Pre-Examination Symptoms

1. Excessive blogging
I think this is obvious enough to even elaborate.

2. Copious amounts of food
Ok, instant noodles to be exact. Its the only time I do that when I have groceries in my fridge but still indulge in instant noodles. Simply because it is tasty, fast and filling.

3. Hibernation mode
Sleeps more than whats sufficient for the first couple of days to hide away from the looming exams and goes into a state of trepidation when I realize that no matter how hard I try to hide, reality finds me.

4. Mood fluctuations
I shall not use 'mood swings' here because it has this negative connotation to it and I like deceiving myself that I am immune to that common mistake girls make. Yes, my mood fluctuates and will hit resonance every now and then. (I'm quite sure that word shouldn't be used like that but I just thought fluctuations and resonance go well together) And when that happens, I turn into something worse.

5. Savagery
I start being the total opposite of my usual 'gentle' self. (Yes, you know how 'gentle' I usually am, imagine a few times worse).

6. Isolation
Decided that I should be a good Samaritan and hopefully prevent others from experiencing my wrath, I know I should be with no one else but myself. But paranoia and fear and pessimism and whatever rubbish you can think of sets in. So off I go to cafes or msn so that it feels that there are people around me but at the same time I will not assault them in anyway. Whats more, how stress can you be when you are sitting in a nice cafe sipping aromatic coffee? (VERY when you are studying Accounting but still much less than home).

7. Stop talking or start talking rubbish
Either I try to live a day being a mute or talk so much rubbish you just want to shut me up. (Yes, mp, now you know why I was saying all those nonsense just now bout KKK)

8. Sudden urge to prove my point
A horrid habit and risky thought I always wanted to try - Either missing the exam or just NOT study at all, fail it or do way below expectations to prove my point that I do not care, I do not like the paper I'm doing, I am not a perfectionist, I am not paper chasing, I am not the good student you want me to be, I am a slacker, I am me and I am just gonna do what I like. But sad to say, I have not done that before.

The closest I got was maybe in Sec 3 when I refused to study for Social Studies because I thought it was bullcrap with all those propaganda. I didn't do that well but I didn't fail either. So its not strong enough to stand for my point.

The next one was in J2 when I walked out during the Math paper during Prelims. But I reckon thats more of a mental breakdown than a statement. Yes, I failed that paper but the motivating factor behind that was - shit I can't do it, not - this is not what I like so I'm not doing it.

9. Enter the abyss of thought
Not exactly the best time but I start thinking about everything and anything about my life, the world, the past, future, present, friends, family and stuff. After which unfathomable questions arise which questions the basis of everything I am doing and live for. Definitely not a very pleasurable experience.

10. Marriage
Ok, this is utterly nonsensical but I shall end this post by exposing my most well-hidden fact - not going to say it is a secret else I wouldn't even be typing it here. Its just something I think its a lil too...well, random.

I feel like getting married during the exams period because I think it is one of the most perfect way of escaping the tortures of it. For example, if you get married and have a stable family, it means you are settled for life and do not need to worry for your exams because:
- Your spouse will still love you even if you do badly for the exams. (Ok, thats if you find a spouse who love you not for your exams results)
- You do not need to prove that you are smart to anyone because the person who matters already know you are or doesn't mind that you are not.
- You know for sure that there is someone there to support you when you get back your exams results.
- You know doing badly wouldn't make much of a difference as doing well because you have a husband to support you financially.
- Maybe your husband can teach you or maybe your husband says you DO NOT NEED to take the exams because he will support you for life. (OMG I SO WILL MARRY THIS GUY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA)

O.M.G. I just typed some of the most nonsensical stuff again. You see, when Huiling stops trying to be rational and sane and goes back to being herself, she comes up with the most harebrained ideas/actions/theories. That is why I must control myself and not just let loose and start doing what I like or else... I'm going to bring calamity unto myself.

Ok, back to marriage (now I realize why I keep talking about marriage recently). I was talking to mp just now and I came up with the best idea. She asked me when I wanna get married. I said during graduation! Here are all the perks of getting married during graduation, in order of importance:

1. Save money -
Isn't it obvious enough how much money you can save? You don't need to buy a wedding gown, you just get married in your graduation gown - it isn't too sloppy and it looks cool and smart.
Plus you save on your wedding/graduation photo.
Your husband and friends only need to give you 1 present for 2 huge occasions.
Only 1 dinner is required.

2. Save time -
You celebrate 2 occasions in 1 day.

3. Save trouble -
Your friends only need to attend once for 2 celebrations.

4. Trying to be special -
Not everyone does this kinda things so you and your spouse are kinda unique.

Haha, I am writing everything in point form recently! Must be the effects of doing too much note-writing.

Alright, I will stop here before I start rambling on about all my random thoughts and images I have in my mind. I will spare you that.