My mood and thoughts have changed drastically and I went to bed last night feeling exhilarated. Its as if my perceptions had just revolutionized in a matter of minutes.
I made a major and crucial decision last night which shocked the people who I've told including myself. They thought it was a rash decision and yes I admit it was a lil but I was never so sure that it is gonna be right. I know I'm gonna start a war in my family but I just hope they would understand my plight. My goals have never changed all along its just the method of getting there is gonna take a turn. Maybe they were too used in me succumbing to their opinions and maybe I was too used in adopting their ideas but its as if I gained 'enlightenment' last night, I have decided that I'm going my way.
There were a lot of factors impeding this decision and I never thought I would resort to such bold steps but I realized that my worries are just all arbitrary and all along I knew what I was supposed to do but I just didn't dare to do it.
Nope, my parents do not know my intentions yet, just a handful of people who I think would support my endeavour (I'm so freaking thankful for that). I will let them know when I get all the stuff more or less settled and I hope they would just accept it. I feel a lil sorry towards my parents pertaining to this decision but I'll make sure my goals remain and I have never given up all along. Maybe this would even make me a better person. Just need to bear with the nitpickings and quibbles for the moment.
To celebrate my liberation from this messy affair (as how G puts it) I ordered a regular Mocha Truffle ($5) instead of the usual small cafe latte ($3.30) at Gloria Jeans. Just digressing, but GJ is totally ripping me off - I drink something from there every single day this week and I'm quite sure the following weeks too till I get back to Singapore and I have a bad feeling that I would still be their loyal customer and travel all the way to if I'm not wrong, Borders? (The only GJ in Singapore) and get my current fav.
Anyway, basically, I hope I won't face too many carping criticisms with my decision cause... hey, you really have no basis to do so. Oh yeah, but of course...you've your freedom of expression.
Haha I totally agree with Alex that 'we're the victims of pr' haha. How true.
[edited] haha I think I just misled a few who thought that my decision is to drop law. Wrong.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
I woke up lying on a damp pillow and I was wondering what the hell just happened. And I realized my face was wet as well. It took me awhile to actually realize that I was crying. I tried to recall my dreams I had during the night and it all came flowing back. It doesn't really make sense though. I dreamt that my dad tore his ligament but still insisted on going trekking (?!?!?!). And I remembered him limping in the forest (?!?!?!!).
What does this suppose to mean?!
1) I miss my dad too much
2) I miss trekking too much
3) I'm just stress
And I vaguely remembered I'd another dream before that that one of my friends met with a mishap. But I can't remember what. Its frustrating though, when you don't have much time to sleep yet you can't sleep well. I'd another dream recently about forensic science (?!?!?)
If I'm not wrong, its the mid-autumn fest tonight and if I'm not wrong it signifies some family gathering thing or something like that. Of course, it evoked certain emotions and memories. But I know I'm not the only one away from home and this shouldn't be affecting me even a wee bit. I'm trying hard to stay on track now but, I really miss my family.
I drew up a study plan last night and whilst planning I felt numbness in my brain - I'm so gonna die this time round. Even if I start mugging this very minute I can't complete whatever there is and the fear starts rushing in. That constant prick throughout the whole day, even at dinner just now celebrating Kelvin's birthday. I saw last year's batch graduating today and their proud smirk on their face. I can't wait for my turn. It would be next year if I drop one of the degrees. But this small voice in me constantly say NO YOU STUPID ASS!!!
This is just another passing phase and I still need to get through it. Again, I'm tired, again, I miss my family and friends, again, I feel like giving up, again everything is piling up, but again, I need to go through it.
I need to start working. Start doing what I need to do. Go downtown to buy the stupid stamps to send my stupid application, read the stupid cases, do the stupid online test, read the stupid readings, go for the stupid lectures, sleep less, cook faster, focus more...everything to get through this stupid period.
Till then, I'll stop youtubing.
Happy mid-autumn fest.
I need to talk to my parents.
What does this suppose to mean?!
1) I miss my dad too much
2) I miss trekking too much
3) I'm just stress
And I vaguely remembered I'd another dream before that that one of my friends met with a mishap. But I can't remember what. Its frustrating though, when you don't have much time to sleep yet you can't sleep well. I'd another dream recently about forensic science (?!?!?)
If I'm not wrong, its the mid-autumn fest tonight and if I'm not wrong it signifies some family gathering thing or something like that. Of course, it evoked certain emotions and memories. But I know I'm not the only one away from home and this shouldn't be affecting me even a wee bit. I'm trying hard to stay on track now but, I really miss my family.
I drew up a study plan last night and whilst planning I felt numbness in my brain - I'm so gonna die this time round. Even if I start mugging this very minute I can't complete whatever there is and the fear starts rushing in. That constant prick throughout the whole day, even at dinner just now celebrating Kelvin's birthday. I saw last year's batch graduating today and their proud smirk on their face. I can't wait for my turn. It would be next year if I drop one of the degrees. But this small voice in me constantly say NO YOU STUPID ASS!!!
This is just another passing phase and I still need to get through it. Again, I'm tired, again, I miss my family and friends, again, I feel like giving up, again everything is piling up, but again, I need to go through it.
I need to start working. Start doing what I need to do. Go downtown to buy the stupid stamps to send my stupid application, read the stupid cases, do the stupid online test, read the stupid readings, go for the stupid lectures, sleep less, cook faster, focus more...everything to get through this stupid period.
Till then, I'll stop youtubing.
Happy mid-autumn fest.
I need to talk to my parents.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Otara Market, The Occidental
Otara Market
I'm not really a NZ-market kinda person, but I forced myself to go yesterday despite not sleeping the whole freaking night (2nd or 3rd time this week alr - I'm really gonna change this bad habit!)! And I knew it was the wrong choice once I was walking out. I was quite tired and sleepy and cold and lazy but nonetheless braved the winds and walked to the bus-stop to meet YC. And guess what? We missed the bus and got to wait for another 45minutes in the cold. And we paid $10.60 for a round trip to some morning market which I don't understand whats the hype bout it anyways. The only thing I got out of it was cheap veg, but considering the transportation fare, its not really THAT cheap. YC came over for awhile to transfer movies into my laptop and despite how tired I was, I couldn't help it but show her the good stuff I found on youtube! Argh! Thats my current obsession and its gonna be my downfall. After which, slept for 12 hours..and when I woke up today, I felt as if I've slept so much that I can go on not sleeping for the rest of the following week.
The Occidental
Feeling a lil guilty I decided to mug a lil and came across a very very interesting case which I would elaborate later. Supposed to do grocery shopping with Grace today but it was raining so we decided not to and knowing that I wouldn't have the time to do it next week, I've to really make use of whats left in my fridge, which is like...very little haha. But anyways, met Cheryl for dinner at the Occidental which is like a pub/restaurant kinda place with a live band. I have heard a lot about it - how good the mussels are blah blah. Someone once told me the serving is huge and its for 2. But, don't know why we ordered one each and hell! It was huge! One freaking pot (1kg of mussels) with a bowl of fries. We thought we could do a take-away but the manager said we can't because thats their company's policy. Cheryl was damn pissed and insisted that she was gonna bring it back no matter what. 'Theres always a way', she said. I thought she was kidding but NO! She was dead serious. Her mom gave me this bottle of kaya with a plastic bag wrapped around it and so, she ingeniously decided to use that. I was laughing my ass of..my god.. I was like, if we get caught, we are so dead man! I was telling her that I can't get a criminal conviction else I can never practise law. I know this ain't serious enough to result in a criminal conviction but its just humiliating to get caught taking mussels away in a freaking plastic bag. (Not using 'stealing' cause we paid for it) And so to accomplish her desire to prove her point that no one's gonna stop us from taking whats rightfully ours, I was supposed to keep a look out for the waitresses. Occasionally I've to pretend to 'search' for something in the bowl so that the waiter won't take it away and expose our plastic bag. After getting all the shells out and mussels into the plastic bag, the next challenge was to smuggle it into my bag, which was my job. So I just took it and put it inside and she stared at me in horror - you are so not discrete. We quickly paid the bill and left. I'm so not gonna go back there again! If they've a CCTV and they would be thinking - stupid asians!
Auckland Area Health Board v Attorney-General
I really like how the judge ruled in this case. I summarized it...I kinda agree with what he said, what do you think?
Facts
•Mr L is not what is called ‘brain dead’ – but brain is unable to communicate with his body or brain or vice versa
•No prospect of recovery, no therapeutic or medical benefit in continuing artificial ventilation
•If artificial ventilation is discontinued, L will suffer an almost immediate cardiac arrest and quickly but painlessly die
•Full support from Mrs L
•Doctors seeking confirmation that they would not be prosecuted – come to court seeking a declaration that what they wish to do is not unlawful
Issue
•Whether the doctors’ action in withdrawing the artificial ventilation (AV) support system from L would make them guilty of culpable homicide
•Whether the doctors would be in breach of ss151 and 164
Analysis
The Sanctity of life
•NZ BOR emphasizes the role of the law in preserving life but there are qualifications of this
•S11 BOR – everyone has the right to refuse to undergo any medical treatment
•Nancy B v Hotel-Dieu de Quebec
•Held that the use of a respirator to sustain ‘life’ was a medical treatment, but that the discontinuance of that treatment at the patient’s request would not constitute a criminal act
•Constantly keeping the patient on the respirator without her consent constituted an intrusion and interference which violated her person
•Problem arises when life passes into death but obscurely – enormous advances made in technology and medical science
•Whether life-support system is being used to sustain life or being used to defer death
The ‘living dead’
•With the advances in technology and medical skills – medical profession has rejected the notion that death is to be equated with the cessation of a person’s heartbeat – instead, it is preferred to adopt the concept of ‘brain death’
•Brain-stem death- whole of the brain has been severely destroyed and the critical functions responsible for supporting brain activity have been irretrievably lost – but breathing and heartbeat can be mechanically induced
Interpreting s151
•S151 – seeks to ensure that those who have the care of one who cannot care for him or herself supply that person with the necessaries of life
Cause of death?
