Daydream

I'm pretty screwed now cause I was supposed to start revising for my tests and doing my assignments last Thursday but haven't really started till now (Sunday).
But I'm in a mood for relaxation. (aka daydreaming)

Daydreaming about me living in a beautiful house built on stilts with an infinity edge pool facing the sea..


like a world of my own...


and I imagine I can play the piano and maybe I've a piano room with full glass windows on the 3rd floor, extending out to the sea by this open air walkway from the main house (so its like you're playing in the middle of the sea)And the piano is white with chandeliers hanging on the ceiling..

and of course, a nice clean open-concept kitchen where I probably spend most of my time in..

and a small bar in the corner (for my friends to drink, not me) and also a coffee machine..

and a simple garden with no trees but grass and small lil potted plants (must be clean and neat!) with a sheltered swing on the balcony for me to read my books..

and I remembered when I was young, I had this image of my dream home in my head - a built-in waterfall. When you step into the house theres a man-made waterfall from the 3rd floor and it is separated from the living area by glass panels. From the bedroom (upper levels) you can open your inner windows and look out to that waterfall.

and there will be waterways extending into the house from outside...so basically its integrating the nature into your house and your house out to the nature kinda thing. (I'd even a more absurd idea of having a basement with bouldering walls and attic where you can star-gaze.)

and I'll have a yacht which I imagine I can sail with friends and family as and when we feel like

and I'll have a Beagle, Golden Retriever, Miniature Schnauzer, Siberian Husky, Alaskan Malamute and 2 horses (and maybe a dolphin haha)

and of course, my small lil family and kids!

right.. I sure have good imagination.

My assuring friend

Its been a dreary week which I can't bring myself to explain why.
Linghui was trying to convince me that we are happy and satisfied =)
In the midst of my internal struggles...
I received a postcard from mp!! Giving me heaps of encouragement..

Ok, I don't know how to crop.
My most indifferent friend always does the most unlikely things!
What a timely arrival...
MP you rock! Its as if you can sense whether I'm in trouble or not even if I don't say it!

Easter Hols

Its Easter and apparently its quite a big thing here. Almost ALL THE SHOPS ARE CLOSE!!! (Sense my frustration?!)

There are no places to go! And although e cinemas are open, it costs NZD15.50! And we ended up in Hulu Cat AGAIN.

I think the only places open are either fast food restaurants or churches!

I tried playing golf at the driving range yesterday and its pretty fun! Although its quite an expensive sport.

I went to a friend's place for dinner because she said there would be quite a few Japanese there! But it was pretty weird since I'm the youngest (and really much younger) there. And yes, wine was served. And of course, I didn't touch it. I WILL LEARN soon.

And my highly anticipated Fortune Magazine finally arrived! Quite an interesting read.. I'll bring it down to the pool side and flip through a few pages in the evenings. Singapore Airlines is one of the very very VERY few Asia companies ranked Top 20 Most Admirable Companies. Most are from the US. Toyota (Japan) is also one of the top.

Another Singapore company is Flextronics - Flextronics has a contract from Microsoft to build the Zune, Xbox and Xbox 360. Quite impressive! There are quite a few articles on Steve Jobs and Apple too. (Hendric, I bet you'll love them even more if you've read it. You'll be one of the many willing victims under their marketing strategies! Haha) Check out their Apple store at 5th Avenue! Looks like the Louvre Pyramid. Its like a tourists attraction la!!

'Under the Cube on Fifth Avenue, a space that reshapes the rules of retailing.'

They said, 'Our goal was never to have a store for a cult. It was to be a store for EVERYONE.' They even hold patent for the staircase design. Absolutely cool.

The richest city in the world - No, its not Dubai. Its name is Abu Dhabi.

Living the dream

I was that close to dropping law. THAT close.
From ~8pm - ~12am, people I talked to said that they would drop law if they were in my shoes. I was really inclined towards their opinions because I know life would be easy for me if I go that way. But I knew I'd to have a balanced judgment so I talked to another group of people till 6am to consider further.

I decided I was just too tired to make a rational decision, I rested for a couple of hours before making my way down to the law school and decided to leave fate to the student advisers. Hilary Smeeton referred me to the Dean and we discussed at length the options available. It was just too tempting to resist. I know deep down, I enjoy law..its just that I'm intimidated by it. The competition, the expectations, the moots, the opinions and workload.

I've thought a lot. About my life in the past, present and future. It had been relatively smooth sailing and I'm pretty much well on track. Yet I don't like the idea of being stuck in conformity. I don't want to live my life in accord with the perceived social standards. I want to live my dream which is only special to me.

But it seems like my life was led in compliance to the prevailing social expectations. Primary school -> Secondary School (Science) -> JC (Science)-> Uni. If I truly did what I felt like, I would have done arts in the past. I've struggled a lil, between choosing what I like and what is right (society's perspective).

But it goes hand in hand I reckon. Sometimes you need to conform to society's rules and expectations to live your dream. I often steer off the 'right' track, trying to make a statement that I am doing what I like and I am living my life in accordance to no other standards except mine. I tried doing design, I nearly took up political studies, I tried backpacking etc and till this very day, I tried dropping law (thinking that that is what I feel like doing and I should just do what I feel like). But its a hard decision. You can't always do what you feel like, it doesn't work. Living my kinda dream doesn't work by just dropping everything else at hand and break free. I'm not going to end up in a situation which I dream to be in.

As much as I want to lead a carefree life, I know its not possible in this society. The only way is to conform but stick on to your dream. Work hard, play along with everyone else. Compete if you need to, be sad for awhile but remember to see the bigger picture. I'm still living my dream. Do whatever it takes, even being a victim of the social hierarchy but ultimately, continue living your dream. Kinda paradoxical but maybe thats how it works.

I guess many think that I'm a person who does things in accordance to 'whats best' and 'whats good'. Yeah, I guess. But, then again, its just another step towards living my dream.

5am: 3rd post tonight.

Crazy night. Wasted. I suck.

____. i hate this.

The temptation to give up is always...at the back of my head and occasionally (actually quite constantly) strikes.

It has been an arduous and pressurizing week and I'm trying to keep my head above water. But how I wish I can just...yawn, shut down and hibernate.

If I quit law, I'll graduate this year. Sounds like a plan...