I woke up lying on a damp pillow and I was wondering what the hell just happened. And I realized my face was wet as well. It took me awhile to actually realize that I was crying. I tried to recall my dreams I had during the night and it all came flowing back. It doesn't really make sense though. I dreamt that my dad tore his ligament but still insisted on going trekking (?!?!?!). And I remembered him limping in the forest (?!?!?!!).
What does this suppose to mean?!
1) I miss my dad too much
2) I miss trekking too much
3) I'm just stress

And I vaguely remembered I'd another dream before that that one of my friends met with a mishap. But I can't remember what. Its frustrating though, when you don't have much time to sleep yet you can't sleep well. I'd another dream recently about forensic science (?!?!?)

If I'm not wrong, its the mid-autumn fest tonight and if I'm not wrong it signifies some family gathering thing or something like that. Of course, it evoked certain emotions and memories. But I know I'm not the only one away from home and this shouldn't be affecting me even a wee bit. I'm trying hard to stay on track now but, I really miss my family.

I drew up a study plan last night and whilst planning I felt numbness in my brain - I'm so gonna die this time round. Even if I start mugging this very minute I can't complete whatever there is and the fear starts rushing in. That constant prick throughout the whole day, even at dinner just now celebrating Kelvin's birthday. I saw last year's batch graduating today and their proud smirk on their face. I can't wait for my turn. It would be next year if I drop one of the degrees. But this small voice in me constantly say NO YOU STUPID ASS!!!

This is just another passing phase and I still need to get through it. Again, I'm tired, again, I miss my family and friends, again, I feel like giving up, again everything is piling up, but again, I need to go through it.

I need to start working. Start doing what I need to do. Go downtown to buy the stupid stamps to send my stupid application, read the stupid cases, do the stupid online test, read the stupid readings, go for the stupid lectures, sleep less, cook faster, focus more...everything to get through this stupid period.

Till then, I'll stop youtubing.

Happy mid-autumn fest.
I need to talk to my parents.