous and scared now cause there are so many uncertainties and stupid grac'es phone is spoilt.

screams my head off.

first time doing this and i hope everything goes well. ok damnit i realized i forgot something. good luck huiling!!!!!!

Brief updates

Really no time to update so I’ll summarize everything so I can look back when I’m in NZ.
6th Nov – Arrived Singapore
7th Nov – Met Jo at Vivo
8th Nov – Met WeiQi at Suntec, traveled to Malaysia in the evening
9th Nov – Malaysia – KLCC, Sungei Wang
10th Nov – Malaysia – Sunway, traveled back to Singapore in the evening
11th Nov – Met Xiulu at HK café, Heartland Mall, Jo at Suntec, The Rock, Shawn, Spencer, Hendric at AMK
12th Nov – Spencer and Hendric at Chinatown to get air tickets, Suntec Lions for lambs movie
13th Nov – GuiXian and Benice at Wheelock place, Big O for lunch
14th Nov – Arrived Hong Kong
15th Nov – Cosmopro Exhibition at Hong Kong Exhibition and Conventional Centre, Nu Ren Jie, Hong Kong Island
16th Nov – Tsim Sha Chui, Hong Kong History Museum, Star Arena, Nu Ren Jie
17th Nov – Disney Land
18th Nov – Disney Land, Returned to Singapore
19th Nov – New Zealand High Comm, Takashimaya, met Jo at NUS, parents at Novena
20th Nov – Started work – Sub court in the morning, lunch with clients, meeting with clients, met Laine, Sam, Juan, Joseph, Hendric at Hougang Mall, Café Cartel
21st Nov – Work – research on market rigging case, met Grace at NYDC Wheelock, Starbucks
22nd Nov – Work – research on en bloc case, coincidentally met Chin Hao, parents at Novena
23rd Nov – Work – research on PR and EP, went HSBC to run an errand, met Shiling and ChinHao for dinner at Junction 8, Braddell Macs, parents at Novena
24th Nov – Applied for new passport at ICA, Bugis, Plaza Singapura
25th Nov – Met Jo for brunch at the usual place, Jo’s house
26th Nov – Work – Sub court with Mr Fong and Adrian, morning session and afternoon session, 9am-12pm, break, 2:30pm-4:30pm, office, met Grace at Citylink, Thai Express, Gloria Jeans, Raffles City, met her friend at Cathay Cine, met Esther, Esther’s house, reached home at 1plus am
27th Nov – Reached office early to go to sub court with Adrian to negotiate dates of trials, office, met Shing, Shiqi, Hendric, Edmund at City Hall MRT

Whats the matter with you?

Its 550am now and I just settled down in my room. I was too darn tired when I came back just now and dozed off on the sofa downstairs. When I woke up it was already 5am and I was still in my office wear with all the make-up on and it felt utterly disgusting and dirty! Anyway obviously I went to take a bath and whilst doing that I recalled a series of events which happened recently – and that really pissed me off.

NZ High Comm
The other day I was at the NZ high comm. settling some of my passport-PR issues. As I was waiting for my turn, this middle aged guy was asking the receptionist (Singaporean) about which form he should get if he was to go for some medical check-up. His English wasn’t that fluent and he wasn’t that clear in what he was trying to ask. But that’s totally not his fault right? Unless you want to argue with me that it is because he didn’t study hard when he was young – and I would roll my eyes at you.

Ok anyway, I reckon he was a lil intimidated in that office because its some foreign country’s high comm.. The dumbass receptionist, being more fluent in her English, snapped at him whenever she had a chance to do so. I was so bloody pissed by her I so wanted to tell her off. The guy was like, ‘ Er…I want to get that form… to apply…’ And she would shoot a question at him with her impatient tone and that don’t-waste-my-time-I’m-more-superior-to-you kinda attitude. That poor guy just stammered because he didn’t really know what he should do and in face with that arrogant receptionist. I mean, its totally not his fault to not know what he should do because if he did, he wouldn’t be there or rather, he would be working for them. And that conceited receptionist is paid to work there to help these kinda people. I don’t get her – why the hell is she showing this kinda attitude as if she is some big-shot VIP when she is just a darn receptionist. Ok, I get it – your job is important, your job is highly regarded. But your freaking job is to help these kinda people you snobbish brat! That guy was just totally thrown into quite an embarrassing spot because she was talking quite loudly so everyone waiting in the office could hear. She made him sound as if he is stupid but I reckon she is the stupid one to think that she is more superior to him just because…she is a receptionist of the high comm.? Or maybe because her English is better? What crap! He may be some freaking millionaire whose 100times fluent in mandarin than she is in English.

I really wanted to tell her off so I sat there thinking what I was going to say when it was my turn. But the receptionist changed soon after. Argh! She got away with it too easily! She made me so disgusted by her. And I still don’t get it. What is that which can make her so arrogant about? Because she is working in a foreign western country’s high comm.? Roll my eyes!

HSBC staff
I was running some errands today so I had to make a trip down to HSBC. I was at the commercial banking level and security was quite tight. You need an access card to get into the office so if you ain’t a staff, you need to use the intercom to contact the person in the office you’re looking for. That’s quite usual but the extension numbers of the staffs printed on the paper were exceptionally small. Even I found it a lil difficult to read. So as I was waiting for the documents outside, this man probably in his late 50s came along and wanted to pass some documents to the staff inside. Obviously he can’t see the extension numbers printed on the paper. I reckon he wasn’t very sure whom he was supposed to find too. So he asked the staff who was walking into the office at that time. That young girl gave that indifferent attitude and said, ‘ go and look at the paper.’ The guy replied, ‘so small la, I cannot see.’ AND GUESS WHAT THAT YOUNG STUCK-UP GIRL SAID!!!!!

‘Then I cannot help you.’
……………………………………………………………………………
WHAT YOU MEAN YOU CANNOT HELP HIM!
Like that also need to teach?!?! She can help him by:
1) Just freaking tell him who he was supposed to find
2) Just call out to the person he was supposed to find
3) Just look at the printed paper and tell him the extension number to dial
4) Or just refer him to someone else who can help if she really is rushing for time, which doesn’t seem apparent at all
Was she really that dumb that she don’t know how to help him or she just didn’t want to? Obviously she didn’t want to. The thing is, the paper was just less than 1metre from her – she was standing next to it.

The guy was totally pissed but walked into the office without the access card since it wasn’t fully closed yet after that girl went in. I reckon he would get his stuff done once he get inside but WRONG! We took the same lift down and he was complaining to another person and I gathered that when he was inside, he asked another guy to help him and that guy asked him to go out and look at the extension numbers. Damnit, are you all that busy that you can’t even spend a couple of minutes for that old man. I’m sure you ain’t when all that I can see is people idling around. I mean there are some nice souls around because when I went up and kinda got lost, a staff directed me where to go and what to do and even went into the office and notify the person I was finding. But there were just a few stupid asses who that unfortunate man met. At last he didn’t get his stuff done and went back. Bloody shit I should just have just helped him find the person he was looking for. I kinda feel that people in that area are superficial. I mean, duh everyone is superficial. Haha ok, I don’t really make sense but yeah, basically working society is like that and I shouldn’t be too worked up bout it. But I reckon I really didn’t do my part in telling them off.

Its no doubt common that you meet up with such scenarios everyday but it doesn’t mean that it is right if it is common. Precisely it is rude and unbearable and worse still, normal, we should kinda do something bout it. But I reckon I don’t really have the guts and I must admit I don’t know how to handle such situations. And that pisses me off even more because sometimes, certain people just deserve to be told off and I didn’t do it because I’m just too slow in acting or don’t know how should I go bout doing it, which makes me feel like I’m one of those unhelpful people. I haven’t really met anyone being directly rude to me since I’ve started working. But I realized maybe there a lil factors to it. I was dressed in black and white formal wear when I was running some random errands – because I was supposed to be in that attire just in case I’ve to go to court. It makes me look as if I’m on some serious business or as if I’m some high-flyer which is obviously not the case – I’m just an unpaid intern. That old man was dressed in a less formal attire and was all sweaty from running errands but he is probably way experienced than me, earning obviously more than me, doing something more important than me. But just because I look as if I am some professional they gave me a lil more weight to me because they can only judge by appearance. Yeah, I think its inevitable that people do judge by appearance – I do too. You try not, but its kinda difficult in my opinion. But to render such attitude to anyone is just intolerable.

