Daydream

I'm pretty screwed now cause I was supposed to start revising for my tests and doing my assignments last Thursday but haven't really started till now (Sunday).
But I'm in a mood for relaxation. (aka daydreaming)

Daydreaming about me living in a beautiful house built on stilts with an infinity edge pool facing the sea..


like a world of my own...


and I imagine I can play the piano and maybe I've a piano room with full glass windows on the 3rd floor, extending out to the sea by this open air walkway from the main house (so its like you're playing in the middle of the sea)And the piano is white with chandeliers hanging on the ceiling..

and of course, a nice clean open-concept kitchen where I probably spend most of my time in..

and a small bar in the corner (for my friends to drink, not me) and also a coffee machine..

and a simple garden with no trees but grass and small lil potted plants (must be clean and neat!) with a sheltered swing on the balcony for me to read my books..

and I remembered when I was young, I had this image of my dream home in my head - a built-in waterfall. When you step into the house theres a man-made waterfall from the 3rd floor and it is separated from the living area by glass panels. From the bedroom (upper levels) you can open your inner windows and look out to that waterfall.

and there will be waterways extending into the house from outside...so basically its integrating the nature into your house and your house out to the nature kinda thing. (I'd even a more absurd idea of having a basement with bouldering walls and attic where you can star-gaze.)

and I'll have a yacht which I imagine I can sail with friends and family as and when we feel like

and I'll have a Beagle, Golden Retriever, Miniature Schnauzer, Siberian Husky, Alaskan Malamute and 2 horses (and maybe a dolphin haha)

and of course, my small lil family and kids!

right.. I sure have good imagination.

My assuring friend

Its been a dreary week which I can't bring myself to explain why.
Linghui was trying to convince me that we are happy and satisfied =)
In the midst of my internal struggles...
I received a postcard from mp!! Giving me heaps of encouragement..

Ok, I don't know how to crop.
My most indifferent friend always does the most unlikely things!
What a timely arrival...
MP you rock! Its as if you can sense whether I'm in trouble or not even if I don't say it!

Easter Hols

Its Easter and apparently its quite a big thing here. Almost ALL THE SHOPS ARE CLOSE!!! (Sense my frustration?!)

There are no places to go! And although e cinemas are open, it costs NZD15.50! And we ended up in Hulu Cat AGAIN.

I think the only places open are either fast food restaurants or churches!

I tried playing golf at the driving range yesterday and its pretty fun! Although its quite an expensive sport.

I went to a friend's place for dinner because she said there would be quite a few Japanese there! But it was pretty weird since I'm the youngest (and really much younger) there. And yes, wine was served. And of course, I didn't touch it. I WILL LEARN soon.

And my highly anticipated Fortune Magazine finally arrived! Quite an interesting read.. I'll bring it down to the pool side and flip through a few pages in the evenings. Singapore Airlines is one of the very very VERY few Asia companies ranked Top 20 Most Admirable Companies. Most are from the US. Toyota (Japan) is also one of the top.

Another Singapore company is Flextronics - Flextronics has a contract from Microsoft to build the Zune, Xbox and Xbox 360. Quite impressive! There are quite a few articles on Steve Jobs and Apple too. (Hendric, I bet you'll love them even more if you've read it. You'll be one of the many willing victims under their marketing strategies! Haha) Check out their Apple store at 5th Avenue! Looks like the Louvre Pyramid. Its like a tourists attraction la!!

'Under the Cube on Fifth Avenue, a space that reshapes the rules of retailing.'

They said, 'Our goal was never to have a store for a cult. It was to be a store for EVERYONE.' They even hold patent for the staircase design. Absolutely cool.

The richest city in the world - No, its not Dubai. Its name is Abu Dhabi.

Living the dream

I was that close to dropping law. THAT close.
From ~8pm - ~12am, people I talked to said that they would drop law if they were in my shoes. I was really inclined towards their opinions because I know life would be easy for me if I go that way. But I knew I'd to have a balanced judgment so I talked to another group of people till 6am to consider further.