•Issue – whether the withdrawal of AV would be the cause of L’s death
•Essentially – ask whether the doctor was under a duty to continue the life-support system – or had a ‘lawful excuse’ for discontinuing it
•If doctor is not under a legal duty to continue life support system – or has ‘lawful excuse’ – he has not legally caused the death of patient
•Proceed on to answer these 2 questions to determine cause of death:
The duty to provide the necessaries of life
•Medical intervention which is construe to be a necessary of life is medical intervention necessary to prevent, cure or alleviate a disease that threatened life or health
•Question – whether a AV is to be construed as a necessary of life? – no absolute answer, depend on the facts
•Provision of AV may be regarded a necessary of life where it is required to prevent, cure or alleviate a disease that endangers health or life
•However –if the patient is surviving by virtue of the mechanical means which induces heartbeat and breathing and is beyond recovery – do not consider that the provision of AV can be properly construed as necessary of life – patient has passed the point of ‘life’ – and the obligation contemplated by the section is otiose
•But this would not be the case if AV has a therapeutic or medical advantage in that it may enable a patient to live long enough to recover from the illness
•Mr L’s case – no prospect of any improvement – AV serves no purpose – cannot be regarded as a necessary of life
Lawful excuse
•Even if doctors are under a duty to provide – for purpose of s151, they would not be acting without ‘lawful excuse’
Doctors have lawful excuse to discontinue ventilation when there is no medical justification for continuing that form of medical assistance – continuation of AV may be lawful, but it does not make it unlawful to discontinue it if it accords with good medical practice
• Good medical practice – best interests of the patient, encompass the prevailing medical standards, practices, procedures, traditions which common general approval within the medical profession, specialist opinions, agreement, consultation with medical profession’s recognized ethical body, patient’s family approval
•Decision to withdraw L’s AV is supported by others and extensive tests have been carried out – assurance of good medical practice
•Physician has no duty to continue treatment, once it has proved to be ineffective – although there may be a duty to provide life-sustaining machinery in the immediate aftermath of a cardio-respiratory arrest, there is no duty to continue its use once it has become fertile in the opinion of qualified medical personnel
•Doctor must never do anything actively to kill his patient but he is not bound to fight for the patient’s life forever
•Natural death has not lost its meaning or significance, it may be deferred but not postponed indefinitely
•What is involved is not just medical treatment but medical treatment in accordance with the doctor’s best judgment as to what is the best interests to his patient
•Mr L – death is merely being deferred
S164 – Acceleration of death
•Has little or no application to this case
•Significant difference between hastening the death of a living person who may be nevertheless be terminally ill and discontinuing a life-support system which is artificially prolonging the manifestations of ‘life’
•If the doctor withdraws AV in accordance with recognized and approved medical opinion – does not act unlawfully
Decision
•Withdrawal of AV is not the cause of death as a matter of law if and when one or other of the 2 primary conditions are met – that is doctor is not under a duty to provide AV as part of necessaries of life OR has a lawful excuse for declining to do so
•Both questions then turn on whether or not the doctor has followed good medical practice and the guidelines or procedures which have been laid down
•Declaration issued
I'm not really a NZ-market kinda person, but I forced myself to go yesterday despite not sleeping the whole freaking night (2nd or 3rd time this week alr - I'm really gonna change this bad habit!)! And I knew it was the wrong choice once I was walking out. I was quite tired and sleepy and cold and lazy but nonetheless braved the winds and walked to the bus-stop to meet YC. And guess what? We missed the bus and got to wait for another 45minutes in the cold. And we paid $10.60 for a round trip to some morning market which I don't understand whats the hype bout it anyways. The only thing I got out of it was cheap veg, but considering the transportation fare, its not really THAT cheap. YC came over for awhile to transfer movies into my laptop and despite how tired I was, I couldn't help it but show her the good stuff I found on youtube! Argh! Thats my current obsession and its gonna be my downfall. After which, slept for 12 hours..and when I woke up today, I felt as if I've slept so much that I can go on not sleeping for the rest of the following week.
The Occidental
Feeling a lil guilty I decided to mug a lil and came across a very very interesting case which I would elaborate later. Supposed to do grocery shopping with Grace today but it was raining so we decided not to and knowing that I wouldn't have the time to do it next week, I've to really make use of whats left in my fridge, which is like...very little haha. But anyways, met Cheryl for dinner at the Occidental which is like a pub/restaurant kinda place with a live band. I have heard a lot about it - how good the mussels are blah blah. Someone once told me the serving is huge and its for 2. But, don't know why we ordered one each and hell! It was huge! One freaking pot (1kg of mussels) with a bowl of fries. We thought we could do a take-away but the manager said we can't because thats their company's policy. Cheryl was damn pissed and insisted that she was gonna bring it back no matter what. 'Theres always a way', she said. I thought she was kidding but NO! She was dead serious. Her mom gave me this bottle of kaya with a plastic bag wrapped around it and so, she ingeniously decided to use that. I was laughing my ass of..my god.. I was like, if we get caught, we are so dead man! I was telling her that I can't get a criminal conviction else I can never practise law. I know this ain't serious enough to result in a criminal conviction but its just humiliating to get caught taking mussels away in a freaking plastic bag. (Not using 'stealing' cause we paid for it) And so to accomplish her desire to prove her point that no one's gonna stop us from taking whats rightfully ours, I was supposed to keep a look out for the waitresses. Occasionally I've to pretend to 'search' for something in the bowl so that the waiter won't take it away and expose our plastic bag. After getting all the shells out and mussels into the plastic bag, the next challenge was to smuggle it into my bag, which was my job. So I just took it and put it inside and she stared at me in horror - you are so not discrete. We quickly paid the bill and left. I'm so not gonna go back there again! If they've a CCTV and they would be thinking - stupid asians!
Auckland Area Health Board v Attorney-General
I really like how the judge ruled in this case. I summarized it...I kinda agree with what he said, what do you think?
Facts
•Mr L is not what is called ‘brain dead’ – but brain is unable to communicate with his body or brain or vice versa
•No prospect of recovery, no therapeutic or medical benefit in continuing artificial ventilation
•If artificial ventilation is discontinued, L will suffer an almost immediate cardiac arrest and quickly but painlessly die
•Full support from Mrs L
•Doctors seeking confirmation that they would not be prosecuted – come to court seeking a declaration that what they wish to do is not unlawful
Issue
•Whether the doctors’ action in withdrawing the artificial ventilation (AV) support system from L would make them guilty of culpable homicide
•Whether the doctors would be in breach of ss151 and 164
Analysis
The Sanctity of life
•NZ BOR emphasizes the role of the law in preserving life but there are qualifications of this
•S11 BOR – everyone has the right to refuse to undergo any medical treatment
•Nancy B v Hotel-Dieu de Quebec
•Held that the use of a respirator to sustain ‘life’ was a medical treatment, but that the discontinuance of that treatment at the patient’s request would not constitute a criminal act
•Constantly keeping the patient on the respirator without her consent constituted an intrusion and interference which violated her person
•Problem arises when life passes into death but obscurely – enormous advances made in technology and medical science
•Whether life-support system is being used to sustain life or being used to defer death
The ‘living dead’
•With the advances in technology and medical skills – medical profession has rejected the notion that death is to be equated with the cessation of a person’s heartbeat – instead, it is preferred to adopt the concept of ‘brain death’
•Brain-stem death- whole of the brain has been severely destroyed and the critical functions responsible for supporting brain activity have been irretrievably lost – but breathing and heartbeat can be mechanically induced
Interpreting s151
•S151 – seeks to ensure that those who have the care of one who cannot care for him or herself supply that person with the necessaries of life
Cause of death?
•Issue – whether the withdrawal of AV would be the cause of L’s death
•Essentially – ask whether the doctor was under a duty to continue the life-support system – or had a ‘lawful excuse’ for discontinuing it
•If doctor is not under a legal duty to continue life support system – or has ‘lawful excuse’ – he has not legally caused the death of patient
•Proceed on to answer these 2 questions to determine cause of death:
The duty to provide the necessaries of life
•Medical intervention which is construe to be a necessary of life is medical intervention necessary to prevent, cure or alleviate a disease that threatened life or health
•Question – whether a AV is to be construed as a necessary of life? – no absolute answer, depend on the facts
•Provision of AV may be regarded a necessary of life where it is required to prevent, cure or alleviate a disease that endangers health or life
•However –if the patient is surviving by virtue of the mechanical means which induces heartbeat and breathing and is beyond recovery – do not consider that the provision of AV can be properly construed as necessary of life – patient has passed the point of ‘life’ – and the obligation contemplated by the section is otiose
•But this would not be the case if AV has a therapeutic or medical advantage in that it may enable a patient to live long enough to recover from the illness
•Mr L’s case – no prospect of any improvement – AV serves no purpose – cannot be regarded as a necessary of life
Lawful excuse
•Even if doctors are under a duty to provide – for purpose of s151, they would not be acting without ‘lawful excuse’
Doctors have lawful excuse to discontinue ventilation when there is no medical justification for continuing that form of medical assistance – continuation of AV may be lawful, but it does not make it unlawful to discontinue it if it accords with good medical practice
• Good medical practice – best interests of the patient, encompass the prevailing medical standards, practices, procedures, traditions which common general approval within the medical profession, specialist opinions, agreement, consultation with medical profession’s recognized ethical body, patient’s family approval
•Decision to withdraw L’s AV is supported by others and extensive tests have been carried out – assurance of good medical practice
•Physician has no duty to continue treatment, once it has proved to be ineffective – although there may be a duty to provide life-sustaining machinery in the immediate aftermath of a cardio-respiratory arrest, there is no duty to continue its use once it has become fertile in the opinion of qualified medical personnel
•Doctor must never do anything actively to kill his patient but he is not bound to fight for the patient’s life forever
•Natural death has not lost its meaning or significance, it may be deferred but not postponed indefinitely
•What is involved is not just medical treatment but medical treatment in accordance with the doctor’s best judgment as to what is the best interests to his patient
•Mr L – death is merely being deferred
S164 – Acceleration of death
•Has little or no application to this case
•Significant difference between hastening the death of a living person who may be nevertheless be terminally ill and discontinuing a life-support system which is artificially prolonging the manifestations of ‘life’
•If the doctor withdraws AV in accordance with recognized and approved medical opinion – does not act unlawfully
Decision
•Withdrawal of AV is not the cause of death as a matter of law if and when one or other of the 2 primary conditions are met – that is doctor is not under a duty to provide AV as part of necessaries of life OR has a lawful excuse for declining to do so
•Both questions then turn on whether or not the doctor has followed good medical practice and the guidelines or procedures which have been laid down
•Declaration issued
Thursday, September 20, 2007
A Series of Unfortunate Events
1) Handed in my worst essay ever written (Global history)
2) Nearly got knocked by a car again - I thought he was moving out but he was actually reversing and I couldn't hear his horns because my ipod was blasting into my ears
3) Scars of the burnt won't go away
4) Stomach ache after eating expired bread - I thought it looked o.k.
