Shit. I'm going down again. Shit.
I must stop this.

Karangahake Gorge Trip

Feeling awfully stress now, I've decided to eat a banana and blog about...um..something.

Oh yeah, about my tramping trip yesterday. The physical challenge I imposed upon myself with not much regret I must say.

Well I did initially, when I had to drag myself out of bed at supposedly 630am but I only managed to at 7am on a Sunday morning, mind you. I cursed and swear and rushed and barely made it in time. We headed up North to somewhere near Paeroa (where the famous L&P drink originated). It was around an hour 40min drive and I soon nodded off in the car - you see the reason why I am still procrastinating in taking my driving license.

Admittedly, I do not really know the details of the trip. I know we were going tramping somewhere outside Auckland but thats about it. I was so caught up trying to finish what I was supposed to finish and that overshadowed any bit of excitement about the trip. Anyway, we got there and I just felt absolutely lazy and tired. I wonder where my so-called adventurous spirit and passion for outdoors went. See the evilness of jurisprudence and legal research? They consume you into their black hole, swallowing up your every bit of emotions towards anything else. (Ok, ok, I shall stop being melodramatic)

Anyway, I decided that I might just get an inspiration or 2 when I'm climbing up to presumably the summit of this thing I'm climbing. Maybe I'll get a moment of inspiration and come up with some radical new thought or concept which no one ever did. Or maybe I'll miraculously understand what is happening in whatever papers I'm taking now. Maybe.. so I started day dreaming about that whilst climbing the somewhat difficult trek. Soon, all those thoughts faded and all attention and energy was put into getting one feet ahead of the other. Gosh, I never learn my lesson, do I? Lesson learnt again: Do not attempt to do something physically challenging without first training. First was the National Vertical Marathon, now its this.

Well long story short, I managed to reach the summit and the view was of course, awesome.
Happily forgetting the shitload of work at home, it came back to haunt me by text: "Hey Huiling, I'm a little stuck on 399 (legal research). For Question 1.... " And the text went on about that. Sheesh, I can't believe its overarching presence, it even found me on the summit!!!

Since legal research is here to follow me, might as well complement it. I shall next provide you with a breadcramp trail showing how my tramp went:

Summit > lunch > headed down > explored some caves and tunnels and mines > saw the glow warms in a pitch-dark cave > felt a sense of comfort > went to a river and some went swimming/diving > met really nice people through the trip > trekked back to the car park > had takeaways > drove back to the city

Oh, and coincidentally, I met someone who is from Alexander! The small lil town we went mountain biking the other time. I never expected meeting someone from that small lil town up North in Auckland, neither did he expect meeting someone who have actually been there before. Then again, if the world is small, how big can New Zealand really be?

Huiling screams for help.. no, time!

#$%^&*!!!!!!
I just uncovered a horrible, life-threatening truth... I'm in fact 100 pages behind my readings when I thought I was 10 pages ahead!!!!

Like wt#$%^&*!!!? I feel so cheated!!!!

Ok, breathe Huiling, breathe. Ok I spent last week doing applications and minimal readings. I took a look at my calendar and gasped, 'Why are there so many orange squares!!! (means assignments deadlines or some random activity)'.

Friday was spent getting stuff for our tramping trip on Sunday which is tomorrow. Its from 8am to 8pm, and I foresee I will obviously get no work done tomorrow. Which means I've to work like a machine today. I did my legal research, did minimal Econs catch-up, rushed to New Market to get my charger, did the housework and laundry, dinner and here I am playing another round of catch-up.

I'm supposed to have an early night, just so I survive tomorrow. But hell! The shit load of work just keeps piling its gonna topple on me soon! If not, now! AH!

The feeling of being cheated is true when
You spent a day reading something boring and difficult,
you tell yourself to persevere because you are getting ahead of everyone else,
you encourage yourself every time you flip a page,
you feel the huge sense of satisfaction when you are convinced that you are no longer lagging behind,
and then you refer to your notes and realise you are actually 100 pages behind.

S
C
R
E
A
M
S
!

I HATE YOU!!!!!!! *SCREAMS AND SHREDS AND TEARS AND CHOPS AND MINCES AND GRINDS AND DEEP-FRY MY COURSEBOOK AND EAT IT UP!!!

Argh. So what, I like being a spoilt and whiny brat. *snorts.

19

I am 19.
People tell me that.
And you should believe that.

Interview

Interviewer: 'So what would be your greatest challenge joining us?'
Me: 'My mom. No, I'm serious!'

Interviewer: 'So do you have any questions to ask us?'
Me: 'Am I in?'

Interviewer: 'How are you going to communicate with your colleagues in a new country?'
Me: 'I talk'

I've a track record of unimpressive replies during interviews.

Interviewer: 'What do you know about PR?'
Me: 'Uh.. advertising?'

But I thought they looked tired and bored after a full day of interviews so I decided to tweak my answers a lil, just to do them a favour of making it more entertaining. Ok, fine, I admit, I did not prepare for this interview. And I, of course, have valid reasons (not excuses, mind you).

I have always thank APPLE for its greatest gift to me - a MacBookPro which have never died on me during my past 3 years in NZ. Even if it decides that it can no longer take my nonsense, it is still considerate and sensible to malfunction only when I'm in Singapore (i.e. neglecting it). I always imagined the nightmarish consequences of it breaking down during my school term - all my precioous notes would be gone, my primary form of communication with the world would disappear, and I would obviously be very upset.