There are more occasions which pissed me off but I reckon this post is getting way too long so I’ll just end here by saying, I love my lifestyle now! Haha that’s random but I feel that I’ve been learning so much these few days from the internship although it may get very boring and tiring at times, I’m still enjoying it. Only if there are interns around my age in my dept, it would be great, cause currently my colleagues are way older than me and what do we talk about? Cooking, maids, work etc. I feel as if I’m getting a lil old as well. But its all good for now – work, learn, meet up with friends after work, home, a lil work, get real exhausted and sleep all the way through till the next day and everything repeats again. Although it sounds like a routine, it doesn’t feel like it because there are different cases everyday, learn different things, meet different friends… totally enjoying it such that I don’t wanna study anymore haha.

Singaporean's identity?

2 years ago, I was known to be a late-comer.
Late for school, late for meetings, late for classes - and thats no big deal.
I mean, everyone's late as well, so basically we don't really wait for one another but meet around the same time, just that its probably half to an hour after the actual meeting time we set.

Only a couple who would 'rigidly' stick to the actual timing set. Those are usually the ones who 'still don't get our culture'. Don't you get it? After staying here for so long?
'Meet at 3pm' means 'I'll see you around 3.30pm'
'I'm coming' means 'I'm just got up from bed'
'I'm on my way' means 'I'm walking to the bus stop'
'10 minutes more' means '10 minutes after you read the text'
'Reaching soon!' means I just go on the bus'
and when everything fails...
'The bus just don't seem to come' means 'Don't blame me. Not my fault.'

If you are early, you are deemed to be a cukoo. Not praised but laughed at. So whats the point of reaching so early when you know everyone is going to be late and you would probably be laughed at your ineptness in understanding the unwritten rule. Or rather, our culture.

Being brought up with such a 'exclusive' culture, I felt that it was pretty difficult to stomach that sense of punctuality when I was in NZ. Not that they are always punctual but they are not as late as we are. Gradually I trained (yes, it was a chore, probably to others its natural) to reach 5 minutes before the meeting time.

And coming back made me feel that Singaporeans should REALLY correct that bad habit of theirs. I've met up with a couple of friends and I was waiting most of the time. Waiting for a couple of minutes wouldn't be a problem but waiting for more than 15minutes in this insanely hot and humid place can be a pain. I realized that I'm in Singapore and its usual to wait so I waited and tried not to hurry the other person who is 'on my way there'. But this should not be our culture. This should not be our identity.

I reckon you are telling me that your time is more important than mine thats why you are late? There can be all kinds of reasons or rather excuses why people can be late:
Miss the bus.
Woke up late.
Rushing for work.
MRT too packed.
And the list goes on.

But do you know what is the root cause? I mean of course there are certain genuine reasons but I don't think there are that many to justify your late coming every single meeting.

I reckon the root cause is that you value your time more than others and that means we are just selfish.
If you genuinely want to be punctual, you can. You will sleep earlier to wake up earlier. You will wake up earlier to catch the earlier bus. You will do everything to make sure that you will be punctual. If you are dating a dashing guy or a glamour girl for the first time at 5pm. You probably get yourself prepared the night before, be at the meeting place at least 5 minutes before, prim and proper not sweaty from running. Its really up to you and how much more you value your time over others.

Alright, but lets say if you really are still late, apologize to the person who is waiting. Thats the least bit of courtesy and respect you can show to that person. Don't just say 'hey', 'lets go' kinda thing as if she/he is expected to wait for you.

I reckon thats not a culture we want to perpetuate. I'm still a Singaporean. That bad habit is still within me I must admit, but at least, try to change a lil.

Back!... Not so soon actually.

I am or rather, was finally back in Singapore. But just after a full day loitering round town...I left Singapore to Malaysia. -.- And I've to go to Hong Kong next week. By the time I get back, I've to start work. After work, I will (hopefully) get to go Japan/Korea. Then back to NZ. When my dad called and told me he booked the bus tickets to Msia... I was like...#@$%^&*() I DON'T WANT! I was in Singapore for less than 24hours and you tell me I need to go Msia the next day?! Damnit. I was so pissed. And thats not all. I've to go Hong Kong this coming week. ARGH! ROLL MY EYES! I haven't ate what I'm supposed to eat, I haven't met people who I'm supposed to meet, I haven't unpacked my luggage, I haven't rotted, I haven't watched local TV. So freaking frustrated - everything is so controlled once I landed in Singapore. Do this, do that. Or maybe I was really in control of my time in NZ - I do whatever I want at any time I like. I feel as though I haven't been online for ages cause there ain't internet at home. I'm in Msia now rotting away. Its so hot...do you know that? When I came out of the plane, I thought the air-conditional was spoilt but apparently not. I reckon its not the heat which frustrates me but the humidity. Sticky, sweaty and dirty. But nevermind, I'll get used to it very soon - since I've spent 18 years of my life here.

Anyway, coming back feels a lil weird and I'm practically going on a food binge everyday. Ate noodles in the morning, bought heaps of finger food in the afternoon, went for dinner and realized the serving was so small, bought some more finger food, still couldn't satisfy my hunger, reached home, decided to go for supper, ate a lot again. I met wq for lunch at Fish and Co and I ordered peri peri fish with extra rice (which was quite a lot). Finished it and even helped wq to finish hers. But the food monster came alive in me and I didn't even feel full. But I reckon I should stop eating because I still wanted to eat sushi. Wq said I should stop eating, but not because I wanna eat sushi but because I've been eating too much. Haha! My a 100% Asian just with a Westerner's appetite. So I bought sushi and I saw Bangawan Solo.. and I saw egg tart...and I saw gluteneous rice...and some sweet stuff so I bought all. I told myself its alright since that is my dinner but..wrong. The bus provided dinner so I ate. We reached Msia round 9 plus and my Grandmom cooked dinner. Who can resist her cooking? No one. If no one can resist it, obviously I can't. And obviously I'll eat more than my own good, and I did. Damnit. I will exercise my ass off once I reached home.

Oh anyway, 5th Nov was Guy Fawks Night. I think it was really an awesome night which was a good end to the semester and a nice 'farewell' to NZ. Guy Fawkes Night is an annual celebration on the evening of the 5th of November. It celebrates the foiling of the Gunpowder Plot of the 5th of November 1605 in which a number of Roman Catholic conspirators, including Guy Fawkes, attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament.In New Zealand, the retail sale of personal use fireworks is permitted to those 18 and older, and may now only be sold on the 4 days leading to Guy Fawkes Night. So we went down to Domain and put off fireworks. It was real cool cause there were so many people there putting theirs off too. It feels as though it was National Day in Singapore - just that that went on for a several hours.
We bought a huge box of fireworks and had this finale - everyone lighted one at the same time and it was a real spectacular scene - just that it was kinda dangerous. Some fireworks went crazy and shot sidewards instead of upwards and nearly shot my friend. But it was good fun. Well.. yay! No more exams, no more housework, no more dishes but more naggings.

Parents

I was running some errands just now when I suddenly remembered this incident when I was really young..probably when I was in lower primary.

I was real pissed with my parents for some reasons which I can't remember and decided that that I don't need them to survive. (At the age of 7? Yeah right.) I thought that by paying them everything they've spent on me, I'll be free. So, I started calculating how much I must pay them back to gain my freedom (haha). I remembered trying to estimate the costs of the furnitures in my room, trying to remember what they've bought for me, how much money I've used from them. Up till one point, I decided that its impossible to calculate how much was spent on me and the amount was becoming too large for a young 7 year old to calculate - so I gave up and decided that I should just continue living under their shelter.

Haha its funny how we think when we were young but I never understood that point for the following years of my life. Till recently, I understood that..yeah, its really impossible for us - kids to pay back. So much have been invested on us, not just money but time, effort etc etc - you get what I mean. But I reckon they never really expect much from us in return - just to be a happy kid, a useful person, a filial child. Whether we earn big bucks in the future is just secondary.

My mom always remind me to buy her a LV bag and give her heaps of allowance for shopping when I start working. I hear the joy in my dad's voice when he talks to me about my future - he thinks I can earn a comfortable sum for both of them to splurge. It seems as though they are expecting lotsa monetary returns from me. But during the exams period, my mom would start asking me to drop law and not make life so difficult for myself. My dad would tell me that I don't need to do that well - a pass is enough. Both advices are those which will threaten their monetary returns from me. So I reckon that is really secondary and all they want is to see their kids leading a comfortable and happy life. Maybe we shouldn't be too obsessed with the notion of paying back to our parents (in terms of money). After all, that is not their priority when they decided to have us.