5) Don't know why but I feel that I can't breathe properly sometimes
6) Can't study
Hmm... well all these are making me feel frustrated at times but they are just minute situations which I think I can still handle them. But whats disturbing me are these...
1) Mrs Serene Ng just passed away due to some delivery complications. She never taught me before but she was my teacher-in-charge for Math Olympiad in Cedar when I was in Sec1. She's known to be pretty and nice teacher. What a pity to depart the world at such a young age - leaving her whole family behind.
2) My friend's father passed away recently.
3) My friend's mother passed away recently.
4) My friend's sibling is diagnosed with cancer.
5) My cousin's girlfriend attempted suicide.
F***! I never thought such things would happen around me but it recently did, one after the other. I'm not particularly close to any of them but its still disturbing. I wonder how are they taking things now? They are no doubt, 100xs braver than me. There are many occasions which I'd dreamed about my loved ones dying and waking up in tears. I realized that its damn freaking scary and its gonna take so much courage and will to overcome that loss.
I remembered when I was a kid in primary school, my Chinese teacher was punishing one of my classmates because she didn't ask her parents to sign her ting xie (spelling test). She said that her mom wasn't in. My teacher shouted at her, 'jiao ni ba ba qian!' (Ask your dad to sign it!) And she was helplessly crying in front of the class saying, 'Ta si le' (He is dead). I remembered that scene so damn clearly.
And then there was a time a schoolmate's dad was killed in JB in some robbery because he wanted to protect her and got shot instead.
And then there was a time a schoolmate passed away due to leukemia.
I was never profoundly closed to them but these news always shake me back to reality, that yes, anything can happen, and yes, life is that fragile.
I don't like partings. All types. I mean who likes it anyway? But some learned to accept it but I guess I'm very susceptible to it. (I'm quite ashamed to say that I still cried like a kid the SECOND time I left for NZ and I know I still will the 3rd,4th,5th...10th time no matter how hard I control) But there was one particular time I didn't.
It was my Grandmom's funeral, a week before I left for NZ. I never shed a tear throughout the whole 5days. No, not that I hate her or anything, in fact she gained my utmost respect. I felt guilty initially, when everyone was mourning and crying I asked myself, how can I not even tear!? But I guess, I felt that she left us with peace. She spent her whole life struggling - paying debts, bringing up her children, supporting the family, waiting for her husband's return for 10 years, dealing with a son who is a gambler and despite all her struggles, she never got anything in return, up till her last day in this world. My mom said she was a kind soul - too kind, too nice but just didn't know how to be a lil more tactful. She suffered her whole life and I guess her passing was a form of relief to her.
I didn't sleep a few nights during her funeral, burning incense paper next to her coffin and keeping the cats out. Most of the time I was alone till the next morning - but it didn't feel all that scary. I wonder why...
But I'd a dream one night - her image was blur but I could hear her voice, speaking to me in hokkien, 'Ling ah, very painful... very painful...'
Till this day, I never told any one in my family. I don't know why, maybe I'm just uncomfortable saying it, maybe I want to believe that I remembered my dream wrongly, maybe I just don't want my mom to feel even worse.
Death...it happens every day, every minute, every second yet its so hard to accept. And those who'd experience a loss of a loved one, you're a hero/heroine in your own right and I respect you for that.
Life isn't too kind to you, but I'm sure your loved one would be smiling with pride somewhere out there.
2) Nearly got knocked by a car again - I thought he was moving out but he was actually reversing and I couldn't hear his horns because my ipod was blasting into my ears
3) Scars of the burnt won't go away
4) Stomach ache after eating expired bread - I thought it looked o.k.
5) Don't know why but I feel that I can't breathe properly sometimes
6) Can't study
Hmm... well all these are making me feel frustrated at times but they are just minute situations which I think I can still handle them. But whats disturbing me are these...
1) Mrs Serene Ng just passed away due to some delivery complications. She never taught me before but she was my teacher-in-charge for Math Olympiad in Cedar when I was in Sec1. She's known to be pretty and nice teacher. What a pity to depart the world at such a young age - leaving her whole family behind.
2) My friend's father passed away recently.
3) My friend's mother passed away recently.
4) My friend's sibling is diagnosed with cancer.
5) My cousin's girlfriend attempted suicide.
F***! I never thought such things would happen around me but it recently did, one after the other. I'm not particularly close to any of them but its still disturbing. I wonder how are they taking things now? They are no doubt, 100xs braver than me. There are many occasions which I'd dreamed about my loved ones dying and waking up in tears. I realized that its damn freaking scary and its gonna take so much courage and will to overcome that loss.
I remembered when I was a kid in primary school, my Chinese teacher was punishing one of my classmates because she didn't ask her parents to sign her ting xie (spelling test). She said that her mom wasn't in. My teacher shouted at her, 'jiao ni ba ba qian!' (Ask your dad to sign it!) And she was helplessly crying in front of the class saying, 'Ta si le' (He is dead). I remembered that scene so damn clearly.
And then there was a time a schoolmate's dad was killed in JB in some robbery because he wanted to protect her and got shot instead.
And then there was a time a schoolmate passed away due to leukemia.
I was never profoundly closed to them but these news always shake me back to reality, that yes, anything can happen, and yes, life is that fragile.
I don't like partings. All types. I mean who likes it anyway? But some learned to accept it but I guess I'm very susceptible to it. (I'm quite ashamed to say that I still cried like a kid the SECOND time I left for NZ and I know I still will the 3rd,4th,5th...10th time no matter how hard I control) But there was one particular time I didn't.
It was my Grandmom's funeral, a week before I left for NZ. I never shed a tear throughout the whole 5days. No, not that I hate her or anything, in fact she gained my utmost respect. I felt guilty initially, when everyone was mourning and crying I asked myself, how can I not even tear!? But I guess, I felt that she left us with peace. She spent her whole life struggling - paying debts, bringing up her children, supporting the family, waiting for her husband's return for 10 years, dealing with a son who is a gambler and despite all her struggles, she never got anything in return, up till her last day in this world. My mom said she was a kind soul - too kind, too nice but just didn't know how to be a lil more tactful. She suffered her whole life and I guess her passing was a form of relief to her.
I didn't sleep a few nights during her funeral, burning incense paper next to her coffin and keeping the cats out. Most of the time I was alone till the next morning - but it didn't feel all that scary. I wonder why...
But I'd a dream one night - her image was blur but I could hear her voice, speaking to me in hokkien, 'Ling ah, very painful... very painful...'
Till this day, I never told any one in my family. I don't know why, maybe I'm just uncomfortable saying it, maybe I want to believe that I remembered my dream wrongly, maybe I just don't want my mom to feel even worse.
Death...it happens every day, every minute, every second yet its so hard to accept. And those who'd experience a loss of a loved one, you're a hero/heroine in your own right and I respect you for that.
Life isn't too kind to you, but I'm sure your loved one would be smiling with pride somewhere out there.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Food - again
I've a goal - to set up a cafe/restaurant or something related to food (to celebrate my love for food haha) and maybe I'll name it 'Ode to Food'. And I'd all these small lil ideas about how the restaurant would look like, what kinda food it would serve, where would it be, how should I go about managing it, should it be a la carte, or maybe buffet style (like kushin bo but 10times better!) or maybe it would a fine dining restaurant (like raffles grill).
And I'll be the boss, once in awhile coming in to check on the food, talk to the customers, do the accounts, deciding whether to expand the business or not, maybe once in awhile I'll cook. Haha yup, I'm day-dreaming. And as and when I like, I'll go in and eat whatever I want. Eat and eat and eat and eat. That would be perfect!
Or maybe I'll open another chain of 'Kopitiams'. Thats even better! All the local food would be in MY Kopitiam!!!
Yeah thats one of the greatest sacrifice I made to come over to NZ! No more hawker food! But, thank god theres Prima pre-mix. Thats like the best substitute for hawker food. And coming here forced me to learn how to cook local dishes. I mean, it doesn't taste exactly like it, but theres just a tinge of similarity which is good enough!
I thought I loved cooking, but now I realize I only like it. After that time I tried cooking for 8 people, I promised myself I'm not going to do that again!
This took me at least 5 freaking hours. And I was so dead tired after that. Several weeks later they said they've a craving for chicken rice and if they can come to my place to cook. My first reaction was NO! Chicken rice is just too much trouble! You gotta buy so much stuff and take damn freaking long to just boil the darn broth. But at last I relented when they said they'd the premix.
Haha, its just too tiring when you do it everyday. Last time, I gained personal pleasure if what I cooked tastes nice. Now, I just want to get it done in the shortest time. So everyday is like a small competition against time. See if I can break the previous day's record. Cooking while washing and trying to do everything simultaneously. On the right its cooking, center is preparing, left is washing. Erm, its kinda exciting (Self-entertainment) cause you gotta do everything damn quickly so your food don't get burnt but in the end you get burnt haha. I got scalded at an unprecedented rate recently - 2 times in 2 days! So the rate is 1 per day which sounds quite a number considering the pain. And I thought the scars would just fade away, but apparently not! Its like a patch of cooked meat. Haha.