I decided I was just too tired to make a rational decision, I rested for a couple of hours before making my way down to the law school and decided to leave fate to the student advisers. Hilary Smeeton referred me to the Dean and we discussed at length the options available. It was just too tempting to resist. I know deep down, I enjoy law..its just that I'm intimidated by it. The competition, the expectations, the moots, the opinions and workload.

I've thought a lot. About my life in the past, present and future. It had been relatively smooth sailing and I'm pretty much well on track. Yet I don't like the idea of being stuck in conformity. I don't want to live my life in accord with the perceived social standards. I want to live my dream which is only special to me.

But it seems like my life was led in compliance to the prevailing social expectations. Primary school -> Secondary School (Science) -> JC (Science)-> Uni. If I truly did what I felt like, I would have done arts in the past. I've struggled a lil, between choosing what I like and what is right (society's perspective).

But it goes hand in hand I reckon. Sometimes you need to conform to society's rules and expectations to live your dream. I often steer off the 'right' track, trying to make a statement that I am doing what I like and I am living my life in accordance to no other standards except mine. I tried doing design, I nearly took up political studies, I tried backpacking etc and till this very day, I tried dropping law (thinking that that is what I feel like doing and I should just do what I feel like). But its a hard decision. You can't always do what you feel like, it doesn't work. Living my kinda dream doesn't work by just dropping everything else at hand and break free. I'm not going to end up in a situation which I dream to be in.

As much as I want to lead a carefree life, I know its not possible in this society. The only way is to conform but stick on to your dream. Work hard, play along with everyone else. Compete if you need to, be sad for awhile but remember to see the bigger picture. I'm still living my dream. Do whatever it takes, even being a victim of the social hierarchy but ultimately, continue living your dream. Kinda paradoxical but maybe thats how it works.

I guess many think that I'm a person who does things in accordance to 'whats best' and 'whats good'. Yeah, I guess. But, then again, its just another step towards living my dream.

5am: 3rd post tonight.

Crazy night. Wasted. I suck.

____. i hate this.

The temptation to give up is always...at the back of my head and occasionally (actually quite constantly) strikes.

It has been an arduous and pressurizing week and I'm trying to keep my head above water. But how I wish I can just...yawn, shut down and hibernate.

If I quit law, I'll graduate this year. Sounds like a plan...

Rushing forward yet looking back

Last week, around this time, we were moving furnitures in my house. The house was in a mess, I had a pricking feel deep down, thinking that they were leaving soon.

This week, at this time, I'm looking at the photos up in my room having a consolatory feel deep down, thinking and knowing that those were wonderful memories to look back at and at the same time, pushing me forward.

It has been a very hectic week, a fulfilling summer, a meaningful year. My dad was initially critical about the stuff I want to do. He always says that I want to do too many things within a very short time. I reckon, yeah, kinda. But in the end of the day, I just want to feel...satisfied. The summer vacation has been an indelible one.

5th Nov - NZ Guy Fawkes Day, the best fireworks I've seen/personally set off.

6th Nov - Singapore.

8th Nov - Malaysia.

14th - 18th Nov - Hong Kong, learned a lil more about HongKong as a business hub, sparked my interest in this country as a potential future working location.

20th Nov - 14 Dec - Internship at Harry Elias Partnership, a very good experience, got an insight to the working environment in a law firm and got pretty intimidated with some stuff which seemed foreign to me.

17th Dec - 25th Dec - South Korea, Seoul, Daegu, Haiensa, Gyeongju. A trip which was pretty overwhelming. Not thoroughly fun throughout but made quite a few revelations and exposed me to a whole new perspective. Gave me the urge and courage to travel more, regardless of being alone.

29th Dec - 21st Birthday Party. One of the most touching moments in my life. I never thought a group of friends would go that far for me. It dawned on me that I have friends who I can actually rely, trust and love.

1st Jan - Left for NZ for Summer School.