I was so determined today to run to mission bay. I rushed out of the examination hall, walked briskly home, threw my bag aside, got changed and started running from foodtown. Weather was good and I was feeling good as well - My exams have ended!

So I ran....view was fantastic:

I was really very determined to reach mission bay...but....my phone vibrated when I was half way there: Meet us at the green container restaurant at 630 ok?
I reckon dinner sounds more tempting.
So
I
decided
to...
head back to city.
Attempt failed again.
I'm really a tuiji.

But! I met a new Japanese friend called Kyoko during dinner. But! What a waste she won't be going back to Japan at the end of the year...or else...I can meet her there.

They came over to my place for awhile after dinner and played truth or dare. I got a dare. And its utterly stupid. We're heading down to Dressmart on Monday and I am supposed to talk to the bus driver throughout the whole trip (Thats freaking close to an hour). I refused and at last they lowered their standards to 10 minutes. But 10 minutes is still considered long! I think I may just forgo the trip. How and what am I gonna talk to the bus driver? He would think I'm mad - stupid asian keeps talking to me.

Harry Elias Partnership

Yayyyyy I got an internship! http://www.harryelias.com.sg/
Haha! freakin lucky!

Bye Public, Bye Crim.

Public Law is finally over. And...it was atrocious. I was confounded by the questions.

Especially this - 'Ms Austen has heard that if Oceanic is successful in a further appeal to the Court of Appeal and the takeover is approved, then Island Air intends to lobby Parliament to pass legislation prohibiting foreign ownership of domestic airlines. What constitutional law concerns might this give rise to?'
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
This is really a test of...my creative writing. I bullshitted my way through.

And the most dissatisfactory question answered...was this question which seems as though its trying to test us on our math:
Assume that the 2008 general election results in the following distribution of seats in the House of Representatives:
ACT 7
Green 10
Labour 44
National 46
NZ First 6
Maori 7
Total 120

yawns.

And so the Green Party retaliated after 3 months blah blah blah and the PM approaches the Governor General with advice that another general election should be held as soon as possible. Advise the GG as to how he should respond.

Double yawns - I only could crap out 2 pages of advice for a 25mark question. Damnit.
Snorts - I'm an ignorant brat. I don't know what to advise the GG.

The 3hour paper felt as if it was a 6hour paper..the last hour was painful. Although I didn't have enough time to complete the paper, I was hoping to hear the examiner saying 'Stop writing' because, I was just sick of writing and I was so darn distracted by what happened last night.

Yeah, I could have done better in this paper but I reckon my prep work wasn't that fantastic and I was way too distracted by too many things recently. Hah. My friend even dropped by my place in the evening. Hah. I'm on my way to getting mediocre or rather, inferior grades.

Its kinda my self-declared holiday now because I'm over all my law papers and accounting. So I'm left with History which is a gened so its not particularly important. Skipped a substantial number of lectures and tutorials, with extensive materials to read from the period of 1400s to 2007, involving most countries - I'm pretty screwed. Hah. I've only a day to cover all of that crap. But I've lost all motivation and drive to study or even get started. I stayed out the whole day walking round aimlessly. Man... I need something to spur me on.

Oh, I came across my crim test paper while filing some of my stuff just now. I think this is the most ridiculous test I've ever took! (I remembered everyone laughing when they were reading the case)

Horace Rumpole, a barrister sole of Meadowbank, was becoming increasingly bored of a parade of poorly-paying criminal cases, most of which ended with the conviction and imprisonment of his clients. His wife, Rosemary, was disappointed as her husband's prospects of becoming a judge disappeared. Naturally, as a married couple, they misunderstood each other completely. Rosemary believed that Horace was drinking too much, and deeded to find a judicial position to prevent his descent to alcoholism. Horace thought that Rosemary was overdosing on hormone replacement therapy, and was showing signs of becoming suicidal. When Rosemary announced that Horace was required to get himself a judicial position 'and this time she really meant it', Horace decided that desperate measures were needed. -.-

Believing that it was the only way to protect Rosemary from self-harming, Horace decided that he needed to create a number of simultaneous openings on the District Court bench so as to improve his chances of getting a judicial post. When he was next in his local pharmacy, having distracted the pharmacist, he stole 20 doses of a medication he knew would cause psychotic symptoms if ingested by a healthy adult. He then engineered to attend a function at the Law School where he knew that a number of District Judges would be in attendance. Whilst the audience was listening to the Dean tell his small collection of anecdotes before the food and drink was served, Horace emptied his stolen medication into the wine glasses which were on the table.

The doctored wine was indeed drunk by several judges, as well as by other attendees. including a visiting French academic, Richard Grand-Bois. Various of the judges began to exhibit psychotic symptoms and several had epileptic fits: one, Judge Ballard, immediately began to run around the room feeling the breasts of every man or woman present. Grand-Bois looked across to Horace and saw him as a dragon; believing that this monster was about to attack the Dean, whom he held in great esteem, Grand Bois broke a bottle and charged towards Horace with the jagged edge, shouting 'For God, France and Aotearoa.'

Rosemary, arriving late at the function, saw a maniac Frenchman charging towards her husband with a broken bottle. Almost on reflex, her days as the prop forward for the Takapuna Ladies Rugby Team (-.-) came back to her and she rushed forward to protect her Horace. Grand-Bois was met with a more than equal force and hurled back towards the window and onto the balcony outside, Rosemary landing on top of them: the net effect was that Grand-Bois and the 3 bystanders each suffered broken ribs and deep wounds from broken glass.

You are asked to advise the prosecution on the defences which are likely to be raised by each of the defendants and their prospects of success.

Oh man... this case scenario is just so... dramatic and ridiculous.

Anyways, I just wanna end of saying - I'm so glad everything is over for Crim and Public. I will never see the above questions again. Never ever. As much as I've enjoyed certain lectures, I'm not gonna do anything related to these 2 papers again.

On holiday

Those wanton ang mohs!

I was walking along crowded Queen Street towards GJ (to study of course) and lamenting on the fact that I can’t be like the people hanging around town with no exact purpose. Then there was this tall, strong-built, good looking ang moh walking towards me. He smiled so I smiled back and SUDDENLY, he collapsed abruptly and rolled right in front of me. There was this loud thud and I froze for a moment. (The phrase ‘sane automatism’ from crim randomly popped up in my mind at that moment) I panicked a lil and I wanted to ask him if he was alright and when I was about to bend down and help him up I saw him…SMILING. I was confused and I realized…it was a darn prank. He got up himself and I was so angry I walked away. After a few steps, I saw his friend at a corner next to a tree holding a camera filming the whole thing. WTH! And he was there chuckling.
......................................

Although its the exams period, I feel like I'm on a holiday. Hah! Maybe because Crim and Accounting papers are over and done with! Lalala Public is on Thursday, and despite Crim ended on Friday, I haven't really started. Even the exchange students seem to be more hardworking than me. Yesterday, we went for dinner and then to the Hobsoners' place till 1 plus am. Needless to say, not much work done. Today, met G at GJ, and coincidentally K was there as well. Haha work completed - 10%. Haha. Haha. I don't know why, but I'm just so happy and high today I cannot keep still. Laughed till dinner, laughed till dinner ended and headed to Esquires (another cafe) to continue studying. Not that productive too.

Just settled down at home and its already...1AM! Damnit, ok I feel a lil of the stress coming in. But well, the thought that the exams are gonna be over in just a few more days....just makes me so...high high high!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh! I learned a new phrase today! Calibrated oppression to describe XXXXXXXXX's XXXXXXXXXX. So so so so tempted to do a politics paper next sem.

Randomly random

And they said I was random…but let me tell you what is true randomness…

I had cost and management accounting exam this morning and my friend was supposed to wake me up in the morning and I was supposed to wake my other friend up. My friend texted me at 7plus am but I just continued sleeping… and at 8am I jolted up…not because I was late but because I saw this text: Huiling, I decided not to go Wellington anymore. Haha.

……………………………………….

That crazy ass is nothing but crazy! She booked and paid for her bus tickets to Wellington then to Taupo – a week long trip and she was supposed to leave this morning but she randomly decided to give up on the whole trip! Hahahaha I thought she missed her bus or something but no! She even walked to the bus stop, waited for the bus and decided she don’t wanna do it and just went back to sleep! How random is that?! Total waste of money! But I guess she made her statement – only do what you like to do. Anyways, in Econs, those are sunk costs and should not affect your decision.

And she cancelled her flight to Japan and decided to go to Korea. Utterly random.