Which comes to the point of:
Reasons why I need a Brandt Induction Hob
1) Time and cost savings
2) Wide cooking possibilities
3) Say goodbye to burnt dishes - there is no longer a need to watch over the pots as the hobis fitted with a timer and auto shut-off device
4) Worry about spills no more! - a simple wipe with a sponge is enough to clean any mess on the glass surface - HEAT IS ONLY PRODUCED AT POINT OF CONTACT WITH SAUCEPAN - THEREFORE SPILLS DO NOT BURN ONTO THE GLASS SURFACE (WAHHHHHHH!!! I WANT!!)
5) Child safety - prevents accidental start up of hob, cool hob surface means reduced risks of burns, unlike gas or electric hobs
Conclusion - peace of mind
But theres a catch to it! It costs around $2000-$3000? Yeah. I know. WHATTTTT THATS DAMN EXPENSIVE!! (But my 21st is coming you know...)
But its not worth it to get that - its a luxury item which is unnecessary unless I'm damn freaking rich with too much money to splurge.
That amount of money can buy me a car here man! Thats even better. I don't need to walk the stupid slope after grocery shopping. The food monster came alive in me the other day I went grocery shopping with Grace. I got so excited and bought so much, forgetting that I've to actually carry them. So I bought 3litres of orange juice, 1litre milk, heaps of veg which is not exactly light either, few packets of meat, fishballs, tofu, instant noodles, blah blah blah and to my horror I was way over my budget and it was so heavy. I guess I'll never learn my lesson. When I was climbing up the slope with all those stuff I suddenly felt like I was carrying that 15kg bag during trekking in benom (was it benom? I forgot.) Haha and then Grace insisted that she is going to give me a trolley (those ah ma trolley which you see housewives pushing in wet markets) for my 21st. NOO!! I'm going to be 21 NOT 51. I can't imagine me pushing that here. They would be like..stupid Asian, what is she doing?!
Ok stupid post. Read this which is way more enriching than what I've written above.
'Let's supposed 2 firemen go into a forest to put out a small fire. Afterwards, when they emerge and go to a stream, the face of one is all smeared with black, while the other man's face is complete clean. My question is this: which of the 2 will wash his face?
Marie, 'That's a silly question. The one with the dirty face of course.'
No, the one with the dirty face will look at the other man and assume that he looks like him. And vice versa, the man with the clean face will see his colleague covered in grime and say to himself: I must be dirty too. I'd better have a wash.
Marie, 'What are you trying to say?'
I'm saying that, during the time I spent in the hospital, I came to realise that I was always looking for myself in the women I loved. I looked at their lovely, clean faces and saw myself reflected in them. They,on the other hand, looked at me and saw the dirt on my face and, however intelligent or self-confident they were, they ended up seeing themselves reflected in me and thinking that they were worse than they were. Please, don't let that happen to you.
I would like to have added: that's what happened to Esther, and I've only just realised it, remembering now how the look in her eyes changed, I'd always absorbed her life and her energy, and that made me feel happy and confident, able to go forward. She, on the other hand, had looked at me and felt ugly, diminished, because, as the years passed, my career - the career that she had done so much to make a reality - had relegated our relationship to 2nd place.
If I was to see her again, my face needed to be as clean as hers. Before I could find her, I must first find myself.'
Paulo Coelho
And I'll be the boss, once in awhile coming in to check on the food, talk to the customers, do the accounts, deciding whether to expand the business or not, maybe once in awhile I'll cook. Haha yup, I'm day-dreaming. And as and when I like, I'll go in and eat whatever I want. Eat and eat and eat and eat. That would be perfect!
Or maybe I'll open another chain of 'Kopitiams'. Thats even better! All the local food would be in MY Kopitiam!!!
Yeah thats one of the greatest sacrifice I made to come over to NZ! No more hawker food! But, thank god theres Prima pre-mix. Thats like the best substitute for hawker food. And coming here forced me to learn how to cook local dishes. I mean, it doesn't taste exactly like it, but theres just a tinge of similarity which is good enough!
I thought I loved cooking, but now I realize I only like it. After that time I tried cooking for 8 people, I promised myself I'm not going to do that again!
This took me at least 5 freaking hours. And I was so dead tired after that. Several weeks later they said they've a craving for chicken rice and if they can come to my place to cook. My first reaction was NO! Chicken rice is just too much trouble! You gotta buy so much stuff and take damn freaking long to just boil the darn broth. But at last I relented when they said they'd the premix.
Haha, its just too tiring when you do it everyday. Last time, I gained personal pleasure if what I cooked tastes nice. Now, I just want to get it done in the shortest time. So everyday is like a small competition against time. See if I can break the previous day's record. Cooking while washing and trying to do everything simultaneously. On the right its cooking, center is preparing, left is washing. Erm, its kinda exciting (Self-entertainment) cause you gotta do everything damn quickly so your food don't get burnt but in the end you get burnt haha. I got scalded at an unprecedented rate recently - 2 times in 2 days! So the rate is 1 per day which sounds quite a number considering the pain. And I thought the scars would just fade away, but apparently not! Its like a patch of cooked meat. Haha.
Which comes to the point of:
Reasons why I need a Brandt Induction Hob
1) Time and cost savings
2) Wide cooking possibilities
3) Say goodbye to burnt dishes - there is no longer a need to watch over the pots as the hobis fitted with a timer and auto shut-off device
4) Worry about spills no more! - a simple wipe with a sponge is enough to clean any mess on the glass surface - HEAT IS ONLY PRODUCED AT POINT OF CONTACT WITH SAUCEPAN - THEREFORE SPILLS DO NOT BURN ONTO THE GLASS SURFACE (WAHHHHHHH!!! I WANT!!)
5) Child safety - prevents accidental start up of hob, cool hob surface means reduced risks of burns, unlike gas or electric hobs
Conclusion - peace of mind
But theres a catch to it! It costs around $2000-$3000? Yeah. I know. WHATTTTT THATS DAMN EXPENSIVE!! (But my 21st is coming you know...)
But its not worth it to get that - its a luxury item which is unnecessary unless I'm damn freaking rich with too much money to splurge.
That amount of money can buy me a car here man! Thats even better. I don't need to walk the stupid slope after grocery shopping. The food monster came alive in me the other day I went grocery shopping with Grace. I got so excited and bought so much, forgetting that I've to actually carry them. So I bought 3litres of orange juice, 1litre milk, heaps of veg which is not exactly light either, few packets of meat, fishballs, tofu, instant noodles, blah blah blah and to my horror I was way over my budget and it was so heavy. I guess I'll never learn my lesson. When I was climbing up the slope with all those stuff I suddenly felt like I was carrying that 15kg bag during trekking in benom (was it benom? I forgot.) Haha and then Grace insisted that she is going to give me a trolley (those ah ma trolley which you see housewives pushing in wet markets) for my 21st. NOO!! I'm going to be 21 NOT 51. I can't imagine me pushing that here. They would be like..stupid Asian, what is she doing?!
Ok stupid post. Read this which is way more enriching than what I've written above.
'Let's supposed 2 firemen go into a forest to put out a small fire. Afterwards, when they emerge and go to a stream, the face of one is all smeared with black, while the other man's face is complete clean. My question is this: which of the 2 will wash his face?
Marie, 'That's a silly question. The one with the dirty face of course.'
No, the one with the dirty face will look at the other man and assume that he looks like him. And vice versa, the man with the clean face will see his colleague covered in grime and say to himself: I must be dirty too. I'd better have a wash.
Marie, 'What are you trying to say?'
I'm saying that, during the time I spent in the hospital, I came to realise that I was always looking for myself in the women I loved. I looked at their lovely, clean faces and saw myself reflected in them. They,on the other hand, looked at me and saw the dirt on my face and, however intelligent or self-confident they were, they ended up seeing themselves reflected in me and thinking that they were worse than they were. Please, don't let that happen to you.
I would like to have added: that's what happened to Esther, and I've only just realised it, remembering now how the look in her eyes changed, I'd always absorbed her life and her energy, and that made me feel happy and confident, able to go forward. She, on the other hand, had looked at me and felt ugly, diminished, because, as the years passed, my career - the career that she had done so much to make a reality - had relegated our relationship to 2nd place.
If I was to see her again, my face needed to be as clean as hers. Before I could find her, I must first find myself.'
Paulo Coelho
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Songs
I just finished the first draft of my #$%^& history essay! And yup! The outcome was like @#$%^ too!
So the past week had been an essay week. I thought I've spent quite a satisfactory amount of time on it but I realize - not really. I was doing my essay for the whole week. But whilst doing, I was also
1)you-tubing
2)i-tunings
3)eating
4)snacking
5)drinking
6)dvd-ing
7)day-dreaming
8)planning
9)thinking
10)msn-ing
And nope, I can't multi-task. I think I can't even single-task. I need to partial-task. Haha if that makes any sense to you.
Been listening and downloading heaps of songs recently and to my horror... when I listened a lil closer, some songs have totally senseless, weird, hilarious lyrics!
What was the lyricist thinking about when he wrote all these???!!
I'm coming by Rain:
Rain is coming down through the rooftop
HAHAHAHHAHAHA OMG! He thinks Rain is a Santa Claus.
老鼠愛大米:
我愛你 愛著你 就像老鼠愛大米
I didn't know mice loves big rice. And I'll be real pissed if someone says that to me. You mean I look like a big rice to you!? Ok, you look like a mice to me.
Big girls don't cry by Fergie:
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket
I really liked this song initially but some how I just got irritated by that sentence haha.
Mr Q by Jolin Tsai:
HEY U, Mr. Q
愛你耍Q的指數
電流像瀑布 好像重力加速度
你又殺 又無辜 與生俱來的功夫
加快腳步 要加入連署
Huuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh???
Never Say Goodbye by Mario ft Nasty:
Without you I’m better no one could do it better
Hello cute nasty best mc
Mario right tight all night that’s right, yo
Illogic real toxic switch quicker than tectonic
Heterosexual the kids flow is incredible
........thats really illogical.
Perfect Man by Shinhwa:
See time don't stop, the crime don't stop,
So I won't stop till I'm sittin' on top,
to every home phone and a cells gets parked,
and every hard top get chopped to we drop don't have
Stop! Stop! Stop!
