Good Bye Singapore!!
The good thing is...I've finally internet at home.. so you'll probably see me online more often, posting more often, emailing more often.
It feels once again, surreal.
Trying to recall how I lead my life here, I do what I always do.
1) Attempted to run to Mission Bay again
2) Ran to Viaduct Harbour
3) Visited GJ at Borders
4) Cook
5) Clean up the house
6) Read
7) Plan
8) Sleep
I spent the past few days reorganizing everything - getting prepared for Uni, sourcing for scholarships and grants, finding for a job, settling student loan, unpack and pack etc.
This is another start of a new year and everyone has their new year resolutions. Some stick to it, but I reckon most don't. I don't really have a proper resolution, just to do anything and everything to achieve my goal in life which actually, have remained constant throughout most of my life. That is why, I find no reason to set a new year resolution because ironically, though my goal in life is always constant, my plans and methods of achieving it also change constantly. I reckon I don't really want to bind myself down to 1 plan, 1 way, 1 method because along the way, you realize there are more possibilities which you've never even imagined before.
So....I've just 1 big goal, many lil plans and methods which I can choose from. Some may say that I'm fickle-minded but changes in life makes it more exciting. I may not carry it out in the end, but it gets me going rather than idling around.
And so I sat in GJ at Borders for an afternoon, reflecting about what happened the past weeks, what is happening now and what is going to happen or rather, what I want to happen in future. Initially plans for this year looked a lil boring so I decided to venture a lil further.
I briefly browse through the lonely planets for different countries and started planning my travel. I nearly hyperventilate when I saw the costs for traveling in Europe. The budgeted criteria is still way above my budget so I concluded that I should go there for an exchange programme to make traveling plausible.
But I'm kinda set for the next 2 years. I've just started learning Japanese through self-help books and will be taking a paper on it in my 1st Sem. I've also just sent an email to Tokyo Uni to check if they've a short language course at the end of the year, during my summer vacation which I can apply for. (Like what Esther is doing!) If there is, I can stay there a lil longer and backpack a lil longer. If not, I'll just do what I did in Korea. For that, I've to work my ass off this summer and during the breaks.
Then! For next year, work my ass off again and off I go to Australia! Not exactly extremely excited bout Australia since I've been there quite a number of times and its a lil similar to NZ but I reckon you'll learn something new in every trip and experience something, good or bad. You'll never know so just embrace it, since its the cheapest alternative other than traveling within NZ (which I won't anymore!)
As I was flipping through the stack of lonely planets, Dad dropped by and gave me a puzzled look, 'Ling ah, why you like to travel suddenly.'
Yeah, its kinda a 'sudden' thing. I remembered I didn't like to travel in the past. I traveled quite a lot when I was young with my family. We usually go on tours and are surrounded with Singaporeans not the locals. I missed my friends and all I thought was: when are we going home.
I miss my friends, I miss the food, I miss my bed, I miss my country, I miss this and I miss that. I've never learned to let go. I've hanged on to my past so tightly that I don't look forward. My friend told me very bluntly one day, 'Huiling, why are you ALWAYS talking about your past. FOR GOD'S SAKE..MOVE ON!' I was never extremely close to that friend of mine but I've learnt a lot about myself from her. We are so different such that personality became clearer to me and I realized I've been living in my own lil world with my own circle of friends all along. There are indeed, many many types of people in this world. Her bluntness towards me made me feel like strangling her most of the times but at the end of the day, I reckon it exposed me to another kinda perspective.
Anyway, back to the point about traveling. I told my dad bout the stuff I've learnt from traveling and how much it can change a person. Its not just the thrill and fun of it but I guess, it allows you to see the bigger picture. It exonerates you. It makes you feel that your life is worth living. It makes you know that life don't just end when you've achieved what you've planned because there are more things you can do - just that you didn't know. In short, there is more to life. Don't think that there is nothing to do. There is a whole lot of things to do. My dad said, 'Yeah traveling is exciting. But what happens if you've finished traveling?' I don't think I can cover everywhere in this life. Even if I do, there is still more! Every country has its culture, how can you finish learning all within a hundred years? How can you learn all the languages in this life? Even if you can, there is more to uncover! Music, Arts, Languages, Science, History etc. My god, I can't list everything that there is to uncover in life. Plus, you'll never know what will happen at any point of life. I've never expected to study law, I've never expected to like or dare to backpack, I've never expected to study in Auckland...
Life is really full of surprises but whether you want to seize them, let them pass by you and lament that life is just like that.. its as I've always said.. up to you.
Live your life to the fullest, they always say. And I always will agree.
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