The exam didn’t go too well, I thought it was rather funny because I was kinda unprepared. I spent so much at GJ yesterday my card got declined on my last purchase. Haha. Haha the eftpos machine probably got tired of scanning my card for the past weeks. I went home at round 10pm and had dinner, friend called to ask a few questions and I started to panic when I didn’t know how to answer. At last I decided that staying up would be useless so I went to bed.

When I came out from the exam hall, I met Nat and she said she was about to cry when she was doing the paper. I said I was about to laugh when I was doing – Haha I’m so totally screwed. So screwed that I can only laugh at my incorrigible state. I mean, no doubt I was very stress the past few days – I studied for Crim till I was closed to tears. G showed me this video on youtube and instead of being stressed to tears, I laughed till I teared.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xDFlU3Sx6Y&mode=related&search
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCGL6Af3EXQ&mode=related&search=

Initially I didn’t really understand and when I watched it again… I thought it was damn funny!!!!!!!!

I planned to get a short nap before starting my revision on crim which is TOMORROW (with 100cases not memorized yet – zzzzz) but less than 15min sleeping my blarrdddyyy phone rang and YC was at GJ already so I dragged myself to my 2nd home. And I am here now typing this – I can’t memorize any cases any more!

Oh yeah, another random thing. I received a letter which was ripped opened by the Ministry of Agriculture…AGAIN. And in it, is the oh-so-familiar Notice of Detainment. This is the 2nd time I’m getting a detainment letter (for BBQ pork) and 4th time my letter being inspected (with the ‘inspected’ sticker).
Omg, I think I’m going to be top of their suspicious persons. One day, I will stop receiving detainment letters. But instead, I’ll get this:

NOTICE OF WARNING
Dear Ms Huiling Chen,
Please stop asking your friends from SINGAPORE to send you BBQ pork. You might as well ask them to send you a pig. You ought not to eat so much anyways. If this happens again, we will bar all your letters from Singapore.
Regards,
XXX

Haha. Noooo please don’t stop sending me stuff! Haha.

Haha ha ha ha ha Crim would be over and done with tomorrow! Yes! Oh no! I haven’t memorized my cases! Ha ha ha. Never mind, I always rely on my loser-statement when I’m unprepared – Everything is fated.

goddamnit I'm back again...
Cause... I'm so stress I don't know where to start any more.. 4 more days left to the exams and I'm really not prepared. Yune called me so many times and texted me a 4pg text to ask for my notes. She is making me awfully stress. I didn't pick her calls up initially because I haven't done my notes but she kept calling and texting the whole day I finally answered. I was...really frustrated because I explained to her so many times that its not that I don't wanna sell them to her, its because I haven't done them! And I can't do them if I haven't finish studying! But she kept going on and on no matter how many times I tried explaining to her that I HAVEN'T FINISH THEM AND ITS NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE THEM TO YOU, I JUST CAN"T FINISH THEM!!!!! Ah! She is 1 'customer' who I really regret selling my notes to! At last, I said I try to do it by Tuesday (which I really doubt so) she said - Ok! See you on Wednesday -.- She still don't get it - I said I try! Not as if I can! I am in a real screwed up position now and I can't even salvage my own situation.. she really ought not to rely too much on me for answers...which probably be crappy ones!

I guess this sem's exams would be really bad. So bad that I don't know what to do. So bad that I decided to just go out for a drink. Dad's friends are here and they brought me out for lunch with their son who is studying in AU as well. Although I was really apprehensive initially because I'm afraid of awkward silences - I don't know what to talk to Uncle and Aunty. But thank god Uncle, Aunty and Victor are all real friendly people and, its a blissful feeling with older people. Haha well because I haven't seen or talked to my parents for quite some time (they are in China) so I kinda feel happy seeing Uncle and Aunty. I remembered my parents are always so super understanding during my exams - I don't need to do any housework, I can throw tantrums like nobody's business and they will let me be, they will fetch me even if its inconvenient for them blah blah blah. Of course, I don't have such luxuries here but I guess I'm still a lucky girl. They treated me to the best meal I ever had since don't-know-how-long and I feel as if I was with my parents - You always get good food with grown-ups! In return, I gave them a bottle Chardonnay.

Although that made my day, the stress I felt once lunch ended was 100xs more than yesterday. I headed down to SB walking in this awkward manner (because of the horrendous run yesterday) and mugged like mad and rushed to hulucat to meet C for a drink.

Oh yeah, my attempted run to mission bay was a failure (as the word 'attempted' already suggests). I didn't exactly reach mission bay because the weather was so bad. I only managed to reach Orakei Bay, which was such a waste because it was rather near Kelly Tarlton already!

But the weather was so bad I knew I had to turn back else I'll be in deep trouble. I was just damn unlucky - I knew it was going to rain but undaunted by that, I decided I was going to run no matter what! And so I did - and thinking that its Spring, it wouldn't be that cold so I wore shorts. But WRONG! It was freezing, I started having runny nose after awhile, stomachache during the run -.- The view was fantastic though - absolutely picturesque. My plans were foiled when I saw the dark clouds looming over mission bay ahead and the wind was so damn strong I felt that no matter how hard I ran, I was still on the same spot. Although I was dead tired I couldn't stop and rest because it was just too cold - I didn't bring my handphone out so I can't call for help either. So I cursed under my breadth throughout the run back.

When I saw the city, I was so damn relieved - thank god I didn't get caught in the rain. Never mind, will try another time.

Man... I feel so damn stress.. I can't believe my friends are actually traveling in Rotorua now - its the studying break not holidaying break! K, I ought not to complain so much. I guess everyone is feeling the same. So well... good luck.

Nope, this is not about Japan

I'm so productive... not studying but blogging!
Yuck.. I'm so totally wasting every bit of my negative amount of time left, all because I don't wanna start working on my exams.

Blogging is like a time-sucker: you feel as if you're doing something productive (i.e. doing serious reflections) but actually you're just wasting time on typing frivolous stuff which has no contributions to anyone's life! Thats for me. Does blogging make me any smarter or help in my exams? No. Does my blog affect you in any ways? No. So why the hell I'm blogging? Because I just feel like wasting time. Ha ha.

Today's the last day of lects for the semester! I feel totally liberated after my last public lect ended and I rushed down to............GLORIA JEANS! (Nothing special I know). I was do dead damn freaking #$%&* hungry the whole day because I had a far-too-early and far-too-little breakfast. (Don't usually have lunch) I wanted to grab some stuff from home before I headed down to GJ but to my horror there was absolutely NOTHING edible at home! (Except a black rotting banana and of course thats not classified under edible). Then I realized I haven't done my grocery shopping for more than a week, had been eating out the past few days. Feeling frustrated because I've to spend money which could have been saved, I bought the cheapest thing you can find on Queen Street - doughnut. Usually I can suppress my hunger till dinner but it just seemed impossible today because my stomach was acting stupid making all those washing machine noises and I don't wanna embarrass myself with this kinda stomach at GJ.

Stepped in to the oh-so-familiar GJ again. I think the time I've spent in GJ/SB is longer than the time in Uni. Coincidentally met C and Y. Talked for awhile but my notes were calling out to me so I was quickly pulled back to the stupid world of cases. (I just printed all my highly-summarized crim notes (for FREE at railway campass! Thank God G smuggled me in!) which is 1cm thick, most have 4 pages printed on 1 - thats freaking scary...I need to memorize that shit!) But less than 2 hours of highly productive studying, probably 5xs the rate I usually read, D and G came and it was time for dinner! Relieved because I can finally eat, exasperated because I really don't have the time.

They thought of going to the chocolate boutique at Parnell after dinner... I reckon they saw my super stress face and asked if I wanna go - I stammered and said maybe not (I was very sure I am not going and I'm gonna go SB to mug till midnight). BUTTTT they changed the destination to hulu cat which compelled me to go because its so near my place! And I thought why not, I can do my grocery shopping while they go for a drink so I succumbed to my temptations and went - in the name of grocery shopping. At last, they went foodtown with me and joked that I can survive war if theres 1.. because I can live on expired food -.- Haha Yeah...I think I'm totally immuned to expired food! I won't get a stomachache after eating them! I mean I do occasionally but thats very rare. NOT that I love eating expired food, just that I can't be going foodtown every 3 days!

After which we rotted at hulucat. Coincidentally, S was there and she gave me a few good tips about law (Another good reason why I should be at hulucat not SB studying). And again, coincidentally, I saw N and V! And coincidentally, they know each other! Alright, so many coincidentallys today.