And what trumps the rest in my list of nonsensical lyrics is...
I.O.I.O. by S.H.E.:
SO I SAY
愛我 I I I I I I O I O (x4)
SO COME ON
愛我 I I I I I I O I O (x2)
Ahhhhh!!!! I hate this song! Its also ranked number 1 in my list of act-cute songs! Congrats S.H.E.! What is I.O.?!?! Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
But! There are some lyrics which I think, are really nice!
外婆 by Jay Chou:
外婆她脸上的涟漪 美丽但藏不住压抑
失去了爱情只盼望亲情 弥补回应
大人们以为出门之前桌上放六佰就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命 赚钱少了关怀有什么意义
外婆她的期待 慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白 她要的是陪伴
而不是六佰块 比你給的还简单
Damn... really love the way he wrote it. Although I can't really get it when he sings it.
我吃得起苦 by 动力火车
走出去 就有路
寻见了 就有福
拥有了一切 都进了包袱
思念是带不走的
天空 疑云密布
心中 翻腾起伏
虽将飘摇 前途仍模糊
此地会是我 衣锦还乡处
飘洋过海 我吃得起苦
相信天无绝人之路
现实有咒诅 梦里有祝福
有缘同舟 风雨同渡
顶着烈日当空 眼底有迷雾
不能再让懦弱困住
日子多坎坷 命运有变数
只盼久旱逢甘露
This song is just...damn meaningful.
I guess the most meaningful and most nonsensical lyrics in my list are all from Chinese songs!
So the past week had been an essay week. I thought I've spent quite a satisfactory amount of time on it but I realize - not really. I was doing my essay for the whole week. But whilst doing, I was also
1)you-tubing
2)i-tunings
3)eating
4)snacking
5)drinking
6)dvd-ing
7)day-dreaming
8)planning
9)thinking
10)msn-ing
And nope, I can't multi-task. I think I can't even single-task. I need to partial-task. Haha if that makes any sense to you.
Been listening and downloading heaps of songs recently and to my horror... when I listened a lil closer, some songs have totally senseless, weird, hilarious lyrics!
What was the lyricist thinking about when he wrote all these???!!
I'm coming by Rain:
Rain is coming down through the rooftop
HAHAHAHHAHAHA OMG! He thinks Rain is a Santa Claus.
老鼠愛大米:
我愛你 愛著你 就像老鼠愛大米
I didn't know mice loves big rice. And I'll be real pissed if someone says that to me. You mean I look like a big rice to you!? Ok, you look like a mice to me.
Big girls don't cry by Fergie:
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses her blanket
I really liked this song initially but some how I just got irritated by that sentence haha.
Mr Q by Jolin Tsai:
HEY U, Mr. Q
愛你耍Q的指數
電流像瀑布 好像重力加速度
你又殺 又無辜 與生俱來的功夫
加快腳步 要加入連署
Huuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh???
Never Say Goodbye by Mario ft Nasty:
Without you I’m better no one could do it better
Hello cute nasty best mc
Mario right tight all night that’s right, yo
Illogic real toxic switch quicker than tectonic
Heterosexual the kids flow is incredible
........thats really illogical.
Perfect Man by Shinhwa:
See time don't stop, the crime don't stop,
So I won't stop till I'm sittin' on top,
to every home phone and a cells gets parked,
and every hard top get chopped to we drop don't have
Stop! Stop! Stop!
And what trumps the rest in my list of nonsensical lyrics is...
I.O.I.O. by S.H.E.:
SO I SAY
愛我 I I I I I I O I O (x4)
SO COME ON
愛我 I I I I I I O I O (x2)
Ahhhhh!!!! I hate this song! Its also ranked number 1 in my list of act-cute songs! Congrats S.H.E.! What is I.O.?!?! Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
But! There are some lyrics which I think, are really nice!
外婆 by Jay Chou:
外婆她脸上的涟漪 美丽但藏不住压抑
失去了爱情只盼望亲情 弥补回应
大人们以为出门之前桌上放六佰就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命 赚钱少了关怀有什么意义
外婆她的期待 慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白 她要的是陪伴
而不是六佰块 比你給的还简单
Damn... really love the way he wrote it. Although I can't really get it when he sings it.
我吃得起苦 by 动力火车
走出去 就有路
寻见了 就有福
拥有了一切 都进了包袱
思念是带不走的
天空 疑云密布
心中 翻腾起伏
虽将飘摇 前途仍模糊
此地会是我 衣锦还乡处
飘洋过海 我吃得起苦
相信天无绝人之路
现实有咒诅 梦里有祝福
有缘同舟 风雨同渡
顶着烈日当空 眼底有迷雾
不能再让懦弱困住
日子多坎坷 命运有变数
只盼久旱逢甘露
This song is just...damn meaningful.
I guess the most meaningful and most nonsensical lyrics in my list are all from Chinese songs!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
=)
And yes, hols just ended. And yes, I didn't study as much as I should. And yes, I still haven't take my learners. And yes, I didn't do my notes. And yes, I didn't do my essay. And yes, I've been eating too much.
Hmm....what happened to my hols. As usual.
Hahah talking about eating too much, I think most people who go overseas just put on heaps of weight! Recently,I met up with a friend and I totally didn't recognize him at first cause he put on so much weight! And apparently my bro put on 10kg. Oh no.. I'll be the next victim.
Well I was kinda screwed the past few days but its all good now. Sometimes when everything goes wrong, you just gotta stop what you're doing, put everything down and go out for a dinner or a drink. It will do you good.
I can't believe its the 2nd part of the 2nd semester already. I mean, I can still remember vividly what was I doing last year! Damn...time really flies man. I can't wait to get over next week - thats when everything is due. And despite that, I just got started on my history essay and all the reference books are GONE - the only alternative is to get them from short loan which is utterly troublesome cause I can't do my work at night or at home. Whenever I say I'm doing global history as my gen ed paper, everyone would give me the why-the-hell-are-you-doing-that kinda face cause... yeah its kinda stupid choice cause its difficult. But I reckon it would be useful and I should be able to handle it - but hell no! I can never handle essays!
Uni essays are NOT GP essays. You take half the time trying to understand the question and when you thought you understood it and try writing about it, half way through you realize that its crap and you've missed some main points which you never knew existed and then you gotta change your whole darn essay. And when you finally THOUGHT you've completed it, NO! There are still citations and referencing and proof reading and heaps of editing and summarizing and blah blah blah.
But the worst is not that. Every faculty has their own style of writing, own way of citing, own way of referencing and marking. First, I started off with commerce - Econs using some APA method, then it was law, then it was management, then its now history. And the way they do it is totally different and its confusing and pissing me off! This is called - asking for trouble. Next time, just stick to the easy option.
We're currently going through inchoate crimes such as conspiracy in crim now and...HAHAHA some cases are really funny!! Like D trying to make cocaine from icing sugar etc etc.
Yup, I'm in a good mood today, despite waking up late, despite having a headache the whole day, despite burning myself while cooking, its still good.
Hmm....what happened to my hols. As usual.
Hahah talking about eating too much, I think most people who go overseas just put on heaps of weight! Recently,I met up with a friend and I totally didn't recognize him at first cause he put on so much weight! And apparently my bro put on 10kg. Oh no.. I'll be the next victim.
Well I was kinda screwed the past few days but its all good now. Sometimes when everything goes wrong, you just gotta stop what you're doing, put everything down and go out for a dinner or a drink. It will do you good.
I can't believe its the 2nd part of the 2nd semester already. I mean, I can still remember vividly what was I doing last year! Damn...time really flies man. I can't wait to get over next week - thats when everything is due. And despite that, I just got started on my history essay and all the reference books are GONE - the only alternative is to get them from short loan which is utterly troublesome cause I can't do my work at night or at home. Whenever I say I'm doing global history as my gen ed paper, everyone would give me the why-the-hell-are-you-doing-that kinda face cause... yeah its kinda stupid choice cause its difficult. But I reckon it would be useful and I should be able to handle it - but hell no! I can never handle essays!
Uni essays are NOT GP essays. You take half the time trying to understand the question and when you thought you understood it and try writing about it, half way through you realize that its crap and you've missed some main points which you never knew existed and then you gotta change your whole darn essay. And when you finally THOUGHT you've completed it, NO! There are still citations and referencing and proof reading and heaps of editing and summarizing and blah blah blah.
But the worst is not that. Every faculty has their own style of writing, own way of citing, own way of referencing and marking. First, I started off with commerce - Econs using some APA method, then it was law, then it was management, then its now history. And the way they do it is totally different and its confusing and pissing me off! This is called - asking for trouble. Next time, just stick to the easy option.
We're currently going through inchoate crimes such as conspiracy in crim now and...HAHAHA some cases are really funny!! Like D trying to make cocaine from icing sugar etc etc.
Yup, I'm in a good mood today, despite waking up late, despite having a headache the whole day, despite burning myself while cooking, its still good.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I am tired of this
Well here we go one more time
I tried to climb your steps, I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way, I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this
So when will this end
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop
Till I step down from this for good
I never thought Id end up here
I never thought Id be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
Cause I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way, I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this,
So when will this end
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop
Till I step down from this
Sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle yeah
If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I am tired of this
Well here we go one more time
I tried to climb your steps, I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way, I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this
So when will this end
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop
Till I step down from this for good
I never thought Id end up here
I never thought Id be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time
Cause I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way, I tried to change this mind
You better believe that I tried to beat this,
So when will this end
It goes on and on
And over and over and over again
Keep spinning around I know that it wont stop
Till I step down from this
Sick cycle carousel, this is a sick cycle, yeah
Sick cycle carousel
This is a sick cycle yeah
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Texts
I'm practically blogging EVERYDAY. Thats probably due to it being the hols.
Anyway, I didn't intend to, until I switched on my previous phone to check some stuff.
Its been ages since I've used that phone. My dad persuaded me to trade it in and get some money out of it but I refused. Because... its so precious to me! All the texts since J1.
