Living the dream

I was that close to dropping law. THAT close.
From ~8pm - ~12am, people I talked to said that they would drop law if they were in my shoes. I was really inclined towards their opinions because I know life would be easy for me if I go that way. But I knew I'd to have a balanced judgment so I talked to another group of people till 6am to consider further.

I decided I was just too tired to make a rational decision, I rested for a couple of hours before making my way down to the law school and decided to leave fate to the student advisers. Hilary Smeeton referred me to the Dean and we discussed at length the options available. It was just too tempting to resist. I know deep down, I enjoy law..its just that I'm intimidated by it. The competition, the expectations, the moots, the opinions and workload.

I've thought a lot. About my life in the past, present and future. It had been relatively smooth sailing and I'm pretty much well on track. Yet I don't like the idea of being stuck in conformity. I don't want to live my life in accord with the perceived social standards. I want to live my dream which is only special to me.

But it seems like my life was led in compliance to the prevailing social expectations. Primary school -> Secondary School (Science) -> JC (Science)-> Uni. If I truly did what I felt like, I would have done arts in the past. I've struggled a lil, between choosing what I like and what is right (society's perspective).

But it goes hand in hand I reckon. Sometimes you need to conform to society's rules and expectations to live your dream. I often steer off the 'right' track, trying to make a statement that I am doing what I like and I am living my life in accordance to no other standards except mine. I tried doing design, I nearly took up political studies, I tried backpacking etc and till this very day, I tried dropping law (thinking that that is what I feel like doing and I should just do what I feel like). But its a hard decision. You can't always do what you feel like, it doesn't work. Living my kinda dream doesn't work by just dropping everything else at hand and break free. I'm not going to end up in a situation which I dream to be in.

As much as I want to lead a carefree life, I know its not possible in this society. The only way is to conform but stick on to your dream. Work hard, play along with everyone else. Compete if you need to, be sad for awhile but remember to see the bigger picture. I'm still living my dream. Do whatever it takes, even being a victim of the social hierarchy but ultimately, continue living your dream. Kinda paradoxical but maybe thats how it works.

I guess many think that I'm a person who does things in accordance to 'whats best' and 'whats good'. Yeah, I guess. But, then again, its just another step towards living my dream.