And as you can see, I really don't wanna stop typing. Else I need to start studying. But well, I'm quite sure I won't. I will sleep early tonight, wake up at 7am, eat a freaking heavy breakfast, head down to SB, study till 4pm non-stop, run to Mission Bay (hopefully I can make it there and back), dinner, and back to SB at 7pm to study till 12am. What a fulfilling day -.-

But then again, I'm so sure I'll just die of tiredness from the run and either stay at home or roll down the steep slope to SB. If you do not already know, Chen Huiling's legs have never gone faster than the speed of 7km/hr since say 6months? And the run to Mission Bay is round 10km -.- But the hype bout it is just too enticing to ignore. They are always running there but I've never joined them because... I don't want everyone to be waiting for me. Er, I'll attempt that %^&*feat tomorrow. I think I can only make it to the highway bridge and turn back. Or maybe worse still, I'll take a bus back -.-

Ok, you know what, I am really gonna start being more discipline and stop blogging or wasting time on frivolous stuff (like pulling out my luggage and start packing for home which is utterly random because I'm not going back that soon... or start buying souvenirs). Well, all the best to those having exams and take good care! I hope you won't see me posting something else tomorrow or else my good bye msg would be rendered useless.

JAPAN!!!! again.

goddamnit I'm so super distracted.
YES I'm going to start talking about Japan AGAIN.
I know I've been very unproductive and distracted the past few days so...I decided to study my ass off till late at SB today.

I woke up at 7plus am for the ortho appointment and was caught in a v heavy rain so I decided to go back and take a nap and get changed before my lect. But I overslept and missed my last lecture of the semester!!! Which is really bad because its a very very important one. But something else made my day - someone bought my law notes today, so $50 extra!

I headed down to GJ to study for awhile and G came by. Obviously I stopped doing my work and talked for awhile and went for dinner with YC. Feeling so super freaking guilty, I thought I would stop by SB and study till late. But I'd to get some books from Borders first (40% discount!!!) And as usual I stayed there longer than expected. (I stayed at Whitcoulls for an hour yesterday to find for a freaking book!) It was a disappointment because I can't get the books I wanted - The Gathering by Anne Enwright...she won some booker award and because of that, they all sold out -.-. So I bought Japan's lonely planet instead! I just realized I spent so much these couple of days but its so worth it. Whitcoulls had 50% off all their fiction books!!

Ok so I was determined to study at SB but obviously it was too late so I might as well go home. Well thats because I can't wait to book my air tickets!!!!

Coincidentally G's going on the EXACT SAME DATES AS ME!!!! And Apple is going as well! And mp is there, and wb might drop by!!! But G departs from Tokyo while I've travel down to Osaka before going back to Singapore. Anyways, being so freaking excited I came online and tried to book the tickets. Took a long long long time to figure it out and finally booked it...But sadly, its on waiting list and there's only 50% chance I can get the tickets..

If I don't get it through krisflyer, I got to get it through ana or something... and I've to wait for my parents to come back from China before doing that. AH! so excited now. This is my first time booking air tickets by myself! Cheap thrill. My dad usually does it for me but he is not available now and I can't wait any longer!

Erm so yeah, I'll wait till next week, if they still don't give me a confirmation, I'm gonna try other agencies! AHHHHHHHHHHH DAMNIT I NEED TO STUDY AND STOP TYPING SO MUCH!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

I sooo won't be laughing like that next week when my exams start.
Ok.....!!! HUILING!!!! STOP!!! Start studying for crim!

I will not talk about Japan anymore
I will not talk about Japan anymore
I will not talk about Japan anymore
I will not talk about Japan anymore

LALALLALALLALALALALALLAAAAAAA I'M GOING JAPAN!!!!!

Backpacking #5 - JAPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still can't help it but rant about my excitement.
Ok, its not confirm that I am really 100% guarantee plus chop etc going because....
I HAVEN'T BOUGHT MY AIR TICKETS!
Only after booking my air-tickets would I really consider myself going.

Last night I was talking to my dad and we were searching tickets online and there was one to Osaka and my dad said 'book now huh?' I was taken aback because I felt that it was just too fast and random and unexpected and don't know...just so not prepared! Cause if I really book the tickets, I can't change the dates anymore! But I can't believe my parents are so swift bout that!

Ok, they still don't know that I may be traveling alone for a few days...if they know, I can totally give up the thought of going so of course, they are not going to be notified bout that!

Its really not the time to be researching bout the trip but I can't help it because I need to settle some stuff before I can even book the tickets! Apparently there are no more tickets to Tokyo on the dates I'm looking at so my only alternative now is to go to Osaka first. Kinda decided where I wanna cover already - Osaka -> Nara -> Kyoto -> Tokyo -> Osaka with the 7 days railway pass! Wonder how am I gonna go Kobe though...theres this Kobe Luminare during Christmas which I really wanna go! Heard its beautiful!!

Accommodation is rather expensive though (compared to the backpackers in NZ which ranges from $18-$25 per night). The cheapest I can find in Japan is something called Ryokan, probably their version of backpackers. There are youth hostels which costs around $37 a night but its shared. Erm I feel that its a lil dodgy if I have to stay with other people when I'm alone. Sigh!

Alrights, I must keep everything going else my plans of backpacking to Japan will fail! I even bought a travel diary just now for planning purposes and I'll probably buy the Japan Lonely Planet travel guide tomorrow! And its as if heaven is on my side - I've a 40% discount voucher from Borders for travel guides!

Ok, I shan't bore you with all those details anymore like what I'm doing to everyone around me! Haha whenever I see my friends in uni, I just can't control myself and start talking bout my plans -.-.

Ok, all I need to do now is to be focus on my work. Exams starting next week.

Haha oh yeah, as usual, I've been going to GJ/SB everyday. And in SB, they ask for your name when they take your order. Knowing that they can't spell my name, I usually give my initials - HL and this is what they gave me:
So I decided to say 'Ling' the next time. And they gave me:

Alright, I know. I need to get a English name. So I decided to just say Lynn the next time. And this is what they gave me:

..........................................

And as you can see, I'm a comp idiot. I don't know how to rotate the pictures. I tried, but they just won't turn.

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I AM GOING TO BACKPACK JAPAN AT THE END OF THE YEAR!!!!!!
SCREAMS! PULLS MY HAIR! SO FREAKING EXCITED! SO DAMN HAPPY!!!!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY PARENTS ACTUALLY ALLOW!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
IN FACT I GOT MY MOM SO EXCITED ABOUT MY ENDEAVOUR SHE SAID SPONTANEOUSLY THAT SHE IS GONNA PAY WHEN I BROUGHT UP MY CONCERNS ABOUT THE COSTS. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! CAUSE I REALLY CAN'T! I MUST BE DREAMING. PLEASE DON'T WAKE ME UP TILL DECEMBER ENDS.
ITS EITHER I'M SUCH A GOOD PERSUADER OR MY MOM WAS JUST NOT THINKING.
YES
YES
OH NO I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T STUDY ANYMORE!
FREAK! JAPAN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN I NEED TO LEARN JAPANESE NOW!!!!!!!!!!
LALALALALLALALALALLALALALALALALALALLALALALA
OMG I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FINE
I DON'T CARE IF I'M GOING ALONE OR NOT BUT I AM GOING!!
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
AND MAYBE STOP BY KOREA!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OMG I'M GOING TO WORK MY ASS OF WHEN I GET BACK AND EARN SOME MONEY SO I CAN TOTALLY SPLURGE THERE!
AHHHHHHHHH
DON'T WAKE ME UP FROM MY DREAM!

My dual lifestyle

Early bird
Night owl

I lived in Singapore for say 18plus years, NZ for approximately 2 years and I am ashamed to say that I hardly know much about my country- both Singapore and NZ. And so we were talking to Charlie from Taiwan during dinner. He has been here for 7years – meaning that he’d been away from Taiwan for 7 years. But, I’m impressed that he still knows his country's history, politics etc. Not just Taiwan but China and Hong Kong as well. And so we started bombarding him with questions about Taiwan's history and politics and to my delight, he was able to answer most of the questions and it was really interesting. I just know a lil about Taiwan...something about KuoMingTang and Chiang Kai Shek but nonetheless it was still a very entertaining topic to talk about. We digressed a lil to Singapore, ASEAN and a lil on Indonesia. I guess I've learnt a pretty substantial amount from them over a short dinner.