I panicked when I couldn't turn the phone on. I changed the battery and charged it and at last....YES! The familiar nokia tune played. After checking what I need, I randomly read some of my inbox texts and man...it was hilarious!!!
HAHAHA THOSE were the days man.. JC days..hahahahahhah.
Some idiot texted me this before exams (if you know who you are):
Hey woohoo! Good luck!!! I suddenly thought of this stupid unseen poem! Wish you good luck wish you bad luck wish you born a baby duck!! Yay!
Me: ............. = . = OK.
And when someone was late but refused to admit it was her mistake, she said she was sick. I asked her what illness. She replied:
ass cancer.
Me: ............. YEAH RIGHT.
I asked XX why Y didn't reply my text, XX said:
Dunno. She always take 10 years to see e msg and another 10 years to reply and another 10 years to send. So you'll get her msg when ur 48 yrs old.
Me: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Then there were the times before exams:
Ehx...Pon sch on wed and we mug like siao!
That was why I started ponning JC and wasting time queuing in the Polyclinic for MC - which is kinda stupid cause by the time I get my MC, school is over.
And there was this time during math prelims, I had a mental block and walked out. I was freaking disturbed by it but I received this text:
So damn wasted!! But u rock man! Did u tear ur paper?
Me: !!!!!! Don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And when I was on a cruise someone texted me:
Hope you hit the iceberg and sink.
Me: wth...
Then it was the time which I had to leave for NZ, 11 Feb 2006:
Hl how u feeling today? Congrats on ya dream.
i want to see a happier huiling when you return next year. gonna miss your stupid face, stupid laughters, the stupid you.
sucker what will i do when you go overseas. you suck to the core. you suck like a vacuum cleaner.
Seems like all the texts are cursing me. But it just gives me such a homely feeling. Haha I really miss home tonight. Really really do. I even thought of what I'm gonna eat - To fu hua (Pin le), Ba Chor mee, Kway chup, Wantan mee (Kovan), Char kuay teow, Chee chong fan, chicken rice, fried carrot cake (Ang Mo Kio), Ban mian (S11), Lor Mee, Mee Rebus, Mee Siam, Hor fan, Zi char, Zhu za tang, Ba kut teh, Sting ray, Kang kong, Mee Goreng, Nasi Lemak (Serangoon), Prawn noodle, Sheng mian (Serangoon) etc etc. ROOOAARRRR!!!!! I'll go on a food binge once I land!! If only they have like..small portions so I can taste EVERYTHING in 1 meal. And I'll abstain from my cooking!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG! AND HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THIS!! KUSHIN BO! I'M GONNA EAT EVERYTHING THEY HAVE THERE!!! OH! OH! AND ROTI PRATA! HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THAT! Shit! I'll go on about this forever! How did I even end up talking about food...I thought I was talking about friends. OH YEAH AND HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THE SUPER CHEAP PAO PAO CHAR!!! I'LL DRINK AT LEAST 1 CUP A DAY. OH NO AND SUGAR CANE ALSO!!!
Ok, all the stores in Kovan hawker centre is running through my mind. I can even remember the shop's order. OH YEAH! STILL GOT! YONG TAO FU!! ok..I'm gonna stop talking about food for awhile. Shit... I really love eating you know. OH YA!!! AND COROCHAN! and also old chang kee! and that TORI Q! and also EDO SUSHI! and LONG JOHN SILVER! KFC! MAC! MOSS!
OK I'LL STOP!!! Talking about that, I was arguing with Grace that I'm not that greedy and I CAN lose weight. So we bet - if I lose 3kg during this hols, she is gonna treat me 2 drinks from Gloria Jeans or else I'm the one who is treating. I was so damn sure I was gonna win but apparently not. They are coming back tomorrow and not only I didn't lose weight I think I gained weight. Haha. Thats so...me. Damn... I can't believe I've to pay for her drinks. And its not cheap at all. I just received 2 letters just now - 1 from studylink (student loan) another from Bank of NZ.
Student loan - Total loan balance: $5699
Bank of NZ - Statement of Accounts: $59.46
Omg my loan is 100 times the amount of money I have in my account. Ha ha. I really don't need to be worried of getting robbed. And I still need to pay for someone else's drinks.
OMG I NEARLY FORGOT TO MENTION SERANGOON's ZI CHAR STORE's CURRY FISH HEAD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA I must print this entry out when I reach Singapore and make sure I eat everything.
Oh...my main purpose of this entry is not about food! Its about texts! I just remembered when I saw my title. I wanted to say (I can't believe I'm gonna say this. I'm cringing!) I miss all of you!!! Even if you curse me, you trash me, you suaned me, you pissed me off, you're nonsensical, you don't make sense - THANK YOU.
Maybe you all should consider treating me with ALL THE FOOD I've listed above!!!
LALALLAAL ONLY FOOD MAKES ME THIS HIGH!
OH YEAH I FORGOT! Theres still more: Swensons (black pepper seafood pasta), Secret Recipe, Ding Tai Feng, Crystal Jade (Porridge, the plain dont know what onion la mian, hor fan), Fish and Co (Mussels with the dont know what lemon butter sauce, sambal fish with rice), Tepenyaki, hokkien noodles..............................................
ok...I'm really gonna stop. Else I'm gonna fail my test.
TAU HUAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I didn't intend to, until I switched on my previous phone to check some stuff.
Its been ages since I've used that phone. My dad persuaded me to trade it in and get some money out of it but I refused. Because... its so precious to me! All the texts since J1.
I panicked when I couldn't turn the phone on. I changed the battery and charged it and at last....YES! The familiar nokia tune played. After checking what I need, I randomly read some of my inbox texts and man...it was hilarious!!!
HAHAHA THOSE were the days man.. JC days..hahahahahhah.
Some idiot texted me this before exams (if you know who you are):
Hey woohoo! Good luck!!! I suddenly thought of this stupid unseen poem! Wish you good luck wish you bad luck wish you born a baby duck!! Yay!
Me: ............. = . = OK.
And when someone was late but refused to admit it was her mistake, she said she was sick. I asked her what illness. She replied:
ass cancer.
Me: ............. YEAH RIGHT.
I asked XX why Y didn't reply my text, XX said:
Dunno. She always take 10 years to see e msg and another 10 years to reply and another 10 years to send. So you'll get her msg when ur 48 yrs old.
Me: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Then there were the times before exams:
Ehx...Pon sch on wed and we mug like siao!
That was why I started ponning JC and wasting time queuing in the Polyclinic for MC - which is kinda stupid cause by the time I get my MC, school is over.
And there was this time during math prelims, I had a mental block and walked out. I was freaking disturbed by it but I received this text:
So damn wasted!! But u rock man! Did u tear ur paper?
Me: !!!!!! Don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And when I was on a cruise someone texted me:
Hope you hit the iceberg and sink.
Me: wth...
Then it was the time which I had to leave for NZ, 11 Feb 2006:
Hl how u feeling today? Congrats on ya dream.
i want to see a happier huiling when you return next year. gonna miss your stupid face, stupid laughters, the stupid you.
sucker what will i do when you go overseas. you suck to the core. you suck like a vacuum cleaner.
Seems like all the texts are cursing me. But it just gives me such a homely feeling. Haha I really miss home tonight. Really really do. I even thought of what I'm gonna eat - To fu hua (Pin le), Ba Chor mee, Kway chup, Wantan mee (Kovan), Char kuay teow, Chee chong fan, chicken rice, fried carrot cake (Ang Mo Kio), Ban mian (S11), Lor Mee, Mee Rebus, Mee Siam, Hor fan, Zi char, Zhu za tang, Ba kut teh, Sting ray, Kang kong, Mee Goreng, Nasi Lemak (Serangoon), Prawn noodle, Sheng mian (Serangoon) etc etc. ROOOAARRRR!!!!! I'll go on a food binge once I land!! If only they have like..small portions so I can taste EVERYTHING in 1 meal. And I'll abstain from my cooking!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG! AND HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THIS!! KUSHIN BO! I'M GONNA EAT EVERYTHING THEY HAVE THERE!!! OH! OH! AND ROTI PRATA! HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THAT! Shit! I'll go on about this forever! How did I even end up talking about food...I thought I was talking about friends. OH YEAH AND HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT THE SUPER CHEAP PAO PAO CHAR!!! I'LL DRINK AT LEAST 1 CUP A DAY. OH NO AND SUGAR CANE ALSO!!!
Ok, all the stores in Kovan hawker centre is running through my mind. I can even remember the shop's order. OH YEAH! STILL GOT! YONG TAO FU!! ok..I'm gonna stop talking about food for awhile. Shit... I really love eating you know. OH YA!!! AND COROCHAN! and also old chang kee! and that TORI Q! and also EDO SUSHI! and LONG JOHN SILVER! KFC! MAC! MOSS!
OK I'LL STOP!!! Talking about that, I was arguing with Grace that I'm not that greedy and I CAN lose weight. So we bet - if I lose 3kg during this hols, she is gonna treat me 2 drinks from Gloria Jeans or else I'm the one who is treating. I was so damn sure I was gonna win but apparently not. They are coming back tomorrow and not only I didn't lose weight I think I gained weight. Haha. Thats so...me. Damn... I can't believe I've to pay for her drinks. And its not cheap at all. I just received 2 letters just now - 1 from studylink (student loan) another from Bank of NZ.
Student loan - Total loan balance: $5699
Bank of NZ - Statement of Accounts: $59.46
Omg my loan is 100 times the amount of money I have in my account. Ha ha. I really don't need to be worried of getting robbed. And I still need to pay for someone else's drinks.
OMG I NEARLY FORGOT TO MENTION SERANGOON's ZI CHAR STORE's CURRY FISH HEAD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA I must print this entry out when I reach Singapore and make sure I eat everything.
Oh...my main purpose of this entry is not about food! Its about texts! I just remembered when I saw my title. I wanted to say (I can't believe I'm gonna say this. I'm cringing!) I miss all of you!!! Even if you curse me, you trash me, you suaned me, you pissed me off, you're nonsensical, you don't make sense - THANK YOU.
Maybe you all should consider treating me with ALL THE FOOD I've listed above!!!
LALALLAAL ONLY FOOD MAKES ME THIS HIGH!