17th Feb - HESSY (Hen, Ed, Shawn, Spenc, YG) arrived, much to my joy

21st Feb - 2nd March - Traveled around NZ with HESSY, reiterating again, it was the best and most enjoyable trip I've done. We had similar objectives and the company was awesome. The places we traveled to were great and I'd a fair share of fun and reflections during the course of it - just what I seek for in a trip.

5th March - HESSY left, leaving heartwarming memories and a grateful Huiling in Auckland.

Present - Holding tight to the above memories and pushing forward. Have been trying very hard to attain that balance, remembering all those reflections I've done and learned throughout the summer and integrating it into my daily life now. All have been well albeit uni has been really exhausting and hectic but all I want now is just to be happy. =)

Thank you. =)

God-sent people

Spencer

Edmund

Hendric

Ying Guang

Shawn


THE Guys

Its been quite some time since I've cried so hard. I can't believe they just left and I'm really feeling the impact this very minute. This was the best trip ever, although I was visiting places which I'd been before but they brought a whole new level of fun and meaning to it.

Its really, all about the company. I'm really loss for words now. I'm tired, this is my first time skipping so many lectures, first and second tutorials of the semester and I don't even want to list out the lectures I missed but I feel that there are more important things or rather, more meaningful things to ponder upon.

After being with them for the past couple of weeks, 24/7, it feels so empty when they left. So bloody empty. When I saw the stuff they left behind, I nearly got choked by my own tears. Man, I don't know what to say now. I really miss them heaps and I'm so grateful and thankful for everything they have done. I never felt so secured and safe here before. Thanks so much, thanks for everything, I don't know what I've done to deserve such friends. You guys are god-sent.

Thanks for carrying my stuff, shifting the furniture, fixing stuff up, packing my house, paying for the groceries, carrying the groceries, waiting for me, helping me in various stuff, taking in my nonsense, not bashing me when I was being an awful street director with totally no sense of direction etc.

The stuff you guys left on the photo frame.... really touched me. The stuff you guys wrote on the notes...and the small cosy corner in the room you guys came up with, the photos and every single little thing. Just every single lil thing. Thanks. I'm becoming really incoherent but maybe I'm just so overwhelmed with emotions now I just don't know what to do.

This trip has been another learning experience. Its different to be the only girl traveling with 5 other guys. Everything was done by them and I'm feeling a lil guilty of being a constant slow-poke. It was real good fun and there were many occasions which were insanely funny.

Tongariro
Aka Mt Doom in the film LOTRs. Spencer was getting into everyone's nerves with his lousy imitation of Frodo and the ring. It was blistering cold and guys being guys, they must do something 'out of the norm' i.e. taking off their shirts at the high point with strong cold winds which numb everyone's hands.
We were probably too unprepared to complete the trek. We didn't have all the sufficient gear and weather was bad as well. Plus my lousy stamina also impeded our progress. But I felt it was a good trek, different and tough. I'll attempt to do it another time! When I'm all well-prepared!

Abel TasmanIts been ages since I'd kayaked! I have been looking forward for this part of the trip. Its a highlight for me. I wanted to visit that place again after a short trip there in 2006 and finally did this year! Kayaking was real cool - we were very well-equipped, thanks to the kayak rental company. Although the waters weren't as clear as I first saw it, but the journey was still amazing. We started off at Marahau Beach and stayed over at Anchorage hut. As there was no electricity and its pretty far from town, that place was an apt environment for star-gazing. Totally cool - never saw so many stars in my life. We played the drinking game which was good fun but causing unnecessary discomfort i.e. not being able to go to the toilet/waking up in the middle of the night a few times to make my way to the toilet in the cold and dark.

Mountain bikingPersonally, I enjoyed this part of the trip most. It kinda has this therapeutic effect to the mind and soul. Absolutely enjoyed it sans the bruises. Listening to light music, cycling along the river - perfect.

The whole experience was really way much better than what I've described but I'm just too tired to think of what to say or carry on any longer. Haven't been sleeping for quite some time already. I'll edit this whole thing again.



Thank you so much guys. As I said, what you all have done is gonna be a very strong driving force for this upcoming crazily hectic semester.

I really miss you guys. (See Hendric, I am not that indifferent after all!)