The other day we watched a video on the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp under the Nazis. It was so freaking disturbing. Listening to it was bad enough but watching it was just pure torturous. How they exterminated the Jews, stripped them, gassed them, used all their body parts for other purposes as if they were like commodities. And how the concentration camp functions as if it’s a factory – just that the raw materials were human. Look at the POW’s expressions – you will wonder why they even want to continue living. But the most disturbing part was when the bulldozer pushing all the dead naked bodies into the furnace. Freak! I don’t even want to try describing it. I guess its just the circumstance. Maybe the person sitting next to you now is the sweetest thing on earth but maybe if you put her/him into that context, can you guarantee that she/he will still be sweet?

3 more weeks before my exams end. Yes, I really can't wait for everything to be over. I don't want to wake up early in the morning and walk to Starbucks. I don't want to sit there the whole day. I don't want to skip lunch. I don't want to stay there till night. I want to just rot and read anything other then cases. I read 65 cases this week! 380pages in total and considering that 2 pages are printed on 1, its 760pages!!! That totally explains my headaches, loss of appetite, dizziness blah blah blah. Never mind, it will be over soon.

AND! SouthPark is ridiculously funny! I've only watched 2 episodes but I think its so damn funny I kept re-watching them. Especially the death of Eric Cartman. HAHAHA ITS SO DAMN FUNNY I LAUGH WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT IT. I was controlling my laughter when I was watching it at GJ. My god, I felt like exploding with laughter.
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Ingeniously funny!

GJ vs SB

I spent the last couple of weeks camping in cafes - Gloria Jeans and Starbucks. Although I personally still prefer GJ way better than Starbucks, (I don't know why but Starbucks tastes so bad after drinking GJ...maybe its just that outlet, don't remember Starbucks tasting so bad before. I tried Cafe Mocha, Vanilla Latte, Caramel Latte, White Chocolate Latte, Cafe Latte and all tasted either wrong or substandard. But I stick to Cafe Latte now because it tastes like milk and its the cheapest)

Anyway the point is time passes so slowly now. I thought I went out with them for dinner a week before but actually, it was just 2 days before. Thats what happens when you stay in a place for too long. We sat there without moving from 1130am to 930pm, occasionally for toilet breaks. I was rushing for my exams revision while G was rushing for some archi project.

I felt like a lump of dough just sitting there the whole freaking day and night flipping through cases after cases for law, questions after questions for accounting. And its really draining on both my brains and my wallet. I mean, I felt that it was pretty wrong for us to sit there the whole day by just ordering a drink so I bought 2. 2 drinks from SB everyday - thats freaking wasting my money considering I don't even like it. And why am I not going to GJ? Because they have no power point for my laptop.

Haha ok, stop complaining. I quite like sitting there in fact - rather than sitting in the library. I'm so much more productive there plus the caffeine keeps me invigorated. But whenever I reach home, I'll feel like I'm floating around because my brain is kinda fried. So now, here I am, sitting down for a moment to rest. I was just reading several blog entries and suddenly, I realized that my lifestyle is so different here!

This is totally random but I realized that the way I live here is totally different from how I would in Singapore. Its just so different! Not that its bad, but its just different.

Ok, got to get back to my surreal world of cases after cases and calculations after calculations. And my vacuum cleaner just got to act stupid at this crucial time. Argh.

Notice of Detainment

I froze when I opened my letter box and saw this:


I panicked - thinking that I'm gonna get detained because I didn't vote. Ripped opened the letter and saw this:


.........................................
'$59.56' totally popped out from the letter. I thought I had to pay that amount and was super relief when I saw the 2nd option - Destruction at no cost.

Destruction at no cost? Pretty weird because the BBQ pork, aka Bak Gua is already with me:



But to enable them to fulfill the requirements of the Biosecurity Act 1993, alright, I'll 'destruct' it:

Absolutely peculiar

Huh? I feel that I'm living in an ultimately surreal world now - Its either I am dreaming or I am not existing.

Maybe its the lack of sleep again.
I had an assignment due today which I usually finish a week before but obviously I didn't and had to even skip 2 lectures to complete it - Yes, last-minute.

Considering I didn't sleep much the past few nights and a few important matters to attend to and major decisions made etc, I felt that I used 10% of my brain instead of the usual 3% as Einstein states (Am I even right about this fact?). And being deprived of GJ this morning made me 1000xs more lethargic. And as usual, being a true-blue Singaporean, I was late for History lecture by 20minutes after which I skipped the next 2 lectures to complete the 4% worth of Accounting assignment (Yes, only 4%). I mean even if I get that question wrong, its only gonna affect my grades by less than 0.5marks but its either the kiasu-ism or the I-just-need-to-know-how-to-do-it urge in me, I refused to hand it in till I kinda think its right.

But my brains could only function at 10% of its usual rate and it was just a totally wrong time to piss me off then. So as I was rushing for time, this kinda familiar girl came up to me and said, 'Hey, you did accting 102 last sem right? You are doing acct 221 now?' Damn... I recognized her after awhile...that girl who kept forcing answers out of me during tutorial when the tutor was talking. I mean, I need to listen to explain but she just went on and on and on and on so I could never get anything out of the tutorial. So I can never teach her nor can I even understand it myself.

I knew she had the intention to copy my answers but I really don't like that idea. Firstly, I don't really know you, I don't even remember your name. Secondly, if you weren't that last minute, I can teach but not let you copy! You gotta work it out yourself. Attitude totally wrong. Thirdly, I'm pretty screwed myself so as I much as I want, sorry. So I told her as politely as I could that I haven't finish it myself but she kept insisting (She didn't even have her assignment there). I got a lil impatient yet guilty but I really have negative amount of time to continue that mini argument. Probably she got me at the wrong time, I was really tired and I had another tutorial soon. Tough luck. And no, she didn't give up, she saw Nat's assignment and flip through it. That really pissed me off because that was not even my assignment and she just took it without asking?! So I took it back. And you thought she would just give up, but no, she said she will come later after printing her assignment. -.- But I left a lil after because I had a tutorial.

Yes, I'm horrible and I'm pretty guilty bout that. But..aiyah! Sorry lor. Just not the time to ask me for help.

Thank god Nat got coffee for me before Crim tut else I'll definitely doze off again. Although its not comparable to GJ, its still effective. Ok, this is the crux of my post - I was utterly stupefied when I got back my results.

I had this crim test weeks ago which I totally screwed it up because I had a mental bock and had almost nothing to write - to the extend that I wanted to walk out of the exam hall. In fact, it bothered me so much I had to go out with a couple of friends for a drink to straighten out my thoughts. And the following weeks after that test I was still demoralized about it and felt fidgety during Crim lects and am half way on giving it up. When the results were released, my whole mind was clouded with the thought on how badly I'd done and trying to create the worst case scenario - maybe 9/100. I refused to check the results nor collect the paper although I know I need to do a proper review on it. I was gonna ask my friend to collect it for me but I reckon I shouldn't be such a pussy.

So I decided to collect it today, after crim tut and before SY's birthday dinner. I told myself not to be too affected by it and if I really was (which I was almost certain i would be) the company later in the evening would probably comfort me a lil. So yes, I went to collect my essay and test and expecting to get a single digit. When I opened the script, to my horror/surprise (I don't know what words to use) I saw a double digit which starts with 7 and ends with 6. So I rolled my eyes thinking that they gave me the wrong script. (Getting B+ for Part 2 law is kinda impossible for people like me) But I thought the handwriting looked familiar. So I reckon it was mine and I was kinda sure that they entered the wrong marks. So I flipped through it with the -.- mindset, already expecting some super stupid major mistake in calculations. But to my horror (Yes, horror, not even happiness because I thought it was totally absurd) I saw the comments 'good', 'good', 'v.good', 'self-defence', 'good effort', '76'and thought - you MUST be kidding me. This is totally wrong. I mean, HUUUUUHHHH I'm so confuse! I mean wth! I spent so many sleepless nights and worries and blah blah blah because of this. I know, you must be trashing me now saying that I should just be contented but I just think this is just so ridiculous. I can't say that I'm happy, I think I'm more of dumbfounded. Huuuhhhh I totally feel so stupid worrying like shit the past few weeks...not paying attention in lects huuuuhhhhhhhhh ironic. I'm so damn freakin lucky. I think I can even win a jackpot now.

But my opinion's marks was bad but I think it accurately reflects the quality of that piece of work - crap. Totally mistook a whole chunk of law but as usual Brown ALWAYS states something consoling at the end of his markings no matter how crappy your work is. He said my English expression is well-up to task - Although I feel absolutely flattered, I know thats not true. I must correct that statement - not MY but the people who not only proof-read that opinion but even corrected all my nonsensical mistakes. Haha thanks to those - I promise I'll give you all a treat.