OH YEAH I FORGOT! Theres still more: Swensons (black pepper seafood pasta), Secret Recipe, Ding Tai Feng, Crystal Jade (Porridge, the plain dont know what onion la mian, hor fan), Fish and Co (Mussels with the dont know what lemon butter sauce, sambal fish with rice), Tepenyaki, hokkien noodles..............................................
ok...I'm really gonna stop. Else I'm gonna fail my test.
TAU HUAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The Zahir
It begins with a glimpse or a passing thought.
It ends in obsession.
I've always wanted to buy this book when I was in JC but it was kinda too expensive. The other day I saw it selling at $10 in some sorta warehouse store and of course, bought it. This book is by... Paulo Coelho, as usual... I guess I only have time to read his books.
And so, I spent the whole of last night reading and thinking about it till round 7am. Haven't finished it though, makes me feel like I'm floating around the whole day - like I'm away from reality. Well, its not that its unrealistic but it goes real deep, it feels as though its only you and the book - cut off from the world outside.
He wrote:
I learned something recently: our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad supportive faces, when in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives. When things were bad last year, various people I have never seen before turned up to 'console' me.
Haha... I guess that may be a lil controversial but something radical.
He also wrote, which I personally really like:
A young woman with shining eyes starts telling me the story. To begin with there was the city wall. The wall remained, but one part of it was used to build a chapel. Many years passed, and the chapel became a church. Another century passed, and the church became a Gothic cathedral. The cathedral had had its moments of glory, there had been structural problems, for a time it had been abandoned, then restoration work had distorted the whole shape of the building, but each generation thought it had solved the problem and would rework the original plans. Thus, in the centuries that followed, they raised a wall here, took down a beam there, added a buttress over there, created or bricked up stained-glass windows.
And the cathedral withstood all.
I walked through the skeleton of the cathedral, studying the restoration work currently being carried out: this time the architects guarantee that they have found the perfect solution. Everywhere there are metal supports, scaffolding, grand theories about what to do next and some criticisms about what was done in the past.
And suddenly, in the middle of the central nave, I realise something very important: the cathedral is me, it is all of us. We are all growing and changing shape, we notice certain weaknesses that need to be corrected, we don't always choose the best solution, but we carry on regardless, trying to remain upright and decent, in order to do honour not to the walls or the doors or the windows, but to the empty space inside, the space where we worship and venerate what is dearest and most important to us.
Yes, we are all cathedrals, there is no doubt about it; but what lies in the empty space of my inner cathedral?
It ends in obsession.
I've always wanted to buy this book when I was in JC but it was kinda too expensive. The other day I saw it selling at $10 in some sorta warehouse store and of course, bought it. This book is by... Paulo Coelho, as usual... I guess I only have time to read his books.
And so, I spent the whole of last night reading and thinking about it till round 7am. Haven't finished it though, makes me feel like I'm floating around the whole day - like I'm away from reality. Well, its not that its unrealistic but it goes real deep, it feels as though its only you and the book - cut off from the world outside.
He wrote:
I learned something recently: our true friends are those who are with us when the good things happen. They cheer us on and are pleased by our triumphs. False friends only appear at difficult times, with their sad supportive faces, when in fact, our suffering is serving to console them for their miserable lives. When things were bad last year, various people I have never seen before turned up to 'console' me.
Haha... I guess that may be a lil controversial but something radical.
He also wrote, which I personally really like:
A young woman with shining eyes starts telling me the story. To begin with there was the city wall. The wall remained, but one part of it was used to build a chapel. Many years passed, and the chapel became a church. Another century passed, and the church became a Gothic cathedral. The cathedral had had its moments of glory, there had been structural problems, for a time it had been abandoned, then restoration work had distorted the whole shape of the building, but each generation thought it had solved the problem and would rework the original plans. Thus, in the centuries that followed, they raised a wall here, took down a beam there, added a buttress over there, created or bricked up stained-glass windows.
And the cathedral withstood all.
I walked through the skeleton of the cathedral, studying the restoration work currently being carried out: this time the architects guarantee that they have found the perfect solution. Everywhere there are metal supports, scaffolding, grand theories about what to do next and some criticisms about what was done in the past.
And suddenly, in the middle of the central nave, I realise something very important: the cathedral is me, it is all of us. We are all growing and changing shape, we notice certain weaknesses that need to be corrected, we don't always choose the best solution, but we carry on regardless, trying to remain upright and decent, in order to do honour not to the walls or the doors or the windows, but to the empty space inside, the space where we worship and venerate what is dearest and most important to us.
Yes, we are all cathedrals, there is no doubt about it; but what lies in the empty space of my inner cathedral?
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Backpacking cont'd
I met up with Jes this afternoon and we talked over milk tea. After which I had a sudden urge to do more backpacking.
She was telling me that her dad is currently backpacking South America and would complete traveling round the world within the next 2 years. She told me how did they end up in NZ. Another eye-opener I guess. Her uncle is a sports doctor and represents his country for some Fifa thing. Like, doing check ups for the soccer players so whenever there are matches he gotta fly over for that. It sounds really cool! I guess he gets to meet all those rich and famous. We were studying this case in Public law - something about rights and she related how that actually affected her family. I was so damn shock, like... it actually affected you guys!
Sometimes meeting people with interesting backgrounds makes you feel like doing more in life. It makes you realize that there's a lot more which you haven't seen, haven't experienced, haven't felt and its up to you to fight for it. Life is not just 'here' and 'now', but its 'there' and 'then'. But the question is - whether you want to go for it, whether you dare to go for it?
Grace texted me just now, saying that they just finished kayaking in the South and are going for handgliding tomorrow. SY and J are in Mt Rupeahu skiing. I kinda regretted not joining them but I know I would regret even more if I go. I reckon I really like backpacking, although I'm not really a fan of touring. I think theres a subtle difference. I kinda planned my next big thing. I'm not that ambitious yet to backpack round the world - I don't have that kinda money either. But for the hols within the next 3 years, I'll try backpacking Australia since thats the cheapest alternative. I reckon I shouldn't continue traveling within NZ else I'll be going to the same places again and again and again which isn't really worth it.
And... after graduation... I'll backpack JAPAN!!!!!!!!! That would be around 2010. For that I really need to be very discipline and start saving. And for that, I'll take a mod on the Japanese language next sem.
Well, sounds a lil idealistic but... I gotta make that real. No, no this can't just be a moment of passion. Anyone interested?
She was telling me that her dad is currently backpacking South America and would complete traveling round the world within the next 2 years. She told me how did they end up in NZ. Another eye-opener I guess. Her uncle is a sports doctor and represents his country for some Fifa thing. Like, doing check ups for the soccer players so whenever there are matches he gotta fly over for that. It sounds really cool! I guess he gets to meet all those rich and famous. We were studying this case in Public law - something about rights and she related how that actually affected her family. I was so damn shock, like... it actually affected you guys!
Sometimes meeting people with interesting backgrounds makes you feel like doing more in life. It makes you realize that there's a lot more which you haven't seen, haven't experienced, haven't felt and its up to you to fight for it. Life is not just 'here' and 'now', but its 'there' and 'then'. But the question is - whether you want to go for it, whether you dare to go for it?
Grace texted me just now, saying that they just finished kayaking in the South and are going for handgliding tomorrow. SY and J are in Mt Rupeahu skiing. I kinda regretted not joining them but I know I would regret even more if I go. I reckon I really like backpacking, although I'm not really a fan of touring. I think theres a subtle difference. I kinda planned my next big thing. I'm not that ambitious yet to backpack round the world - I don't have that kinda money either. But for the hols within the next 3 years, I'll try backpacking Australia since thats the cheapest alternative. I reckon I shouldn't continue traveling within NZ else I'll be going to the same places again and again and again which isn't really worth it.
And... after graduation... I'll backpack JAPAN!!!!!!!!! That would be around 2010. For that I really need to be very discipline and start saving. And for that, I'll take a mod on the Japanese language next sem.
Well, sounds a lil idealistic but... I gotta make that real. No, no this can't just be a moment of passion. Anyone interested?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Backpacking #4 - Cape Reinga, Paihia, Whangarei
Just reached Auckland several hours ago from a short backpacking trip.
Really tired, but as usual, gotta unpack, do the laundry, the housework and cook.
This trip was rather short, just 4days 3nights up to Northland. We rented a car from Jucy which was relatively cheap, $26 per day plus $12 per day for full insurance. But the petrol was so expensive because the place was so deserted. There was 1 petrol kiosk which had rates of 180!!!
We started off from Auckland at around noon and drove all the way up to Paihia. The road signs were kinda different from Singapore and just within 10minutes of driving, we got into a 1-way lane and all of us freaked out and I don't know what happened next but we some how took a sharp turn into another lane. That was kinda a bad omen I guess and I was really afraid we would get into an accident during the next few days. But anyway, we drove across the harbour bridge, across North Shore and on to motorway 1A, passed Whangarei, up to Paihia. It took around 4hours and by the time we reached, there was nothing much to do except checking into the backpackers.
We tried out the backpackers called Saltwater. It was awesome. One of my favourite backpackers. I define good as being warm and clean. We had an ensuite room (with toilet) and the place was so clean and big and warm and I really like it heaps!
This is the lounge and kitchen, but I forgot to take a photo of the rooms:
We took a short drive up to the Waitangi grounds...
Headed back to Saltwater for dinner. They watched a couple of movies while I looked through the comments book. It is a book where backpackers write about their experiences and ratings of hostels in NZ. I was busy copying stuff down, hopefully it would be of some use for the rest who are coming over to backpack next year. That book was quite good and funny. Some backpackers wrote utter rubbish in it! We met some other backpackers there too. There were these 2 Germans, same age as me, flew from Germany, bought a car in NZ, traveled for 6months, after which, sold their car at the backpackers' auction and gonna fly back to Germany. Their car costs only $800! But they had to pay for the WOF etc which amounted to $1700 - which is still quite cheap. Theres another group of backpackers who are on a work-holiday trip and a Japanese undergraduate - Kayo, who stopped uni for a year to travel in NZ. She studies children literature in one of the uni in Osaka - basically she draws and writes children story books. How cool! And I think she is just so brave to travel alone! Rocks!
