My point of view

My route to happiness

Happiness to me when I was young was simple - attention from my family and friends, getting the things I want and need, not getting scolded, getting praised

As time passes, attaining happiness became a bit more complex - I needed recognition, I needed trust, I needed freedom, I needed responsibility, I needed good results. Basically, i needed a life

Now, I no longer know what constitutes happiness and the true feeling of it. That is when I started to ponder, when in my life was I really happy? And what made me happy?

I know, I may sound very pessimistic, but I guess pessimism and paranoia goes hand in hand but reflections aren't a part of it, even if it has a 'sad' aspect to it.
Happiness now a days are fleeting and short-lived. Its harder to attain and yet, transient. Laughing doesn't mean you are happy, smiling doesn't too - all these actions are just a form of courtesy towards the people around you because pulling a long face just isn't the right thing to do. I asked myself countless times, why am I not happy? And what exactly IS being happy?

I thought of several reasons - I do not appreciate what I have. My expectations are too high. I am too pessimistic. I'm just being a dumbass.
But during my quest of finding an answer, I realised that I am not the only one. In fact, people around me are facing similar situations - they are unhappy without a reason.

Up till now, I still can't find a definite answer to that. Are we really unappreciative so much so that we are taking things for granted? I'm not sure. All I am definite is that, we gotta do whatever it takes to make ourselves happy. Although I can't tell you what it feels like to be happy or what you need to do to be happy, I can, however, share some thoughts about it.

In my point of view, Happiness, is the ultimate goal we all aim to achieve. (I do not consider anything being constant, absolute, ultimate, supreme except happiness)
I think whatever we are doing or we plan to do is for achieving this ideal in the long run. Maybe some things you do would result in unhappiness, soreness, sadness, but that is just within a short period of time, you do it subconsciously in hope that you can gain more in future and hence be happy. Thats something like the cost-benefit principle where you perceive your future benefits outweighing your current costs.

I admire those who are able to achieve happiness. I think people who can be happy are due to 2 reasons, either they are just purely happy for who they are or they know what to do to make themselves happy. I think most of us fall into the 2nd category.
I don't like the way my mom criticize some people's actions sometimes. Because, as long as you are happy, anything you do to achieve that is justified, since that is your ultimate goal. Some may look down on a rubbish collector but what if he is truly happy with his job? If offered a CEO position, how can you guarantee that he would be happy? A CEO position, prima facie, is better but if you look deeper, your ultimate goal is being happy and if you need to be a rubbish collector instead of a CEO to ahieve it, so be it.

It is just that there is an invisible force in society which pushes one to think that being at the top of the social hierarchy would result in happiness. There are many reasons to justify that - money, power etc but it is based on an assumption that these are the factors which would constitute happiness. But not all assumptions are applicable to everyone. It may to the majority, but what if you are in the minority group? That is no fault of yours. So, don't rely on social standards because they may be wrong. Know yourself, know what you want, know your purpose instead of knowing what the society wants. With that, you can reach your ultimate goal - happiness. And in my point of view, once you've attained that, whether you are a rubbish collector, a lawyer, a doctor, a hawker, a student, a designer, a cleaner, a waitress, you are successful.

Have what I've written make sense? Or maybe its another naive point of view. Like what my mom always say, 'Huiling, grow up. Stop being naive.'