And yesterday I was checking out the GJ's outlets in Sg and the good news is that there are 3 not 1! At Marina, Raffles and Vivo. Yup, no worries now. So as I was surfing through their web I unknowingly ended up in this page - http://www.gloriajeans.com/t-franchising.aspx
Haha! Yes, I wanna franchise more of them in Sg. Haha nah, just joking I don't have such means but I reckon if there are more outlets or if Sgporeans are more aware of GJ, they would be as or even more popular than Starbucks! Starbucks is way too expensive and I don't know, but I love GJs here. Ok, I must qualify my statement, I love Gloria Jeans @ Borders. Yes! Another dream of opening a small lil cafe in the center of a bookshop. Hah. Maybe one day I should just sit there and count the number of customers patronizing that outlet and work out how much they probably earn! I bet its a lot!

And! I've spent so much there! Damn! But I try not to spend on anything except groceries which I haven't even bought for a couple of weeks. How I survive? Didn't you know instant noodles are students' best friends? Haha.

Haha, this is totally random, but yesterday when I was doing some work in GJ, a friend dropped by and told me the most absurd and funniest thing about his childhood I nearly died laughing. I still think that that is totally ridiculous. Rolls eyes again.

Ytd I started to use reverse psychology to convince my parents. As in, imbuing indirectly my opinions so that they would be slowly be influenced and maybe at the end of the year when I let them know my decision they would just happily embrace it, without even displaying the slightest objection. But of course, I got to be discrete about it - sounding neutral and blahblahblah so that they won't think I'm being emotional or bias. Haha this feels like a game -.- I hope I win.

Oh no...I just read what I've just typed and I think my blog is totally rubbish... Its totally void of contend and random stuff coming out from me. Ahh... haha sorry for wasting your time if you're even reading this. haha.

Yup, to again emphasize my identity as a true-blue Singaporean, I'm once again, very late for dinner now.

My mood and thoughts have changed drastically and I went to bed last night feeling exhilarated. Its as if my perceptions had just revolutionized in a matter of minutes.

I made a major and crucial decision last night which shocked the people who I've told including myself. They thought it was a rash decision and yes I admit it was a lil but I was never so sure that it is gonna be right. I know I'm gonna start a war in my family but I just hope they would understand my plight. My goals have never changed all along its just the method of getting there is gonna take a turn. Maybe they were too used in me succumbing to their opinions and maybe I was too used in adopting their ideas but its as if I gained 'enlightenment' last night, I have decided that I'm going my way.

There were a lot of factors impeding this decision and I never thought I would resort to such bold steps but I realized that my worries are just all arbitrary and all along I knew what I was supposed to do but I just didn't dare to do it.

Nope, my parents do not know my intentions yet, just a handful of people who I think would support my endeavour (I'm so freaking thankful for that). I will let them know when I get all the stuff more or less settled and I hope they would just accept it. I feel a lil sorry towards my parents pertaining to this decision but I'll make sure my goals remain and I have never given up all along. Maybe this would even make me a better person. Just need to bear with the nitpickings and quibbles for the moment.

To celebrate my liberation from this messy affair (as how G puts it) I ordered a regular Mocha Truffle ($5) instead of the usual small cafe latte ($3.30) at Gloria Jeans. Just digressing, but GJ is totally ripping me off - I drink something from there every single day this week and I'm quite sure the following weeks too till I get back to Singapore and I have a bad feeling that I would still be their loyal customer and travel all the way to if I'm not wrong, Borders? (The only GJ in Singapore) and get my current fav.

Anyway, basically, I hope I won't face too many carping criticisms with my decision cause... hey, you really have no basis to do so. Oh yeah, but of course...you've your freedom of expression.

Haha I totally agree with Alex that 'we're the victims of pr' haha. How true.

[edited] haha I think I just misled a few who thought that my decision is to drop law. Wrong.

Should I drop law...

I woke up lying on a damp pillow and I was wondering what the hell just happened. And I realized my face was wet as well. It took me awhile to actually realize that I was crying. I tried to recall my dreams I had during the night and it all came flowing back. It doesn't really make sense though. I dreamt that my dad tore his ligament but still insisted on going trekking (?!?!?!). And I remembered him limping in the forest (?!?!?!!).
What does this suppose to mean?!
1) I miss my dad too much
2) I miss trekking too much
3) I'm just stress

And I vaguely remembered I'd another dream before that that one of my friends met with a mishap. But I can't remember what. Its frustrating though, when you don't have much time to sleep yet you can't sleep well. I'd another dream recently about forensic science (?!?!?)

If I'm not wrong, its the mid-autumn fest tonight and if I'm not wrong it signifies some family gathering thing or something like that. Of course, it evoked certain emotions and memories. But I know I'm not the only one away from home and this shouldn't be affecting me even a wee bit. I'm trying hard to stay on track now but, I really miss my family.

I drew up a study plan last night and whilst planning I felt numbness in my brain - I'm so gonna die this time round. Even if I start mugging this very minute I can't complete whatever there is and the fear starts rushing in. That constant prick throughout the whole day, even at dinner just now celebrating Kelvin's birthday. I saw last year's batch graduating today and their proud smirk on their face. I can't wait for my turn. It would be next year if I drop one of the degrees. But this small voice in me constantly say NO YOU STUPID ASS!!!

This is just another passing phase and I still need to get through it. Again, I'm tired, again, I miss my family and friends, again, I feel like giving up, again everything is piling up, but again, I need to go through it.

I need to start working. Start doing what I need to do. Go downtown to buy the stupid stamps to send my stupid application, read the stupid cases, do the stupid online test, read the stupid readings, go for the stupid lectures, sleep less, cook faster, focus more...everything to get through this stupid period.

Till then, I'll stop youtubing.

Happy mid-autumn fest.
I need to talk to my parents.

Otara Market, The Occidental

Otara Market
I'm not really a NZ-market kinda person, but I forced myself to go yesterday despite not sleeping the whole freaking night (2nd or 3rd time this week alr - I'm really gonna change this bad habit!)! And I knew it was the wrong choice once I was walking out. I was quite tired and sleepy and cold and lazy but nonetheless braved the winds and walked to the bus-stop to meet YC. And guess what? We missed the bus and got to wait for another 45minutes in the cold. And we paid $10.60 for a round trip to some morning market which I don't understand whats the hype bout it anyways. The only thing I got out of it was cheap veg, but considering the transportation fare, its not really THAT cheap. YC came over for awhile to transfer movies into my laptop and despite how tired I was, I couldn't help it but show her the good stuff I found on youtube! Argh! Thats my current obsession and its gonna be my downfall. After which, slept for 12 hours..and when I woke up today, I felt as if I've slept so much that I can go on not sleeping for the rest of the following week.

The Occidental
Feeling a lil guilty I decided to mug a lil and came across a very very interesting case which I would elaborate later. Supposed to do grocery shopping with Grace today but it was raining so we decided not to and knowing that I wouldn't have the time to do it next week, I've to really make use of whats left in my fridge, which is like...very little haha. But anyways, met Cheryl for dinner at the Occidental which is like a pub/restaurant kinda place with a live band. I have heard a lot about it - how good the mussels are blah blah. Someone once told me the serving is huge and its for 2. But, don't know why we ordered one each and hell! It was huge! One freaking pot (1kg of mussels) with a bowl of fries. We thought we could do a take-away but the manager said we can't because thats their company's policy. Cheryl was damn pissed and insisted that she was gonna bring it back no matter what. 'Theres always a way', she said. I thought she was kidding but NO! She was dead serious. Her mom gave me this bottle of kaya with a plastic bag wrapped around it and so, she ingeniously decided to use that. I was laughing my ass of..my god.. I was like, if we get caught, we are so dead man! I was telling her that I can't get a criminal conviction else I can never practise law. I know this ain't serious enough to result in a criminal conviction but its just humiliating to get caught taking mussels away in a freaking plastic bag. (Not using 'stealing' cause we paid for it) And so to accomplish her desire to prove her point that no one's gonna stop us from taking whats rightfully ours, I was supposed to keep a look out for the waitresses. Occasionally I've to pretend to 'search' for something in the bowl so that the waiter won't take it away and expose our plastic bag. After getting all the shells out and mussels into the plastic bag, the next challenge was to smuggle it into my bag, which was my job. So I just took it and put it inside and she stared at me in horror - you are so not discrete. We quickly paid the bill and left. I'm so not gonna go back there again! If they've a CCTV and they would be thinking - stupid asians!

Auckland Area Health Board v Attorney-General

I really like how the judge ruled in this case. I summarized it...I kinda agree with what he said, what do you think?