We set off to Cape Reinga next morning and the drive there was really bad. We skidded thrice and I thought I was gonna die each time. The first time was on one of the turns. He couldn't slow down in time and some how lost control of the car and it swerved to the right and left. I was screaming at the back because I was caught off-guard and thrown to the right and left as well. I saw the whole motion of the car and I thought - thats it, we're going off road and down the coast. Luckily we were in the inner lane and after a few moments we were driving straight again. Man, I was really freaked out. But that was not all. The last 20km to the Cape was gravel road. Drove a lil too fast and the whole car ended up perpendicular to the road. If there was a car behind us, we're goners. We finally reached the cape and I silently thank god I'm still alive. It sounds exaggerating but after feeling what I felt, seeing what I saw, I'm so glad I'm safe.
And yes, Cape Reinga was worth the long, horrible, dangerous drive. It was spectacular. Cape Reinga is the northern tip of NZ, also the place where the Tasman Sea and Pacific Ocean meets. Thats why its blue on the right and green on the left (2 different colours of the seas). The wave movements are really slow there, I'm not sure why, maybe because of the wind. Anyway it was just so mind-blowing. Theres no blockage at all since its the northern tip so theres just the sea and sky in front of you. One word - great.
We rushed back to Paihia because it was getting late and thats when the 3rd incident happened - tried overtaking a truck and again, lost control. This time I didn't scream I just grabbed my seatbelt tightly and I thought, please, please let us get through this. Just 1 more time. I heard that familiar screech of the car AGAIN and you know what...we got through it. My hands remained on my seatbelt for the rest of the drive back. I didn't dare let go of it again. I'm really so thankful when we safely reached Saltwater.
Next morning we drove down to Whangarei via Tutukaka, which was a really bad choice. They said it is a scenic drive but we lost our way a couple of times and even ended up in this god-knows-where place which seemed like some lost-world. We were driving on gravel roads which led to a dead-end and windy roads up and down the hill. I think we drove for an hour before knowing it was the wrong route to Whangarei. On the way out, we saw this:
Of course, we can't bang them like how we bang possums, cats, birds etc on the road (Not that we always bang them, but I think we may have. Everyone does I guess, I saw heaps of flattened possums on the roads!) We wasted quite a bit of time waiting for them while they take their on sweet time grazing. Finally we managed to 'overtake' them and drove out of that weird place. SY had a quite a bad motion sickness after that due to the crazy winding roads and up-down slopes. We finally reached Whangarei and checked into the backpackers. I specially took photos of it so that those who are coming next year can get an idea of hows it like. There you go:
This backpackers ain't as good as saltwater because the toilets, kitchen, lounge were outside and the room was not well-insulated. It was so darn cold I couldn't sleep the whole night. Its nice for summer, but a wee bit cold for winter.
We took a short walk to Whangarei falls to see the falls of course:
Whangarei was really...boring. Town closes at 12pm. Even if its open, theres nothing. We didn't know what to do so they taught me driving. I learned a lil about the engines and how to drive a manual car. We found a place which is kinda deserted for me to try driving and I must say, its much tougher than auto! Not that I've really driven before, but I tried driving auto for say...10meters? haha yeah, thats quite a 'distance'. I learned some basics like how to start the car, change gears, reverse, move front, brake, accelerate blah blah blah but stopped soon after. (I'm really afraid of getting caught!)
Headed back to the backpackers and learned some card games like Taithi or something like that and Speed. Yeah, thats more or less the end of the trip. Rushed back to Auckland the next morning and SY had motion sickness again so I had to read the map, something which I'm really bad at. I kinda panicked when I couldn't find all the road names on it and I didn't really know how to direct the driver. But at last it was alright, I was just a lil too nervous. The map didn't have the road names of the last part of the drive so I had to base on intuition and I was really afraid we were on the wrong road cause we had to return the car by noon. But when I saw the harbour bridge, I let out a sigh of relief.
I'm so glad to be home - safe and sound.
For those who are coming next year, if you are reading this,
please please please drive carefully.
Really tired, but as usual, gotta unpack, do the laundry, the housework and cook.
This trip was rather short, just 4days 3nights up to Northland. We rented a car from Jucy which was relatively cheap, $26 per day plus $12 per day for full insurance. But the petrol was so expensive because the place was so deserted. There was 1 petrol kiosk which had rates of 180!!!
We started off from Auckland at around noon and drove all the way up to Paihia. The road signs were kinda different from Singapore and just within 10minutes of driving, we got into a 1-way lane and all of us freaked out and I don't know what happened next but we some how took a sharp turn into another lane. That was kinda a bad omen I guess and I was really afraid we would get into an accident during the next few days. But anyway, we drove across the harbour bridge, across North Shore and on to motorway 1A, passed Whangarei, up to Paihia. It took around 4hours and by the time we reached, there was nothing much to do except checking into the backpackers.
We tried out the backpackers called Saltwater. It was awesome. One of my favourite backpackers. I define good as being warm and clean. We had an ensuite room (with toilet) and the place was so clean and big and warm and I really like it heaps!
This is the lounge and kitchen, but I forgot to take a photo of the rooms:
We took a short drive up to the Waitangi grounds...
Headed back to Saltwater for dinner. They watched a couple of movies while I looked through the comments book. It is a book where backpackers write about their experiences and ratings of hostels in NZ. I was busy copying stuff down, hopefully it would be of some use for the rest who are coming over to backpack next year. That book was quite good and funny. Some backpackers wrote utter rubbish in it! We met some other backpackers there too. There were these 2 Germans, same age as me, flew from Germany, bought a car in NZ, traveled for 6months, after which, sold their car at the backpackers' auction and gonna fly back to Germany. Their car costs only $800! But they had to pay for the WOF etc which amounted to $1700 - which is still quite cheap. Theres another group of backpackers who are on a work-holiday trip and a Japanese undergraduate - Kayo, who stopped uni for a year to travel in NZ. She studies children literature in one of the uni in Osaka - basically she draws and writes children story books. How cool! And I think she is just so brave to travel alone! Rocks!
We set off to Cape Reinga next morning and the drive there was really bad. We skidded thrice and I thought I was gonna die each time. The first time was on one of the turns. He couldn't slow down in time and some how lost control of the car and it swerved to the right and left. I was screaming at the back because I was caught off-guard and thrown to the right and left as well. I saw the whole motion of the car and I thought - thats it, we're going off road and down the coast. Luckily we were in the inner lane and after a few moments we were driving straight again. Man, I was really freaked out. But that was not all. The last 20km to the Cape was gravel road. Drove a lil too fast and the whole car ended up perpendicular to the road. If there was a car behind us, we're goners. We finally reached the cape and I silently thank god I'm still alive. It sounds exaggerating but after feeling what I felt, seeing what I saw, I'm so glad I'm safe.
And yes, Cape Reinga was worth the long, horrible, dangerous drive. It was spectacular. Cape Reinga is the northern tip of NZ, also the place where the Tasman Sea and Pacific Ocean meets. Thats why its blue on the right and green on the left (2 different colours of the seas). The wave movements are really slow there, I'm not sure why, maybe because of the wind. Anyway it was just so mind-blowing. Theres no blockage at all since its the northern tip so theres just the sea and sky in front of you. One word - great.
We rushed back to Paihia because it was getting late and thats when the 3rd incident happened - tried overtaking a truck and again, lost control. This time I didn't scream I just grabbed my seatbelt tightly and I thought, please, please let us get through this. Just 1 more time. I heard that familiar screech of the car AGAIN and you know what...we got through it. My hands remained on my seatbelt for the rest of the drive back. I didn't dare let go of it again. I'm really so thankful when we safely reached Saltwater.
Next morning we drove down to Whangarei via Tutukaka, which was a really bad choice. They said it is a scenic drive but we lost our way a couple of times and even ended up in this god-knows-where place which seemed like some lost-world. We were driving on gravel roads which led to a dead-end and windy roads up and down the hill. I think we drove for an hour before knowing it was the wrong route to Whangarei. On the way out, we saw this:
Of course, we can't bang them like how we bang possums, cats, birds etc on the road (Not that we always bang them, but I think we may have. Everyone does I guess, I saw heaps of flattened possums on the roads!) We wasted quite a bit of time waiting for them while they take their on sweet time grazing. Finally we managed to 'overtake' them and drove out of that weird place. SY had a quite a bad motion sickness after that due to the crazy winding roads and up-down slopes. We finally reached Whangarei and checked into the backpackers. I specially took photos of it so that those who are coming next year can get an idea of hows it like. There you go:
This backpackers ain't as good as saltwater because the toilets, kitchen, lounge were outside and the room was not well-insulated. It was so darn cold I couldn't sleep the whole night. Its nice for summer, but a wee bit cold for winter.
We took a short walk to Whangarei falls to see the falls of course:
Whangarei was really...boring. Town closes at 12pm. Even if its open, theres nothing. We didn't know what to do so they taught me driving. I learned a lil about the engines and how to drive a manual car. We found a place which is kinda deserted for me to try driving and I must say, its much tougher than auto! Not that I've really driven before, but I tried driving auto for say...10meters? haha yeah, thats quite a 'distance'. I learned some basics like how to start the car, change gears, reverse, move front, brake, accelerate blah blah blah but stopped soon after. (I'm really afraid of getting caught!)
Headed back to the backpackers and learned some card games like Taithi or something like that and Speed. Yeah, thats more or less the end of the trip. Rushed back to Auckland the next morning and SY had motion sickness again so I had to read the map, something which I'm really bad at. I kinda panicked when I couldn't find all the road names on it and I didn't really know how to direct the driver. But at last it was alright, I was just a lil too nervous. The map didn't have the road names of the last part of the drive so I had to base on intuition and I was really afraid we were on the wrong road cause we had to return the car by noon. But when I saw the harbour bridge, I let out a sigh of relief.
I'm so glad to be home - safe and sound.
For those who are coming next year, if you are reading this,
please please please drive carefully.
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