Having already a very bad week, I woke up to a dead charger. The insulator of the wire has been burnt and it could no longer charge my laptop. I panicked, cursed, freaked out by the thought of not having my laptop the next few days, and started making phonecalls seeking help. After a whole round of frustrating calls, I managed to find out where can I get it replaced (for free - with a huge sigh of relief because I got the Apple-care Plan). Still peeved by the fact that I can't get the work I expected myself to complete in the morning done, I trudged towards the Uni bus-stop lugging the heavy laptop. Waited for 40min for the bus (I suspect it travels at 20km/hr) and did not alight at the right bus-stop. Walked back to the store and loaned a charger while they get mine replaced. Since I've paid a dollar sixty to get there, might as well pick up some groceries since the bus-stop ain't that far from my apartment.

Bad.idea. Not as if my laptop wasn't heavy enough, I went for a grocery-shopping-spree and got more than what I could finish in a week. Fast-forward - the bus conductor confirmed that he was stopping at the University (he meant AUT, I meant UOA). Sensing something amiss after passing AUT and going up Queens St, I double checked with him and to my horror, he said he already passed the University. I wanted to knock his head with my chicken wings. ARGHHHHHH......

I got down at K-Road with my groceries and laptop, cursing like no other and started my treacherous, long journey home. Occasionally, I sit along the streets, take out my laptop and watch a couple of videos and pick some tomatoes out of my grocery bags and munch on it. (Ok, I'm joking, I'm not that retarded, its just to emphasize that the journey home was long).

Yes, I reached home, dead tired with the whole morning gone. How often do I actually wake up at 8am in a weekend morning determined to get some work done?!? Almost never! ARGH! Straight after I got dressed for the interview and there goes my precious Saturday. I got so much pent-up emotions this week, I wanna roar!

My blog has been neglected and is becoming a lil depressing... I shall and must focus on the less-disheartening stuff...

Australia
I've been planning my trip to Australia during the inter-semester break. Got the accommodation settled, thanks to Joseph, Kaelyn and Yan (Adelaide, Sydney and Melbourne). This is gonna be a really budgeted trip, mainly to breathe and relax. No concrete plans yet but most probably just day trips around the city and galleries, hopefully a performance in the Sydney Opera House, travel by rail from Adelaide to Melbourne, surfing at Bondi Beach and just wandering around.

Ukraine
It was a random decision I made. I was contemplating to apply for internships in NZ over the summer because I know it will be a very good learning experience. But, I do feel a lil reluctant, thinking that I'm always spending my holidays working. Not that I don't enjoy it, but its also true that I'm gonna work the next 30 or more years! I know an internship is definitely gonna give me a leg-up during my career-searching period, but I realized I've been hard-out in this aspect for quite some time. I might not have the luxury of time to travel next time - and what the hell, I rather that experience. (Although its very very very tough for me to give up the idea of working in a big company- then again, I might not get it) So yes, I decided that doing projects in Ukraine sounds more exciting than doing an internship in NZ (we get paid too) so...why not? Looks equally good on your CV, if that matters.

Haven't done anything impulsive lately and I'm getting a lil bored, frustrated, restless, dismal, somber and whatever upsetting feelings you can think off. Ok, so off I go for an interview tomorrow. I dropped that bomb to my mom last night and the rest of the conversation went on like this: "No, you are not going" and "I don't care, I am going". Then again, what are the chances of actually getting in? Not high. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Millenium Development Goals
I went for a talk by Salil Shetty, the Director of the UN Millenium Campaign, speaking about the progresses and challenges of poverty reduction made by the Millenium Development Goals. In his current role, he is one of the world's leading advocates for governments keep their MDG pledges to the developing world.

I wasn't extremely keen on going for his talk initially because what was going in my mind was this: Oh no, not another activist! I can imagine him going on about how great is their cause, how successful they are and blah blah blah. Then again, I do know stuff about this issue and I thought hearing what he had to say might bring more insights. So we went for the talk which started at a-not-very-early hour of 8pm (It was a very long school day and I was dead tired by 6pm). Ok admittedly, I was struggling to keep awake. Not that he was boring or anything, but you've no idea how tired I was. I poured sweets and water down my throat and opened my eyes as big as I possibly can. Finally, I got through the nodding off stage and could devote my attention to him.

I wasn't as inspired as my friend was after the talk, I'm quite skeptical about such va va voom goals and ideals. The speaker himself know the extreme obstacles they face. But at least, it reminded me of my younger days. I was really into this cause, alleviating poverty so to speak. I read heaps on it, had the desire to do something about it, came up with huge personal plans which I never really told anyone just to save myself from being labeled crazy. But as you grow up, you kinda see another side of the world, some people say that its "growing up" and it seems like skepticism is directly proportionate to it.

I'm terrified when my friend made this comment on me: I didn't know you are such an activist, Huiling (when she realized I joined the ONE campaign many years back). I immediately shot back, 'I'm NOT!' I don't want to look idealistic, I like to maintain that neutral position. Being neutral in the sense of not expecting huge goals to be fulfilled - its different from not wanting to help. But I guess, activists do have their use - if not for their persistent drive and dedication to a certain cause, I reckon much less would be done. I wonder what happened to that strong belief I had a few years back.

Anyway, I'm still not convinced how all these systems of funding/charity/schemes work effectively.

why and how

It has been tough.