Facts
•Mr L is not what is called ‘brain dead’ – but brain is unable to communicate with his body or brain or vice versa
•No prospect of recovery, no therapeutic or medical benefit in continuing artificial ventilation
•If artificial ventilation is discontinued, L will suffer an almost immediate cardiac arrest and quickly but painlessly die
•Full support from Mrs L
•Doctors seeking confirmation that they would not be prosecuted – come to court seeking a declaration that what they wish to do is not unlawful

Issue
•Whether the doctors’ action in withdrawing the artificial ventilation (AV) support system from L would make them guilty of culpable homicide
•Whether the doctors would be in breach of ss151 and 164

Analysis

The Sanctity of life
•NZ BOR emphasizes the role of the law in preserving life but there are qualifications of this
•S11 BOR – everyone has the right to refuse to undergo any medical treatment
•Nancy B v Hotel-Dieu de Quebec
•Held that the use of a respirator to sustain ‘life’ was a medical treatment, but that the discontinuance of that treatment at the patient’s request would not constitute a criminal act
•Constantly keeping the patient on the respirator without her consent constituted an intrusion and interference which violated her person
•Problem arises when life passes into death but obscurely – enormous advances made in technology and medical science
•Whether life-support system is being used to sustain life or being used to defer death

The ‘living dead’
•With the advances in technology and medical skills – medical profession has rejected the notion that death is to be equated with the cessation of a person’s heartbeat – instead, it is preferred to adopt the concept of ‘brain death’
•Brain-stem death- whole of the brain has been severely destroyed and the critical functions responsible for supporting brain activity have been irretrievably lost – but breathing and heartbeat can be mechanically induced

Interpreting s151
•S151 – seeks to ensure that those who have the care of one who cannot care for him or herself supply that person with the necessaries of life

Cause of death?
•Issue – whether the withdrawal of AV would be the cause of L’s death
•Essentially – ask whether the doctor was under a duty to continue the life-support system – or had a ‘lawful excuse’ for discontinuing it
•If doctor is not under a legal duty to continue life support system – or has ‘lawful excuse’ – he has not legally caused the death of patient
•Proceed on to answer these 2 questions to determine cause of death:
The duty to provide the necessaries of life
•Medical intervention which is construe to be a necessary of life is medical intervention necessary to prevent, cure or alleviate a disease that threatened life or health
•Question – whether a AV is to be construed as a necessary of life? – no absolute answer, depend on the facts
•Provision of AV may be regarded a necessary of life where it is required to prevent, cure or alleviate a disease that endangers health or life
•However –if the patient is surviving by virtue of the mechanical means which induces heartbeat and breathing and is beyond recovery – do not consider that the provision of AV can be properly construed as necessary of life – patient has passed the point of ‘life’ – and the obligation contemplated by the section is otiose
•But this would not be the case if AV has a therapeutic or medical advantage in that it may enable a patient to live long enough to recover from the illness
•Mr L’s case – no prospect of any improvement – AV serves no purpose – cannot be regarded as a necessary of life

Lawful excuse
•Even if doctors are under a duty to provide – for purpose of s151, they would not be acting without ‘lawful excuse’
Doctors have lawful excuse to discontinue ventilation when there is no medical justification for continuing that form of medical assistance – continuation of AV may be lawful, but it does not make it unlawful to discontinue it if it accords with good medical practice
• Good medical practice – best interests of the patient, encompass the prevailing medical standards, practices, procedures, traditions which common general approval within the medical profession, specialist opinions, agreement, consultation with medical profession’s recognized ethical body, patient’s family approval
•Decision to withdraw L’s AV is supported by others and extensive tests have been carried out – assurance of good medical practice
•Physician has no duty to continue treatment, once it has proved to be ineffective – although there may be a duty to provide life-sustaining machinery in the immediate aftermath of a cardio-respiratory arrest, there is no duty to continue its use once it has become fertile in the opinion of qualified medical personnel
•Doctor must never do anything actively to kill his patient but he is not bound to fight for the patient’s life forever
•Natural death has not lost its meaning or significance, it may be deferred but not postponed indefinitely
•What is involved is not just medical treatment but medical treatment in accordance with the doctor’s best judgment as to what is the best interests to his patient
•Mr L – death is merely being deferred

S164 – Acceleration of death
•Has little or no application to this case
•Significant difference between hastening the death of a living person who may be nevertheless be terminally ill and discontinuing a life-support system which is artificially prolonging the manifestations of ‘life’
•If the doctor withdraws AV in accordance with recognized and approved medical opinion – does not act unlawfully

Decision
•Withdrawal of AV is not the cause of death as a matter of law if and when one or other of the 2 primary conditions are met – that is doctor is not under a duty to provide AV as part of necessaries of life OR has a lawful excuse for declining to do so
•Both questions then turn on whether or not the doctor has followed good medical practice and the guidelines or procedures which have been laid down
•Declaration issued

A Series of Unfortunate Events

1) Handed in my worst essay ever written (Global history)
2) Nearly got knocked by a car again - I thought he was moving out but he was actually reversing and I couldn't hear his horns because my ipod was blasting into my ears
3) Scars of the burnt won't go away
4) Stomach ache after eating expired bread - I thought it looked o.k.
5) Don't know why but I feel that I can't breathe properly sometimes
6) Can't study

Hmm... well all these are making me feel frustrated at times but they are just minute situations which I think I can still handle them. But whats disturbing me are these...

1) Mrs Serene Ng just passed away due to some delivery complications. She never taught me before but she was my teacher-in-charge for Math Olympiad in Cedar when I was in Sec1. She's known to be pretty and nice teacher. What a pity to depart the world at such a young age - leaving her whole family behind.

2) My friend's father passed away recently.

3) My friend's mother passed away recently.

4) My friend's sibling is diagnosed with cancer.

5) My cousin's girlfriend attempted suicide.


F***! I never thought such things would happen around me but it recently did, one after the other. I'm not particularly close to any of them but its still disturbing. I wonder how are they taking things now? They are no doubt, 100xs braver than me. There are many occasions which I'd dreamed about my loved ones dying and waking up in tears. I realized that its damn freaking scary and its gonna take so much courage and will to overcome that loss.

I remembered when I was a kid in primary school, my Chinese teacher was punishing one of my classmates because she didn't ask her parents to sign her ting xie (spelling test). She said that her mom wasn't in. My teacher shouted at her, 'jiao ni ba ba qian!' (Ask your dad to sign it!) And she was helplessly crying in front of the class saying, 'Ta si le' (He is dead). I remembered that scene so damn clearly.

And then there was a time a schoolmate's dad was killed in JB in some robbery because he wanted to protect her and got shot instead.

And then there was a time a schoolmate passed away due to leukemia.

I was never profoundly closed to them but these news always shake me back to reality, that yes, anything can happen, and yes, life is that fragile.

I don't like partings. All types. I mean who likes it anyway? But some learned to accept it but I guess I'm very susceptible to it. (I'm quite ashamed to say that I still cried like a kid the SECOND time I left for NZ and I know I still will the 3rd,4th,5th...10th time no matter how hard I control) But there was one particular time I didn't.

It was my Grandmom's funeral, a week before I left for NZ. I never shed a tear throughout the whole 5days. No, not that I hate her or anything, in fact she gained my utmost respect. I felt guilty initially, when everyone was mourning and crying I asked myself, how can I not even tear!? But I guess, I felt that she left us with peace. She spent her whole life struggling - paying debts, bringing up her children, supporting the family, waiting for her husband's return for 10 years, dealing with a son who is a gambler and despite all her struggles, she never got anything in return, up till her last day in this world. My mom said she was a kind soul - too kind, too nice but just didn't know how to be a lil more tactful. She suffered her whole life and I guess her passing was a form of relief to her.

I didn't sleep a few nights during her funeral, burning incense paper next to her coffin and keeping the cats out. Most of the time I was alone till the next morning - but it didn't feel all that scary. I wonder why...

But I'd a dream one night - her image was blur but I could hear her voice, speaking to me in hokkien, 'Ling ah, very painful... very painful...'
Till this day, I never told any one in my family. I don't know why, maybe I'm just uncomfortable saying it, maybe I want to believe that I remembered my dream wrongly, maybe I just don't want my mom to feel even worse.

Death...it happens every day, every minute, every second yet its so hard to accept. And those who'd experience a loss of a loved one, you're a hero/heroine in your own right and I respect you for that.

Life isn't too kind to you, but I'm sure your loved one would be smiling with pride somewhere out there.